topic Re: Chivalry in Community Chat

Chivalry

Karie2022 — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 23:05:50 GMT

I witnessed two very nice acts of chivalry by some gentlemen this week; maybe to some this is no big deal, but I have to say I rarely see this anymore, including in my own personal life with my own dh; an older gentleman got out of his car and grabbed his umbrella, it was pouring here the other day, and I watched him walk over to the other side of his car and hold the umbrella over his wife as she exited the car and they proceeded to walk into the store, the whole time holding the umbrella over his wife.

the other was a man holding the door open for his wife at a store and then waiting for me so I could enter as well...I guess I'm old fashioned, I love acts of chivalry and good manners...of course this goes both ways...it's nice when both sexes are well mannered and think of others....i try to tell my kids this frequently, look up from your phones, you never who you may be able to help one day...just my observations.😊

Re: Chivalry

Anonymous — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 23:11:32 GMT

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Re: Chivalry

blackhole99 — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 23:16:45 GMT

My husband is considerate like that and so is my son, I do see young men and children out and about on occasion with very good manners. Again, parents need to train their kids and maybe there should be an Etiquette course taught in school since the parents either don't have time or do not know any better themselves.

Re: Chivalry

BirkiLady — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 23:20:05 GMT

My husband always held the car door and store doors for me (not just in inclement weather). My son does that same for my DIL. My grandson is being raised to do the same for his mom, me, and his other grandmother. Doubt the umbrella has ever happened since none of us ever carry one!

Good manners are important from both sexes. Females need to be thoughtful, as well.

Re: Chivalry

Oznell — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 23:26:34 GMT

It's great to note and comment on acts of chivalry as you have, @Karie2022.! Helps counterbalance the other less desirable, sometimes churlish conduct we all come in contact with from time to time.

Good for you for noticing these quiet little acts!

Re: Chivalry

Drythe — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:00:49 GMT

@Karie2022

I vote YES!

Re: Chivalry

SunSprite — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:13:38 GMT

Those little random acts of thoughtfulness/kindness are the kind of things that can completely turn someone's day around.

And sometimes it's the person that witnesses it that finds their day suddenly brighter .

When my kids were growing up I used to tell them that being polite, kind, and well-mannered will open doors for you in ways you might not expect. Never underestimate the power of being thoughtful.

It's one of those really cool things that benefits the giver, and the recepient.

Re: Chivalry

smb3 — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:28:04 GMT

As a teacher, some of the young boys recently have held doors for me, even waited until I got up to the door. I thought, wow somebody raised you well. I always praise them and tell them what good manners, etc. It is so nice to see!

Re: Chivalry

Snowpuppy — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:31:02 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
These are just simple acts of everyday politeness, not chivalry. Chivalry, in my opinion, is sexist. Politeness is just everyday nice behavior.

And because this is the opinion of some women chivalry and it's cousin, gallantry is all but extinct.

I'll take that door opened for me, my young boss moving a heavy desk in my office, my BIL seated at the head of the holiday dinner table asking the young guys to please clear the dinner dishes.

Re: Chivalry

patbz — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:32:14 GMT

My Grands learned about opening doors in pre-school (and insisted on doing it whether you wanted them to or not.

Re: Chivalry

Cakers3 — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:36:44 GMT

@Snowpuppy wrote:
@Goldengate8361 wrote:
These are just simple acts of everyday politeness, not chivalry. Chivalry, in my opinion, is sexist. Politeness is just everyday nice behavior.
And because this is the opinion of some women chivalry and it's cousin, gallantry is all but extinct.

I'll take that door opened for me, my young boss moving a heavy desk in my office, my BIL seated at the head of the holiday dinner table asking the young guys to please clear the dinner dishes.

@Snowpuppy I have to agree with you. While the word "chivalry" is medieval it has evolved in today's world to mean polite, good manners, etc.

@Karie2022posted a nice story. It would great to just enjoy instead of being picked apart over a word.

And the OP DID say that good manners apply to both men and women.

For pity sake-there was a poster who felt Pat Sajak on "Wheel" was "sexist" because he would take the female contestants by the hand in the bonus round.

Re: Chivalry

pigletsmom — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:38:11 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
These are just simple acts of everyday politeness, not chivalry. Chivalry, in my opinion, is sexist. Politeness is just everyday nice behavior.

Chivalry isn't sexist. It means a man respects and honors a woman. or women in general for that matter.

Re: Chivalry

cherry — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:46:55 GMT

I am always happy to read this sort of thing. You raise you kids to do their best ,and after they are gone ,you wonder if any of it sunk in, when you are not around

My son told me a story that made me feel good. At one the places he lived ,a lady from another culture/country said to him, men should always go first. They were waiting at the elevator. My son said ,mam, I was raised to always let a lady go first ,and my mom would kill me, if she ever found out I didn't do this, so please, allow me to treat you ,the way I was brought up. The lady smiled at him and got into the elevator first

Re: Chivalry

Goldengate8361 — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:50:08 GMT

@pigletsmom people (women AND men) should respect and honor each other. It's sexist to think there's something special about the way men should treat or "honor" women. There's nothing more beautiful than equality. Chivalry is inherently wrong. Being nice and polite (everyone) is always cool!

Re: Chivalry

mspatmac — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:53:10 GMT

I experienced a wonderful act of kindless while picking up a few things at my local convenience store. a couple of 6 packs of coke as well as a few other things. Oviously I would need two trips when a young man with a big smile picked up my coke and offered to help me out to my car and put them in. the car was right outside the door and he fooled me out and put them in the car. I thanked him and he replied, "It's my pleasure Ma'am, have a nice day" I will say in my Texas town this is not really unusual where a smile and hello to all goes a long way.

Re: Chivalry

Anonymous — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:57:51 GMT

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Re: Chivalry

Goldengate8361 — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 01:00:51 GMT

@cherry your post is inappropriate. Diversity of thought is a good thing. It appears you might be uncomfortable with ideas that differ from your own. I wish you the best.....

Re: Chivalry

cherry — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 01:01:57 GMT

No ,I just don't care for party poopers..and those that rain on other people's parades

Re: Chivalry

Cakers3 — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 01:03:48 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
@pigletsmom people (women AND men) should respect and honor each other. It's sexist to think there's something special about the way men should treat or "honor" women. There's nothing more beautiful than equality. Chivalry is inherently wrong. Being nice and polite (everyone) is always cool!

@Goldengate8361 So if a man holds a door open for you - meaning a stranger - would you simply say "Thank you" -as one would do if one has good manners or.........

would you lecture him for being "sexist" and not having "diversity in thought".

Just wondering because it would be one or the other.

"Thank you" or........

"You are a sexist person".

Re: Chivalry

Goldengate8361 — Wed, 06 Nov 2019 01:03:53 GMT

@cherry no parade here....just a conversation.