topic Re: Exchange of Peace in Community Chat

Exchange of Peace

occasionalrain — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 19:27:11 GMT

Some time ago the Exchange of Peace was changed from a general verbal response to a physical one where parishioners either hugged or would shake hands with those sitting beside, in front, and in back of them.

I don't care for the change.

I have to think there are some who avoid services because of it. Some may have arthritis in their hands, are concerned about illness, or just, like me, dislike the break in the flow. It seems like an intermission to some who then have a bit of chat with their neighbors. In my church, it's evolved from just exchanges with those close by to spilling out into the aisle and a general exchange all around.

As far as I know, it wasn't voted upon by individual parishes. It wasn't in mine.

What your thoughts, do you like it? Do you think it adds or detracts?

Re: Exchange of Peace

Travone — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 19:34:57 GMT

The congregation has dwindled in the churches in my area. It seems now most people just acknowledge others in the church with a general wave or peace symbol and a smile. Those sitting close to each other may still shake hands.

Years ago when living down south they full out hug the others nearby. I was shocked the first time it happened to me. I had to warn my northern parents the first time they came to visit me so they would be prepared.

Re: Exchange of Peace

CelticCrafter — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 19:36:44 GMT

It was out of control. People reaching back two and three rows to shake hands with every person within arms length.

I didn't like being touched by strangers, didn't like touching strangers.

I don't know what it's like anymore as I am no longer a church goer.

Re: Exchange of Peace

sashamatthews — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 19:43:31 GMT

I never liked this practice. I stopped doing it some time ago.

Re: Exchange of Peace

Pqfan — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:29:30 GMT

It detracts. It wouldn’t stop me from going to church(when I was still attending) but I hate when they asked people to turn and do whatever to your fellow parishioner. Turn and give him a high five!🤣

Re: Exchange of Peace

Pqfan — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 19:58:16 GMT

@CelticCrafter wrote:
It was out of control. People reaching back two and three rows to shake hands with every person within arms length.

I didn't like being touched by strangers, didn't like touching strangers.

I don't know what it's like anymore as I am no longer a church goer.

Right! Hands coming out from everywhere lol🤣

Re: Exchange of Peace

occasionalrain — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:00:38 GMT

Whomever thought it a good idea didn't consider that while some would love it, I don't know even one, others would stop attending to avoid it.

Re: Exchange of Peace

proudlyfromNJ — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:02:00 GMT

I don’t like it at all. The only time I have seen this is at funeral services in the Catholic Church. They say Peace be with you. I just mumble something.

I have not been to my Protestant Church in years so I don’t know if they do it.

Re: Exchange of Peace

Bri369 — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:02:27 GMT

I don't care for it at all.

Re: Exchange of Peace

grandma r — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:06:28 GMT

I don't think it's necessary either. I will acknowledge those around me with "peace be with you" as we were instructed to say. Some take it further with hugs, handshakes, or kisses. No thank you!!! In fact, during the winter months this part is skipped.

I still remember attending Mass when everything was in Latin. It seems to me there was more reverence then too. Changes to the translations of various parts of the Mass don't really make sense to me.

Re: Exchange of Peace

gidgetgh — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:15:46 GMT

Full disclosure. I’ve been to church twice in like 350 years. Before I was married, I went pretty regularly. Ok, well kind of maybe regularly. Ok....I went occasionally.

In the Methodist church back when I went (even years and years ago when I went faithfully) we never did this at all. Then one day I went, to the same church, and we’re sitting there and then....and then....there it was! I was thinking “what the heck is this?!!! I literally had no idea. It shocked me as I had no idea what it was or that it was coming. I was very uncomfortable. Almost get me out of here uncomfortable.

I am not a fan at all. Not in the germaphobe sense, but in the it comes out of nowhere and it’s loud and chaotic and then boom, it’s over sense. And then there’s always the, depending on where you’re sitting, people on either side might turn to the left or to the right and you’re standing there by yourself. AWKWARD. And I hate awkward.

Re: Exchange of Peace

occasionalrain — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:16:12 GMT

If no one likes it, why are we still doing it? Someone should bring it up at the next annual meeting and ask for a vote. It would have to be a secret vote, no one would want to be seen voting against peace.

Re: Exchange of Peace

bikerbabe — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:29:08 GMT

I DO like it. I sometimes feel like if we took it more seriously maybe we would actually treat each other better after we walked out the door of the church and back into our every day lives.

Re: Exchange of Peace

Cakers3 — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:39:25 GMT

MONK

Re: Exchange of Peace

Bri369 — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:40:59 GMT

At our church, immediate family members have been kissing and/or hugging. That, I'm fine with.

I usually shake hands with the people behind me or in front of me. It's always awkward because I feel like I'm unintentionally avoiding people.

Re: Exchange of Peace

Krimpette — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:43:46 GMT

We've been doing that at my church for years. I have no problem with it. In fact, I'd miss it if it was stopped.

Re: Exchange of Peace

ValuSkr — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:45:58 GMT

This is an interesting question - I haven't seen it discussed before. I don't care for it, but haven't viewed it as controversial. You're right that, in some churches, peace-passing has turned into an intermission of sorts. Thinking about it, it's just one of many things that are discouraging about church.

Re: Exchange of Peace

Cakers3 — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:48:29 GMT

@bikerbabe wrote:
I DO like it. I sometimes feel like if we took it more seriously maybe we would actually treat each other better after we walked out the door of the church and back into our every day lives.

@bikerbabe You make a wonderful point but unfortunately many people are not comfortable with it-for a myriad of reasons. Hands hurting from arthritis, flu season, just not comfortable touching strangers, etc.

People are going to treat other people regardless of participation. I agree that many just dash out-look at the parking lot where people will not even let somebody in line to exit. So much for treating others better.

If it makes just one person pause, we could hope for a pay it forward scenario but I don't hold my breath. If every person attending services had the right reasons to be there, it would make more sense. Yet we all know that isn't true.

The best we can do is to try to be better people regardless of some peace exchange in church. If we are examples in real life, that will have more weight with others than the peace exchange.

jmoymmv

Re: Exchange of Peace

alarmclock — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:50:44 GMT

I am 57 and Catholic. We have always had a handshake. Nothing new for me.

Re: Exchange of Peace

esmerelda — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 20:51:11 GMT

I don’t like it and never have. In any form. It’s staged/orchestrated and IMO that makes it phony. It’s socializing. Wait until the service is over. Or get there early enough before the service starts.