topic Re: Lending money in Community Chat

Lending money

Carmie — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:49:39 GMT

I received a call about an hour ago from from a distant friend of my DH and I. He asked if my DH was there and an I said no. So he said he needed to ask for a favor. I said what do you need?

He replied $5000! I quickly replied that we did not have $5000, but I could give him $200. He said, "thanks, but no thanks" he needed $5000.

He said he would call back later to speak with my DH. I texted my DH and asked him to call me ASAP. He is not allowed to use his cell at work, so I have to wait until he is on free time.

No how, no way are we giving him $5000. My DH is weaker than I am and he has a soft spot for people that I do not. Both this guy and his wife work, both make good money and they live high and beyond their means, IMO.

Now I have to wait for my DH to either call me or get home. I hope he is not going to consider lending money. I am also ticked that when I said "No" the friend said he was going to directly ask my DH. I can't believe the nerve of some people. We haven't seen this friend and his wife for at least two years. I don't think we will hear from this guy again if we lend him money or not.

Re: Lending money

ahoymate — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:54:29 GMT

"Lending $"? More like giving it away. Esp. under the circumstances you outlined.

Re: Lending money

wishmoon — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:54:30 GMT

Wow, be careful, this doesn't sound like a "friend." It sounds more like someone who made a choice and is in a jam calling acquaintences (you haven't seen him in quite a while). Evidently, his close friends have already turned him down.

Re: Lending money

Shelbelle — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:56:38 GMT

Money and the need for it will make people do and say strange things, never a good idea to lend it to anyone!! Unless, of course, you dont ever want to see it again!!

Re: Lending money

fthunt — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:56:31 GMT

Sounds like he needs...money for Bail

Re: Lending money

Cats3000 — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:05:57 GMT

@Carmie You were foolish. You should not have offered any money. If he calls back again to talk to your husband, he should be told to cease and desist immediately. Your husband should not offer any money. If the calls continue after that, you may need to talk to a lawyer about legal remedies against him. This has a very bad odor to it.

Re: Lending money

grandma2pkmh — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:01:36 GMT

@Carmie Judge Judy says if you can't afford to give money to someone don't loan it to them. Chances are you will never see the money again.

Re: Lending money

Witchy Woman — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:02:38 GMT

@Carmie

I think you already know what you need to do and you have done it.

You were kind to offer the $200, and the fact that he declined says it all.

If you lend him anything, it will likely never be repaid.

Hoping your DH stands strong against this kind of "friendship."

Re: Lending money

sidsmom — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:03:17 GMT

Like many referred upthread,

the word 'lend' only works when you sign official paperwork.
like a Bank with recourse.

Anything other than that?
Gift.

Re: Lending money

Carmie — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:04:35 GMT

@Cats3000 I would give anyone, friend, family and even some strangers who needed money what I could afford to lose. I was willing to give $200, no payback expected.

Oh, my DH isn't going to give him anything, or he will be moving in with him and since the guy refused my kind offer of $200, he's not getting a dime.

Re: Lending money

threecees — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:04:51 GMT

Guess the $200 is not good enough, can't find anybody else.

Thinks you are a bank.

Take the phone off the hook for the weekend!

Re: Lending money

Peaches McPhee — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:08:08 GMT

@Carmie , let us know how this turns out. Kudos to you for being strong.

Re: Lending money

GenXmuse — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:11:37 GMT

Saying she is foolish is pretty low. It's hard to know how to react when put on the spot and you wouldn't offer $200 if you couldn't spare it.

What IS foolish is suggesting you get a lawyer.

Re: Lending money

kitcat51 — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:13:21 GMT

What is the money for?

Re: Lending money

Lucky Charm — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:15:19 GMT

Does this guy know your husband's cell number?

What I would do is send many texts and calls so DH can see you're trying to get a hold of him.

Before he calls his old buddy back thinking it's just a chat.

What an awkward situation. I would hate answering the phone and being asked for money. No matter what amount. I guess he didn't say what the problem was. Either way, not good. $5K is a lot to ask for---especially from a friend.

Re: Lending money

Carmie — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:23:43 GMT

@kitcat51 wrote:
What is the money for?

I don't know...I didn't ask. i just said no.

Re: Lending money

CrazyDaisy — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:24:20 GMT

Would like to know more information before I rush to judge. While usually not quick to lend money, there may be a dire need.

Re: Lending money

Lindsays Grandma — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:27:49 GMT

I know you will stick to your guns, it's your husband I worry about. Under no circumstances should you and he lend that man any money. I doubt you will ever see a penny of it if you do. Good luck, hope your hubby says no.

Re: Lending money

Nightowlz — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:37:43 GMT

ITA with you. You already told him no so no way would I let my DH lend him the money. You know how it goes when you lend money you usually don't get it back.

I think I would have told the guy to go ahead & talk to your DH but you have already told him no & so will your DH.

I have already told DH if any of his family or anyone else calls asking for money to tell them NO. If it was a loan that would be paid back that would be different but I know we would never see a dime of it so we are not even going there.

Re: Lending money

Gorgf — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 18:35:58 GMT

I had a former co-worker borrow $50 which she paid back. A couple of years later she called and asked me if I could lend her $200 toward her and hubby mortgage as got a OWI. I knew this was her second so told her since she didnt learn the first time" NO. " Even though I think she would have paid it back, the reason was the issue. Never heard from her ever again. No loss.