topic Re: 3 weddings this fall in Community Chat

3 weddings this fall

GinzTonic — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 01:38:54 GMT

..in a row . I have three weddings to attend this fall on three weekends in a row. 2 are family 2nd weddings and one is a friends son . All require some travel . The 2nd weddings are big affairs . Am I giving a gift $ , as if it were the first wedding ??

Re: 3 weddings this fall

Love my grandkids — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 02:21:19 GMT

@GinzTonic It's up to you. When I attended a bride's 2nd wedding I gave a very modest gift.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

Anonymous032819 — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 02:35:23 GMT

It's up to you.

There are no rules on whether to give a gift or not for a second wedding.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

libbyannE — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 02:56:54 GMT

Your call. How close you are to the couples is part of the equation.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

queendiva — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 11:35:18 GMT

If you are attending the wedding then a gift is in order. Your call as to how much spent. Bride's second marriage, grooms or both?

Re: 3 weddings this fall

peachesncream — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 16:59:56 GMT

According to etiquette, gifts aren’t required for a second wedding (if you gave a gift at the first). But I think it’s a nice gesture. It’s a way of saying, “We’re happy for you, and we wish you well!”

Gifts for second weddings tend to be more modest IMO.

A gift card to a favorite restaurant might be a good choice. Or something that fits in with their hobbies.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

CelticCrafter — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 17:06:04 GMT

@peachesncream wrote:

According to etiquette, gifts aren’t required for a second wedding (if you gave a gift at the first). But I think it’s a nice gesture. It’s a way of saying, “We’re happy for you, and we wish you well!”

Gifts for second weddings tend to be more modest IMO.

A gift card to a favorite restaurant might be a good choice. Or something that fits in with their hobbies.

I never say this but that's kind of not fair if it's not a second wedding for both of them.

If it were me and I went to the first wedding, I wouldn't go to the second.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

chrystaltree — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 17:06:57 GMT

You would give whatever you want to give. I give money in gift card form now because it's easier and that's what most couples want. Also most couples today live together, sometimes for years, before they get married and they already have a complete home. I don't make a distinction between 2nd weddings unless the 1st wedding was just a short time ago and we gave a really big gift. Which hasn't actually happened to us. Last Fall, my dear friend's daughter who is close to both my girls got married for the 3rd time within 8 years. I've known that girl since she was 4 so we we were very generous the first two times down the aisle but we did draw the line at the 3rd wedding. We gave them a lovely pitcher/glasses set that I found at Marshall's.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

stevieb — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 17:15:31 GMT

I avoid weddings as much as possible. When I do go, it seems some sort of gift is somewhat obligatory. For second weddings, the gift is often a token gift, sometimes it's something a bit more for the person I know that invited me and less for the couple. In as much as these second weddings are 'big affairs' the assumption might be that these couples are in a place in life where they don't require the usual newlywed accouterments... As for the son of the friend, looks like you're stuck with selecting something from the wedding gift registry should you decide to go.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

peachesncream — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 18:03:00 GMT

@CelticCrafter wrote:
@peachesncream wrote:

According to etiquette, gifts aren’t required for a second wedding (if you gave a gift at the first). But I think it’s a nice gesture. It’s a way of saying, “We’re happy for you, and we wish you well!”

Gifts for second weddings tend to be more modest IMO.

A gift card to a favorite restaurant might be a good choice. Or something that fits in with their hobbies.
I never say this but that's kind of not fair if it's not a second wedding for both of them.
If it were me and I went to the first wedding, I wouldn't go to the second.

Your point (about a wedding possibly being a first wedding for one of them) is valid. I think there are more good reasons to give a wedding gift than to not give one, no matter the etiquette.

I've only been to a few second weddings. Most subsequent weddings - at least in our families - have been quiet affairs or elopements. DH and I have always sent a gift anyway. It's a sign of goodwill, I guess you could say.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

GinzTonic — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 18:05:15 GMT

@queendiva wrote:
If you are attending the wedding then a gift is in order. Your call as to how much spent. Bride's second marriage, grooms or both?

Second wedding for both. Went to the brides first one . They are doing an elaborate wedding as if it were the 1st time . The dress is white , there is an aisle & a bachelorette party that spans a weekend away. (No joke). Thankfully I will be at wedding the weekend of that . Thanks for all the responses , if were my 2nd or 3rd time , I would specify no presents.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

jonbon — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 21:51:35 GMT

@stevieb wrote:
I avoid weddings as much as possible. When I do go, it seems some sort of gift is somewhat obligatory. For second weddings, the gift is often a token gift, sometimes it's something a bit more for the person I know that invited me and less for the couple. In as much as these second weddings are 'big affairs' the assumption might be that these couples are in a place in life where they don't require the usual newlywed accouterments... As for the son of the friend, looks like you're stuck with selecting something from the wedding gift registry should you decide to go.

Why would one be stuck purchasing from a registry?

Re: 3 weddings this fall

tsavorite — Mon, 12 Aug 2019 22:02:29 GMT

Just wait for all the baby showers and sprinkles to follow...more and more gifts!! This seems to be the new thing....a shower for every baby now too.

Re: 3 weddings this fall

GinzTonic — Tue, 13 Aug 2019 01:04:07 GMT

@tsavorite wrote:
Just wait for all the baby showers and sprinkles to follow...more and more gifts!! This seems to be the new thing....a shower for every baby now too.

Don’t get me going on that....that’s my dh side of the family. We didn’t even have them in my family till after baby was born. It was only after my superstitious grandmother passed , did we have showers !!!