topic Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation) in Community Chat

What would you have done? (puppy situation)

SahmIam — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 17:58:17 GMT

Sit back. It's not a short story. This incident took place over the past few days; I found out the end result about a half hour ago.

Dear Friend has a son who is engaged. Been engaged for the past 8 years. Fiance is of a different culture than he; this has caused issues (some big ones) over the years. Son is a doormat; be in it physical labor, money, paying her bills and then needing money from Dear Friend to cover his bills, etc. Dear Friend has helped financially in the past but is getting tired of it and on occasion will vent to me or ask advice. Son is 29, btw.

Son works full time, goes to school (12 credits) and has a side business; he's a hard worker and all who know him, know this. Fiance's oldest brother (there are 9 children) runs all the family business and the parents now sit back, dote on the grandchildren and bow to him for all decisions. Oldest brother has 5 kids. They wanted a dog. It so happens that Dear Friend's Son has a good friend who bred Golden Doodles and a litter a few months ago. One pup left, a male who is 6 months. After this litter was born and weaned, she had her female spayed and won't be breeding again as her job is relocating her and her dog has had 4 litters; she's done breeding as well. Because she knew Son, because she is moving next week and because she needed to home the pup, she gave Son a GREAT deal on the pup: $350 instead of $1500- $2000. All shots, papers, etc. Son drove a hour to pick him up and bring him to the family to meet; the kids loved him, money was exchanged and he paid his friend. Son also picked up leash, harness, food, toys, bed, everything for the dog and paid for it as, it's "what you do when you're family" he told Dear Friend. This happened on 3/24.

Yesterday Dear Friend called and told me the poop hit the fan over the pup. No crate, they allowed the dog to run loose when no one was home. Clothing, shoes, furniture...destroyed. The back garden...destroyed (digging). The pup is kinda house-trained but...no one home to take him out so pee and poo all over the place when they come home. They call the Son and told him to get rid of the dog. NOW.

He called his friend and asked if she would buy back the dog. NO.

He asked Dear Friend if he would buy the dog. NO.

Remember, the Son works full time and goes to school. They want him to take care of all arrangements and PAY for it as well. The night before last, they left the dog outside all day and all night; cops were called due to howling and barking. Family told cops to take dog and get rid of it. Cops said Family would have to call Animal Control. Son is trying to contact Rescues, find someone to take the pup during his lunch break, after work, etc. Dear Friend asked me if he should take the dog even though his apartment doesn't allow pets and he travels for work. I said no, this is not your problem, hell it really isn't your sons' problem. He agreed but cares about animals. "You do what you feel you should and CAN do." I said.

Found out this morning that Family dropped the pup off at Animal Control claiming it bit young children and was therefore a danger. They want Son to pay them back the money they paid for the pup, money for gas for driving and money they didn't make by not going to work.

And he DID.

THEN the Friend who sold him/them the pup called a few hours later to say she found someone who will take him. She is LIVID about the situation. Can't he call to see where they dropped him off? Yes and he has. No return calls as of 30 minutes ago.

No, I don't know where they dropped him off; I don't know where they live, I've never met the fiance. I'm just disgusted by the entire situation. I mean, WHO ACTS LIKE THIS?!

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Sooner — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:12:19 GMT

Stay out of it? Far far far away from all who are involved and let them sort it out? Watch a movie? Read a good book?

Am I confused or is the OP not a party to all this nonsense? It is a long tale and I sort of lost track of who is who and did what to whom. . .

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Bri369 — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:13:44 GMT

It seems very involved.

I wouldn't involve myself in any of this at all.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Marp — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:15:18 GMT

I would love to comment on several points in your post @SahmIam but I would not only be banned from Q, I'd be banned from the entire Internet.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Kitlynn — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:19:35 GMT

Sounds like the son needs to run not walk away from this "engagement". The dog really deserves a good home and I am sure the rescue people would be more than happy to find him one. Sounds like a sad situation all the way round.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Glittergal — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:23:47 GMT

My advice is to run from people who would treat a person and a puppy this way. It's wrong--especially to LIE about the dog biting a child. Now, the puppy will likley be killed because of this. Few organizations will rehome a biting dog, and this innocent puppy will lose his life because of a lie. Stay away from liars and cheaters.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Daludog — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:26:11 GMT

I live in Ca and would love to take a golden doodle. I lost mine about 6 months ago. Please help the poor puppy, it is an innocent victim. Animal control will put it down, what awful people to lie.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

millieshops — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:31:06 GMT

The fiance knows she's got a great thing going. The "boy" is 29 - I'd like to see Mom stop enabling this disaster. The boy and his mother are being used, imo.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

SahmIam — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:32:50 GMT

Yeah, it is sad.On many levels.

My involvement is that of good friend. Our kids have grown up together, they are friends, we are friends, etc. It's easy to see "reality" when you're watching it go on, but not always when you're in the midst of it.

I wouldn't want my sons involved with a girl or family that acts this way but when they're a grown adult, it's not the parents' call, you know?

The whole pup situation pisses me off. Ignorance, cruelty, etc and yet...nothing will happen to THEM, the family. Just to the pup.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Peaches McPhee — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:33:54 GMT

Your friend's son is a doormat.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

occasionalrain — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:37:29 GMT

Your friend should have told her son to retrieve the dog and board him until he could find him a home. Your friend knew and her son knew what sort of people they are, leaving the dog chained out all night, and should have expected just what happened.

The dog will be put down, if he hasn't been already.

There aren't that many places they could have left the dog. The OP's friend should call them, tell them what happened and, hopefully pick him up before it's too late.

Then she should report these people to the police.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

grandma r — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:42:50 GMT

Stay out of it!!!! They are all adults; they created the situation, they need to resolve it.

I will say that those who left the puppy alone are idiots!!!! As for taking him to a shelter, and saying he bit a child........that just speaks to the lack of decency in them.

I do hope the pup finds a loving forever home!!!

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Catty2 — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:49:24 GMT

With so many rescues and shelters there is no reason to pay $350 for a dog. This isn't the dog's fault, it's the family's fault. I'm hoping that the dog hasn't been put down since they lied and said it bit children. Hoping it will find a forever family who knows how to take care of a puppy. Classic example of people who shouldn't have a dog or any pet.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Cakers3 — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:55:45 GMT

@SahmIamI don't understand the question.

Are you asking what you should do?

Or are you asking what *I* would do?

Or are you asking what *I* would have done if I were the son?

Either way it's not my call, nor yours.

The best he can do is find out the shelter and let them know what happened.

IMO?? The son was not a licensed person to be selling the puppy. Most reputable breeders/sellers will take the time to know the buyer-the puppy deserves it.

In fact, the breeder also dropped the ball by allowing the puppy to be taken by a secondary person without really knowing the environment in which the puppy would be placed.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

KingstonsMom — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 18:59:29 GMT

@grandma r wrote:
Stay out of it!!!! They are all adults; they created the situation, they need to resolve it.

I will say that those who left the puppy alone are idiots!!!! As for taking him to a shelter, and saying he bit a child........that just speaks to the lack of decency in them.

I do hope the pup finds a loving forever home!!!

I would never "stay out of it", this pup's life is at stake.

If they're this kind of person, they will do NOTHING "to resolve it", in their warped mind they HAVE "resolved THEIR problem" with the pup.

I would do everything I could to find the pup and pull him out of the shelter, before he's put down, through NO fault of his own.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Lisa now in AZ — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 19:03:51 GMT

The title of the thread asks what would you have done. My question is - in whose place?

First, I would never be engaged for 8 years. Second, if I was going to marry into this family after seeing how they treat a dog, I would end the engagement unless the girl is willing to walk away from her family, which she probably won't be and she was raised by that family, so I might expect the same behavior from her. Interesting that it seems the problem was with her family and there was not much said about the girl and how she feels about this.

The son of the good friend seems like a nice man, although he doesn't seem to know how to set boundaries or say no, which is not good, either.

I guess that all the good friend can do is be loving to his son, but at 29, he is going to do what he wants. I hope they break the engagement - this marriage will result be never-ending demands from the girl's family, to which the son doesn't seem to be able to stop.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

SXMGirl — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 19:12:26 GMT

@SahmIamThe main thing that I would do is to notify animal control about the situation and that the people lied. I would even print out your post for them. Other than that, stay away from people like that. What an unfortunate situation, but most important is to save this dog.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

cherry — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 19:13:08 GMT

I have no advice to give, but, I am so glad I don't have any friends ,who act like this. If I did, I would drop them. People who mistreat animals ,are not anyone I want to befriend

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

Jordan2 — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 19:13:22 GMT

Sometimes it's costly to learn a lesson. First off I wouldn't want to be engaged to a woman with family like this, you marry someone, you marry the family. Secondly the one I feel sorry for in this whole situation is the puppy. None of this is his fault, he was placed with a family that doesn't know the first thing about caring for him. I do hope the puppy finds a good home, he deserves it.

Re: What would you have done? (puppy situation)

shoesnbags — Fri, 29 Mar 2019 19:17:11 GMT

@Marp wrote:
I would love to comment on several points in your post @SahmIam but I would not only be banned from Q, I'd be banned from the entire Internet.

@Marp

Loved this response!