topic Re: What would you have done? in Community Chat

What would you have done?

halfpint1 — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 16:22:55 GMT

I go around an outside mall for recylables. People want to give me money but I tell them I do not take money. This elderly lady pushing a handicap cart wanted to. I kept saying no but she would not hear of it. She put the money in my jacket pocket. And said it is a blessing. I am not poor. When I got home it was 6 $1. All I could say I will give it to someone else.

Re: What would you have done?

riley1 — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 16:28:16 GMT

@halfpint1 - hope you are feeling well. Even though you said no, she felt she was doing something nice for you. She probably thought you needed the money because you were going to sell the recyclables. If you want, pay it forward to someone you think needs it.

Re: What would you have done?

vermint — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 16:30:16 GMT

@halfpint1 Somebody said something once that really resonated with me. It was "if somebody wants to do something nice for you, let them do it!" It makes them feel good. That lady probably walked away with a warm glow around her heart!

Re: What would you have done?

Preds — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 16:37:52 GMT

@halfpint1 ... you felt uneasy, but I bet that sweet lady felt blessed to be able to share with you. It gave her a warm feeling I'm sure. Maybe you can take that money and donate it to a food pantry or animal shelter. Then you can feel the same blessing she felt.

Re: What would you have done?

deepwaterdotter — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 16:57:48 GMT

@Preds wrote:
@halfpint1 ... you felt uneasy, but I bet that sweet lady felt blessed to be able to share with you. It gave her a warm feeling I'm sure. Maybe you can take that money and donate it to a food pantry or animal shelter. Then you can feel the same blessing she felt.

Excellent suggestion on this #Giving Tuesday, and everyday.

Re: What would you have done?

Porcelain — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 17:07:44 GMT

If it were me, I would try to figure out a way to communicate to onlookers that I wasn't a homeless person in need, without having to say it every time.

So I'd have a sweatshirt or tshirt printed, saying "Collecting recylcables for the environment (or pet shelters or whatever). Please donate to [insert charity website here]" And a heart or "Bless You" or something. Or I'd have something like a big tie-on marathon number type thing I could put over my coat that said all that. That way people who saw me would be reassured I wasn't in distress and needing help.

And if anyone insisted on giving me money I would have some sort of box or special wallet or envelope I would put it in, and let them know it would go to that charity.

Re: What would you have done?

Lucky Charm — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 18:19:17 GMT

@Porcelain wrote:
If it were me, I would try to figure out a way to communicate to onlookers that I wasn't a homeless person in need, without having to say it every time.

I agree.

Maybe because of the walk you take and picking up cans, etc. and I don't know if you push a shopping cart, but it's possible the *look* is why they think that.

So I'd wear a pretty top and pants and some little earrings---all casual looking, but a little more than if I were working in the yard.

One time I made a late nite trip to the post office because I'd been cleaning all day, but had to get a package back.

I had on a horrible looking outfit, my hair was crazy looking I'm sure and no make up. I was trying to get my dollar bills to go in the machine with no luck. So I'm digging in my handbag for crisper bills and a woman walked in and took one look at me and asked me if I needed *help* and she was holding out a 5 or 10 dollar bill. She had that look of sympathy on her face.

Normally, I would've busted out laughing. But I was mortified because I had NO business walking out of the house the way I looked!

~~It was pretty bad~~.

Re: What would you have done?

goldensrbest — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 18:44:07 GMT

She thought you were homeless,i bet.

Re: What would you have done?

Peaches McPhee — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 19:24:45 GMT

Sometimes it is nicer and easier to just accept something rather than not. I have accepting "gifts" from clients that I did not want or need. But to refuse would have caused them sadness and I don't want to do that.

Re: What would you have done?

ahoymate — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 19:54:13 GMT

Don't spend your precious time worrying about this. Enjoy!

Re: What would you have done?

Cakers3 — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:19:45 GMT

@halfpint1 You did what you could to not accept the money but now you have it.

You can donate it or save it for a special cause that may come up in your area.

This woman had good intentions so just pay it forward.

Re: What would you have done?

chrystaltree — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:20:03 GMT

That's not surprising, she though you were a homeless or down on your luck person. Those are the people who do what you are doing. You can give it someone else but it's only $6 so put it in the collection plate at church.

Re: What would you have done?

chrystaltree — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:22:03 GMT

@vermint wrote:
@halfpint1 Somebody said something once that really resonated with me. It was "if somebody wants to do something nice for you, let them do it!" It makes them feel good. That lady probably walked away with a warm glow around her heart!

I totally agree with that. Why let pride rob someone of the good feeling they get from doing good? Especially in a situation like this.

Re: What would you have done?

GenXmuse — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:24:42 GMT

Is there a particular reason you collect recyclables?

Re: What would you have done?

chickenbutt — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 21:28:20 GMT

I've learned that if somebody is trying to give me something, pay, etc, not to say no more than twice. When it continues to go back and forth, it ends up hurting the other person.

I actually had to teach my husband that. Somebody would offer to pay for dinner, or whatever, and he would keep saying no over and over and over until it became a big thing. Have to just let the person do it, as others have said, and not make it where they end up feeling badly about it.

Like you said, you can just use it to help somebody else so everybody wins.

BTW, I hope you had a happy birthday. We have the same birthday, so I was thinking about you, hoping you were having a lovely day.

Re: What would you have done?

geezerette — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 22:29:01 GMT

@halfpint1

I think giving the money to someone who really needs it is a wonderful idea.

Re: What would you have done?

halfpint1 — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 22:32:06 GMT

Thank you for the birthday wish. And you have a good year.

Re: What would you have done?

mrssweetiebear — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 22:40:40 GMT

This is especially poignant since it was six one dollar bills. She probably needed it more than you but it made her feel good to give. Now I'd make myself feel good and give it to a local animal rescue.

Re: What would you have done?

halfpint1 — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 22:41:02 GMT

GenXmuse. The state could use some of the money and me. My husband and I started this when he was alive and the redemtion place was near. Now I have my son. Also I get some exercise walking since it is only a mall and 2-3 blocks away. I do not drive.

Re: What would you have done?

chiclets — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 22:49:09 GMT

Do not feel annoyed with the woman, feel blessed.

A stranger wanted to share with you. Most people do not share but this lady did. It was something she wanted to do, it meant something to her to do it.

Maybe you should think about keeping it. It was a gift to you, and would you like it if someone gave away a gift you gave to them?

It is your gift to do with as you want, and if it makes you feel better to give it to a shelter then that is your choice but do not do so because you feel angry or annoyed with the woman.

Keep it, smile, and think someone shared with me in the spirit of this blessed holiday season.