topic Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush? in Community Chat

Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

SahmIam — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:03:25 GMT

I have a dear friend whose daughter has a YouTube channel. As part of this channel, she asks for feedback "down below" at the end of a video. She deals with fashion, home and hearth and "hauls". Last night, dear friend called me to ask my opinion on the following:

do YouTubers who ask for feedback want the truth or tush kissing?

In my world, if you ask me for my opinion, I'm going to give it to you; you may not like what I have to say but YOU ASKED me for my opinion. Else, I don't say anything. I've had family and friends come to me and say 'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" about something and I always respond with "you didn't ASK me". Dear friend knows this about me. But her question had me thinking: when people ask you for feedback or your opinion, do they want your honest opinion OR do they want you to simply tell them what they want to hear (be it honest or not) aka tush kissing?

Her daughter is VERY upset when there is ANY comment that isn't 100% positive or praising her for her content. I think that's completely unrealistic and yet, I do believe this is what most people want when they ask. I'm not talking about the obvious troll; I'm talking about wanting feedback on something and then getting upset when you don't hear what you want to hear. If that's the case and you're on YouTube, disable your comments or don't ask for feedback.

As a follow-up: if you put yourself out there in the public eye and are looking to make money off of your channel/the public, you open yourself up to scrutiny.... Yes or no?

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

phoenixbrd — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:06:19 GMT

Yes, Truth....always.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

Sooner — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:09:22 GMT

You can be kind or be a jerk when asked for an opinion. It is totally YOUR choice. It isn't a matter of truth or lie.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

kaydee50 — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:14:52 GMT

If people don't want to hear the truth, they shouldn't ask for an opinion. Nothing is perfect and if the criticism is constructive, they should want to hear it.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

Susan-QVC — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:12:17 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC not nice/offensive to some

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

TaylorBrown — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:14:45 GMT

If someone asks for my opinion, they get it. I am very blunt so with me it is be careful what you ask for because you just may get it.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

Scooby Doo — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:15:27 GMT

It totally depends on the person you are talking to. I think you have to know their personality and respond accordingly. Some people are sensitive and need only positive feedback. Others are asking for honest feedback and probably won't be offended when they hear criticism. When I ask for an opinion I always take into account the person giving their opinion. Some people just say things out of spite. I think you have to sift through all the opinions and be self aware.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

queendiva — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:17:51 GMT

@SahmIam : DF's DD sounds like a "snowflake".

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

occasionalrain — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 17:03:29 GMT

Each of us is responsible for protecting ourselves and our feelings. If you are fragile, sensitive it's your responsibility to avoid people, forums, and asking for opinions that may become upsetting to you. Quoting Truman "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen".

Posters shouldn't be expected to egg walk.

Personally, I dislike crude talk, doesn't upset me just displeases me. Sometimes, I'm places where that's the language spoken and I accept it because I'm enjoying everything else.

Edited to correct my mistake. I thought the quote was Churchill's but instead it belongs to Truman. I have changed it give credit to whom it belongs.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

SahmIam — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:52:03 GMT

@Sooner I agree with you that HOW you deliver the opinion matters. But what if your opinion isn't what they want to hear (it isn't what they believe to be the truth)?

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

ScarletDove — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:26:20 GMT

@SahmIam wrote:
I have a dear friend whose daughter has a YouTube channel. As part of this channel, she asks for feedback "down below" at the end of a video. She deals with fashion, home and hearth and "hauls". Last night, dear friend called me to ask my opinion on the following:

do YouTubers who ask for feedback want the truth or tush kissing?

In my world, if you ask me for my opinion, I'm going to give it to you; you may not like what I have to say but YOU ASKED me for my opinion. Else, I don't say anything. I've had family and friends come to me and say 'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" about something and I always respond with "you didn't ASK me". Dear friend knows this about me. But her question had me thinking: when people ask you for feedback or your opinion, do they want your honest opinion OR do they want you to simply tell them what they want to hear (be it honest or not) aka tush kissing?

Her daughter is VERY upset when there is ANY comment that isn't 100% positive or praising her for her content. I think that's completely unrealistic and yet, I do believe this is what most people want when they ask. I'm not talking about the obvious troll; I'm talking about wanting feedback on something and then getting upset when you don't hear what you want to hear. If that's the case and you're on YouTube, disable your comments or don't ask for feedback.

As a follow-up: if you put yourself out there in the public eye and are looking to make money off of your channel/the public, you open yourself up to scrutiny.... Yes or no?

@SahmIam I highlighted what you said about you and how you respond! I too live in realism, like the response or not. I do not give my opinion unless it is like this forum or I am asked. If my adult child or friend opens the door for my opinion, I will oblige otherwise I keep it to myself. I was taught to always think twice before opening your mouth!

If your friends daughter is unable to take criticism (which is so easy to do in these formats), then she should not be in this kind of business. If she wants to eliminate comments, what does she learn. And YES, if you put yourself out there indeed you open yourself to scrutiny!

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

ECBG — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:28:54 GMT

I agree with you completely.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

Still Raining — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:29:30 GMT

Do I have it right - DD of DF asks for feedback on her channel, then complains to DF, who in turns asks her DF to put it out on a forum for advice?

Manufactured crisis.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

CrazyDaisy — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:31:25 GMT

It is more telling about people who only want positive feedback rather then those who give honest opinions.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

jackthebear — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:31:46 GMT

my take on this

if you want to play on that stage,

you need to toughen up and learn from what they are selling

can't stand heat out of the kitchen

all these kids are too sensitive

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

qbetzforreal — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:32:48 GMT

The same thing happens on these forums.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

SahmIam — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:33:28 GMT

@queendiva wrote:
@SahmIam : DF's DD sounds like a "snowflake".

@queendiva Well, she's in her late 40's (close to my age) so...maybe. Then again, it depends on what you define a "snowflake" as.

I notice this on the majority of YouTube channels I've watched. In fact, it's the reason I unsubscribed to channels over the years....the person would get nasty at subscribers for not agreeing with whatever the video was about or not agreeing that XYZ was "so fantastic". I think part of the issue may be due to linking and the commission involved since so much of YouTube is really nothing more than a giant infomercial now. Perhaps her attitude toward negative feedback is simply the new norm. Kinda sad, to be honest, if it is.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

jackthebear — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:33:49 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
Each of us is responsible for protecting ourselves and our feelings. If you are fragile, sensitive it's your responsibility to avoid people, forums, and asking for opinions that may become upsetting to you. Quoting Churchill, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen".
Posters shouldn't be expected to egg walk.

Personally, I dislike crude talk, doesn't upset me just displeases me. Sometimes, I'm places where that's the language spoken and I accept it because I'm enjoying everything else.

I just used that I think it was Truman, going to check

yes it was Truman

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

GenXmuse — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:35:10 GMT

If she doesn't take her viewers comments seriously, her views will go down. Some are just mean but she could glean good information too.

But, considering the friendship I'd say something non-commital like oh gosh, I'm not an expert but it looks like she's enjoying doing it and she's found an outlet etc.

Re: Opinions...truth or kissing tush?

SahmIam — Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:36:24 GMT

@Still Raining wrote:
Do I have it right - DD of DF asks for feedback on her channel, then complains to DF, who in turns asks her DF to put it out on a forum for advice?

Manufactured crisis.

@Still Raining No, but if that's how you interpreted it... carry on.