topic Re: How would you feel? in Community Chat

How would you feel?

Pqfan — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:45:47 GMT

My boyfriend is friends with his ex.

Not thrilled about that but whatever.

He lost something in the house and I went to look for it.

I found a bag with fake pearls.

I said jokingly.

I see you bought your other girlfriend some jewelery.

He said I don't have another girlfriend.

But ___ likes pearls.

Pick whatever you want out of the bag.

I said I don't want any.

A couple of weeks ago I found broke ones in a bag that he said he is fixing for her.

I don't think he is cheating but I feel like "carp"

Like even though they aren't together I feel like their friendship is better than my relationship.

He gave me a "carppy" looking bracelet from the same company but the pearls were nice.

ALL opinions welcome.

Re: How would you feel?

Imaoldhippie — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:24:54 GMT

Run for the hills and dont look back.

Re: How would you feel?

Pqfan — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:27:26 GMT

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
Run for the hills and dont look back.

I want to but I don't have anywhere to go at the moment.

Re: How would you feel?

Pqfan — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:30:25 GMT

I feel so bad.

Re: How would you feel?

cherry — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:33:13 GMT

I don't honestly know. I can see you are upset, and I don't want to advise you wrongly. You need to do what you feel is best, because ,you are the one this is going to effect

Does he act sneaky? Is he truthful? Is he kind to you, or does he use you, or take advantage of you?

Re: How would you feel?

chrystaltree — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:35:40 GMT

Run! And be thankful you aren't married to the dog. Perhaps he isn't sleeping with her, perhaps he is. He still is very much emotionally involved with her, there's a bond there and he likes it that way. Is that what you want? A relationship with 3 people in it as someone very famous once said? He isn't going to break it off with her so no good can come of your relationship with him. Learn from the experience and end it with him.

Re: How would you feel?

Preds — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:36:11 GMT

I wouldn't like it. I would like to believe that he was "just friends" with his ex, but I'd also tell him I'm not comfortable with it. He needs to respect your feelings since he is with you.

Would he be happy if you continued to "see" your ex and buy him little "gifts"?

My ex and I get gifts for each other, but we share a grown daughter and are determined to be friends. My DH and my ex are friends so it works for us, but we are a dysfuntial bunch of people.

Keeping you in my thoughts and heart sweetie.

Re: How would you feel?

sidsmom — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:37:24 GMT

Ohhhh...your boyfriend.

I was thinking boy as in son.

Re: How would you feel?

Imaoldhippie — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:37:34 GMT

This advise is like closing the barn door after the horse got out, but do not ever let yourself be in the position you are in. No where to go, no money, no job, etc and be dependant on a man. Ok enough preaching.

Do you not have family, friends, co-workers,etc that you can stay with until you get everything together?

You know what to do, start making plans. I wish you the best and God bless.

@Pqfan

Re: How would you feel?

cherry — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:37:34 GMT

@Pqfan you need to make plans now just in case..

Re: How would you feel?

Suzeecat — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:38:01 GMT

In my experience I have found that if I have doubts about something or someone there is usually a very good reason for those doubts. This doesn't sound like it will end well. Whether or not he still has feeling for his ex, you resent the relationship at any level. Can you (do you want to) honestly live with that resentment, or do you see any way to resolve your feelings?

Re: How would you feel?

chrystaltree — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:40:15 GMT

@Pqfan wrote:

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
Run for the hills and dont look back.
I want to but I don't have anywhere to go at the moment.

Then start saving, get a second job if you have to. Do what you have to do to dump him and get your own place. This is why couples should not live together until they have a real commitment have have dated for a long time.

Re: How would you feel?

sidsmom — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:40:34 GMT

He said I don't have another girlfriend.

Believe him.

Then talk to him.

His reaction will guide you further.

Re: How would you feel?

Pqfan — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:41:17 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
Run! And be thankful you aren't married to the dog. Perhaps he isn't sleeping with her, perhaps he is. He still is very much emotionally involved with her, there's a bond there and he likes it that way. Is that what you want? A relationship with 3 people in it as someone very famous once said? He isn't going to break it off with her so no good can come of your relationship with him. Learn from the experience and end it with him.

@chrystaltreeThis is how I feel. Even though I don't think he is cheating, I feel like I am not alone in my relationship.

I don't know any other woman that would go for this.

If I had a place to go I would have been long gone.

Re: How would you feel?

cherry — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:43:22 GMT

If there is a womans shelter near you, you might be able to get some advice from them, about a place to stay, that you can afford..Do you have any family or friends that could help you?

Re: How would you feel?

goldensrbest — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:46:46 GMT

You said your boy is friends with his ex, are you speaking of your son? Not clear.I see i was not the only one that thought son.

Re: How would you feel?

Pqfan — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:47:17 GMT

@sidsmom wrote:
Ohhhh...your boyfriend.
I was thinking boy as in son.

Oops.I left out a word lol!

I fixed it.

Re: How would you feel?

Mom2Dogs — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 19:02:28 GMT

@Pqfan ...keep your thoughts to your self (as in not telling him). ..but start planning, saving now if you feel strongly enough about leaving him....I am a firm believer in not oversharing when trying to make a break, some times things do not go well once you have shared.

edited to fix typo

Re: How would you feel?

goldensrbest — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:48:51 GMT

Do some looking around, keep your eyes,and ears open.

Re: How would you feel?

SilleeMee — Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:49:39 GMT

There's a reason why we have gut instincts...go with it.