topic Re: Problem Student on University Campus in Community Chat

Problem Student on University Campus

beach-mom — Fri, 10 May 2019 01:59:37 GMT

I'm going to get a little personal, but I really would like your advice.

There is a student at DS' university. He dropped out in his senior year (this past year). As alumni, both of his parents are very active there. The past week he has been going around saying something big is coming and things like, "you have no idea what's going to happen."

DS knew him. He dated one of DS' good friends their freshman and sophomore years. She broke up with him. She graduated last year and works in another state. DS saw him from time to time, but they were not friends and weren't in the same department.

A few days ago he apparently stalked a girl DS knows and was banned from campus. Last night DS was in a study group that was meeting at someone's apartment. They moved the meeting on campus to be safer because they knew he was banned. He walked in - while they were meeting, and started making more vague threats.

One of the girls left and called the police. They came and questioned him for about 20 minutes and let him go home. They then told the students there was nothing they could do because he hadn't "done" anything. And the ban from campus had not gone into full effect yet because it has to be approved by the chief of police.

The kids are in the middle of finals. DS can't concentrate, and the news last night didn't help. He said he didn't sleep all night. He lives off campus.

I don't know what to tell him. The police are very aware of the situation, and I'm sure the university is watching things carefully too.

I'd like to think this is just a kid trying to get attention, but with everything going on, how do you know? I keep telling myself his parents are very connected to the university and to the whole community.

Do you think I should contact the university, or just let the police handle things?

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

RoughDraft — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:12:00 GMT

I'd not only contact the university (from the top down), "remind" the police force and then contact your local TV stations about what's not being done.

eta: How about also contacting his parents: Add local and state politicians and anyone else you can think of.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Cakers3 — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:09:57 GMT

If the university is watching things and the police have been notified then what would you notify the university?

Seems both are aware of this situation by what you have posted.

I understand your concern so do what you think is best.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

roeroe1005 — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:22:23 GMT

Yes, I would definitely contact the university. I don't care whether or not they know or care what's going on. Your son is on that campus and has had some contact with him. Nothing wrong with letting them know you are very concerned.

The fact that his parents are very involved/active with the school tells me this situation may just be blown off.

I would remind the police too. I know they can't do anything about him saying "you'll see", but as we've seen the last week, stranger things have happened.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

happycat — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:25:58 GMT

If it were me, I think I would contact the school and tell them of my concerns. I'm sorry, but we can't be too careful in times like these. I wonder if this young mans parents know of his activities, and what I will call his veiled threats?

Every week there seems to be another school shooting. Why, why, would anyone mentally healthy make a veiled threat this day in age? I feel for those kids trying to study in this situation.

I'd be so upset if I were you.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Lion — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:36:11 GMT

How did he know where the study group had moved its meeting?

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

FancyPhillyshopper — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:46:16 GMT

Safety, health and welfare are always the priority.

Your responsibility is to inform the school your son and his friends do not feel safe and the school must take action immediately.

Call as many contacts as you believe are necessary to fully alert all to this issue.

The student has dropped out right before finishing school, so may have multiple issues such as depression, hopelessness, and anger, especially with the girlfirend break-up. Because his parents have "connections," the student may feel he can not live up to their ideals

The fact that the student is making verbal threats everywhere is a huge warning flag.

The fact that the police "are aware" does not necessarily mean that anyone is any safer.

The mental health clinic of the school should meet with this student and his family as soon as possible.

Addtionally, you should advise your son and friends to not attend any gatherings which could be accessible to this individual.

I regret that your family must go through this diifficult experience.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Marp — Fri, 10 May 2019 02:49:41 GMT

Since your son and the others aware of this individual feel he could be a threat to the university their suspicions should be reported to the FBI as a possible terroristic threat.

You can find the information for the appropriate field office here: https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

mom2four0418 — Fri, 10 May 2019 03:00:18 GMT

@Marp wrote:
Since your son and the others aware of this individual feel he could be a threat to the university their suspicions should be reported to the FBI as a possible terroristic threat.

You can find the information for the appropriate field office here: https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices

I agree. I feel confident that the FBI will take this threat more seriously than the university.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Love my grandkids — Fri, 10 May 2019 03:03:29 GMT

@beach-mom YES! Were it me, I'd be rattling EVERY single chain I could think of! Report it vehemently to the school, "bother" the police, try to contact the chief to get him to OK the ban, go to the local press and local TV.

There was another school shooting just this week. I'd be putting the "active" in pro-active, you darn right I would!

Contact the local office of the FBI as someone else stated.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Drythe — Fri, 10 May 2019 03:09:08 GMT

@beach-mom

Absolutely, I would call everyone I could think of Starting with a Brief Courtesy Call to his Parents. I would tell them exactly what your plans are. No negotiating, no waiting for them to 'do something', or 'take care of this'.

Then I would call the city police, the State Bureau of Investigation, and The FBI. I would zip right on past the Campus Cops, because in my mind they have already dropped the ball, but do let the other authorities know that they have been notified.

I send you All Best Wishes for the Safety of your DS.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Lilysmom — Fri, 10 May 2019 09:13:51 GMT

@beach-mom , is it possible to move your DS temporarily on campus for the short time that is left in the school year? That would be my first move. If the offender is banned from the school that may give your son a better feeling of more security.

Then I would be getting into it with school officials and police. Also consider contact political representatives in the area. I would complain loud and long and do so verbally and in writing. Keep the pressure on til school is over. Good luck. It is hard to have such concerns playing on your mind.

Also, if you feel it is a legitimate concern, investigate your DS finishing academic requirements remotely from your home or somewhere else you deem to be a safe location.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

cherry — Fri, 10 May 2019 09:07:11 GMT

Do what makes you comfortable. I think it is so vaguely worded, he is being cagey. He might not have any violent acts in mind, just an attempt to scare people

I would contact the university president first.

Depending on what he said , the FBI might already be involved. It is a crime to make threats on social media..I am not sure if what he did is in the same category, but he needs to be watched

Even if he is banned it doesn't mean he won't enter the campus.

It might be one of those grey areas where the police have their hands tied, because he didn't actually threaten violence

Good luck

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

CalminHeart — Fri, 10 May 2019 09:45:04 GMT

Call the police! A lot of shooters give these kind of clues ahead of time.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

CrazyDaisy — Fri, 10 May 2019 10:05:50 GMT

All schools now have procedures for reporting and handling these situations. Sounds like everyone involved has been reporting and this guy is likely being watched and investigated.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Greeneyedlady21 — Fri, 10 May 2019 10:46:09 GMT

I would call the local FBI office asap. He sounds very dangerous. Better safe than sorry.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

Montana — Fri, 10 May 2019 11:57:13 GMT

If I were in your shoes, I would contact the university President, local news outlets, state and congressional representatives, the FBI and even higher up.

This is a very scary situation.

ETA: I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

scatcat — Fri, 10 May 2019 12:13:56 GMT

I’m confused

You just said the police and university are very aware of the situation. And you’re asking if you should call the police and the university to notify them of the situation?

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

cherry — Fri, 10 May 2019 12:16:18 GMT

@scatcat I think she needs reassurance, and it is up to the university to supply it.

Re: Problem Student on University Campus

CrazyDaisy — Fri, 10 May 2019 12:21:52 GMT

@cherry wrote:
@scatcat I think she needs reassurance, and it is up to the university to supply it.

The University nor the police are going to compromise any investigation by providing any details.

The best you will get is "we are aware of the situation". She already knows that.