topic At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears in Community Chat

At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Anonymous032819 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:28:50 GMT

Today, as I was driving home, I had the radio on, and "Hotel California" came on.

I was instantly taken back to when I had heard that song playing on the radio in March of this year.

I had traveled to visit my dad at the nursing home that he was in (it was the first place that would take him), and it was lunch time.

I sat with my dad as he nibbled on his food, and this song came on.

It was the last time that we had lunch together.

He died five days later.

The first time I heard it after he passed, I was sobbing, today, I felt sad, bt no tears.

I guess that means that I'm healing.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

QVCkitty1 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:32:06 GMT

I totally understand, my mom loved opera, but her favorite pop song was “ Moon River “, and when I hear it I just sob. Music does it like nothing else.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Mary Bailey — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:34:53 GMT

I totally get it.

The first time I heard "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton I was post-partum coming home from aerobics. I was sobbing by the time I got out of the car. It freaked out DH. I still have a hard time when it comes on.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

matty liz — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:35:10 GMT

Can't imagine anything more precious. You were there and that was so special. It is good to recall and realize how much it meant.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Witchy Woman — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:36:36 GMT

@Anonymous032819

It does get easier, but never goes away.

I remember waving to my dad as he went into surgery.

That was my last contact with him.

I can think about it now, many years later, and not cry immediately. But I still cry.

You just learn to live with the happier memories, or try to, anyway.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Veridoc — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:51:14 GMT

@Anonymous032819:

A girl is never too old to be a daddy's girl. My dad was blind for several years before he passed and had to be placed in nursing home. After his passing, every time I heard the song "I can only imagine, what my eyes will see"....I would fall in a sobbing heap. You have a wonderful memory to hold in your heart. Just know that everytime you hear that song and sing it, he is singing with you.

Sending you friendship and (((HUGS)))

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Jordan2 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:52:02 GMT

It's funny how a song or movie can conjure up certain memories, some good, some bad.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

1Snickers — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 21:59:07 GMT

We would go to 4th of July fireworks and they would play the 1812 Overture. They shot real canons.

He had a record and the speakers were in the living room under my bed. He would play it Sunday mornings and it would wake me up. He would really laugh.

When I watch fireworks and it’s played I think of Papa and smile!

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

chiclets — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 22:28:20 GMT

My heart weeps for you.

Sobbing, no tears, doesn't necessarily mean you are healing, it means you LOVE, and this love will ever be within your heart and soul.

Healing is a word I can not relate to, acceptance is one that I can.

I have learnt to accept a loss but no, my heart has never healed.

Some do say it becomes easier over time. There is nothing strange about crying when you remember things and that can happen anywhere. Love does hurt. Memories are the shadows that stay with us.

I am not ashamed to admit I weep concerning my losses. I have even telephoned someone who is no longer alive during a moment I needed a hug and then realized what I had done.

You have had a gift, a beautiful love between father and daughter. You will smile, you will laugh, and you will weep.

Today was difficult. This memory made you sob, tomorrow's may have you laughing.

You feel and always will love him, and that is what it means to be human.

Be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Tina From Georgia — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 22:31:05 GMT

Thank you so much for sharing that sweet precious moment with us. God always has a plan. That day you and your dad shared something that no one can take away from you. I know there are others out there that have gone through similar moments..treasure them..think of them and most of all pray for therm. God Bless and Take Care

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

dex — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 22:54:04 GMT

@Anonymous032819 Everytime you hear that song it could be a message from your dad.I am sure that he is happy that you are able to think of him and the good memories without all of those tears of sadness.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

spiderw — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:06:41 GMT

I think we all can relate to hearing a song and having a memory whether happy or sad. You do heal in time but you never forget, the pain of grief may ebb but the tears still come and go.

My dad passed in early November of 1965 and I remember how my mom loved the song, Autumn Leaves by Roger Williams. While it is an instrumental (piano piece), there are words. When I heard the words I knew why she related it to my dad. To this day I still shed tears when I hear that song for my mom and dad.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

NicksmomESQ — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:15:19 GMT

Whenever my mom called me, as soon as I answered the phone she would sing “I just called to say I love you” by Stevie Wonder. Every time I hear the song I start to cry. It’s been over 20 years & the song still gets to me. But in a good way .It brings back memories of our closeness.

My son just asked me if I’d mind if the song is played at his wedding next year,”in tribute to grandma”. I think she would love it!!

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

ZoetheCat — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:19:45 GMT

@spiderw wrote:
I think we all can relate to hearing a song and having a memory whether happy or sad. You do heal in time but you never forget, the pain of grief may ebb but the tears still come and go.

My dad passed in early November of 1965 and I remember how my mom loved the song, Autumn Leaves by Roger Williams. While it is an instrumental (piano piece), there are words. When I heard the words I knew why she related it to my dad. To this day I still shed tears when I hear that song for my mom and dad.

Autumn Leaves is such a beautiful song @spiderw. The version by Eva Cassidy is incredibly moving. It was a favorite of my former boss’s wife, and when she died several years ago, it was played at her funeral. She died in late October, and the funeral was held on a crisp beautiful autumn day here in New England. There wasn’t a dry eye in the church. Eva Cassidy herself died in her early 30s from cancer. So very sad.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:30:12 GMT

My father died when I was 20.

I still cry if I hear Judy Collins' song "My Father", but I don't hear it so much these days.

I do see my father in my dreams and have woken up crying.

We heal, but we have scars.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

stellabystarlight — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:37:44 GMT

My late mother loved the song " I Just Called to Say I love You" by Stevie Wonder. Everytime I hear that song played, my mind goes back to the time when she would sing the lyrics. I don't cry but I get very emotional!

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

on the bay — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:53:30 GMT

@spiderw -

I think of my father too when I hear Autumn Leaves-one of his favorite songs

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

QueenDanceALot — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 00:09:31 GMT

@on the bay wrote:
@spiderw -
I think of my father too when I hear Autumn Leaves-one of his favorite songs

IMO, the best recording ever of Autumn Leaves. Cannonball Adderley on sax is so sublime.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tguu4m38U78

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Kachina624 — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 00:00:42 GMT

The song that gets me is "Time to Say Goodbye". I said it too many times during one short period until I was the only one left.

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

henderson — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 00:07:35 GMT

Song by Mercy Me? We played that song with a video at our son's memorial. I always cry when it comes on the radio.

@Veridoc wrote:
@Anonymous032819:

A girl is never too old to be a daddy's girl. My dad was blind for several years before he passed and had to be placed in nursing home. After his passing, every time I heard the song "I can only imagine, what my eyes will see"....I would fall in a sobbing heap. You have a wonderful memory to hold in your heart. Just know that everytime you hear that song and sing it, he is singing with you.
Sending you friendship and (((HUGS)))