topic Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned? in Community Chat

Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:21:07 GMT

Retired 4 yrs. ago this month. As far as not missing the stress, dealing with people and their problems and being able to avoid driving in snow and ice, yes it's great.

Otherwise, it's been DH's cancer, my sudden health issues, and a constant stream of Dr. appts., tests, surgeries, future surgery, PT, to say nothing of deductables, co-pays and out of pockets things. Luckily we can afford the money, but I being nothing but an ATM with a medical number.

On a less important note, I've aged alot in 4 years.

Some things go as planned and sometimes "stuff" happens. Life is full of surprises.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

2blonde — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:31:50 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Now you're scaring me! I'm 70 and still working full-time. I never thought I'd stay this long, but after 47 years at this college, it is difficult to leave it. There also have been some events in my office that have made it more difficult for me to go.....at least for the near future (another co-worker 10 years younger than me is out because of many serious health issues).

I've already experienced a few health issues, but nothing life threatening or terribly expensive......I've continued to use the health benefits provided by my employer at a reasonable cost to me. Those deductibles and co-pays can add up, though.

I am a little scared about finally retiring. I live alone, so at least while I'm here, they would be checking on me right away if I didn't show up for work! Getting older can be scary for sure!

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

gizmogal — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:38:19 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 So sorry to hear about your health problems and your husband's cancer. It doesn't sound like any of it has to do directly with being retired, just occurring at a time you would prefer to be at leisure. But actually, when is a "good" time for the kind of troubles you've been facing? Never!

They say "people plan and God laughs". Not as in mirth or derision, but in the way your plans just get undone. But just as things went wrong for you, they can turn around again and settle into good times for you both. Stay optimistic and energized. Life is unfair, but even bad things do come to an end.

I hope you are able to find another turn that brings you good health and peace of mind, and getting to use your money for fun instead of worries.

@2blonde I'm 70 and in good enough health to get around, to do as I please, and to have time and money for fun or helping others. I would wish my luck on everyone. Living alone is a pleasure. Embrace a new chapter of life.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

itsmagic — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:35:00 GMT

When I retired 7 years ago I felt like I had been set free! I too am a retired legal secretary and it is a very stressful job. My husband and I have been lucky so far healthwise (knock on wood). I love being able to do what I want when I want and not ask anyone for a day off 😃.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

Sooner — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:35:37 GMT

@2blonde I thought that too about retiring and it is a lot easier than you think. Please retire while you still have your health. I'll bet you won't regret it if you are financially able.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

fitfuninformed — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:39:24 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I hope that your retirement did not include relocating away from family and friends, or if you did you did it long enough ago to establish new friends, doctors and have familiarized yourself with new surroundings. That's my biggest concern as retirement approaches, leaving my hometown and what I know - lived here my entire life. I have three sisters and we all are relocating together with our husbands, which gives me comfort.

I wish you well otherwise, with both yourself and your husband's health issues. This must be challenging.

Stay strong.

p.s. I've often noticed your posts as I (formerly) was a legal secretary before becoming the Office Manager of the firm many years back. I always have a sympatico with others that have worked in the legal field. Congratulations on your retirement.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

author — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:44:23 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2

It's been very similar for me as well. You don't plan on all the health issues cropping up the moment you retire and have free time, extra money, and want to do many things even if it is simple things at home. DH has had many serious health scares and it eats up not days but months and years. There is stress as well being the person responsible for so much when the spouse is ill.

I am also not as healthy as before I retired at 68, so have to be aware of autoimmune conditions, back and joint issues that now prevent me from doing so many of the things I used to love but didn't have time for.

On the plus side I like sleeping in, not going out in bad weather if I don't have to, meeting friends for lunch, but definitely miss the social contact of working and interacting with so many different people.

Days go by now and I never tell a funny store or share an experience. DH isn't interested, he has his doctors' appointments, circle of friends he meets for lunch (Romeos, retired old men eating out), and the ever present deadly Facebook, hours and hours of it. I swear he'd rather watch a cat video than our adorable cat running rings around him to get his attention.

So it is more lonely that I had thought, and, unless you are very lucky, health issues can begin in earnest at 70.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:45:11 GMT

I’m lucky, I worked a little per diem after I retired the first time. I got used to it gradually, and now that I’m permanently done, I love it. The only downside was I gained a bunch of weight, which I’m working on getting rid of.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

depglass — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:46:03 GMT

I also was a legal secretary for a very brief period of my working life. They seem to be coming out of the woodwork. But I digress, what I envisioned my retireent to be was travel, a lot of travel. I had a bucket list, Paris, Hawaii, Alaska and Grand Canyon were the places on top. Now it seems like so much effort, I'm pretty content to stay home and look out the window at the woodland creatures we have around here.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

nana59 — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:53:23 GMT

too much arthritis to enjoy retirement.......

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

lovesrecess — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:03:35 GMT

I could have written the original post. Four months after I retired, I found myself with a major medical issue that came out of nowhere..two brain surgeries within three days....16 days in ICU, learning to use a walker, etc. DH retired to take care of me, for which I still feel guilty. I retired early, so you can’t predict what your retirement will look like no matter what age. My advice....always save for a rainy day...but know there is always a chance it could be a tsunami...I am doing well now...but the plans for traveling to Europe and cruising on a river can’t happen...insufficient medical resources.

it is amazing how many former colleagues I had that died within a year of retiring...all seemed healthy and vibrant...going from being involved with life to feeling you are not contributing or feeling useful must take a toll on some people.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:59:28 GMT

@itsmagic and @fitfuninformed Nice to meet other legal secretaries. Yes, it is a stressful job. DH was diagnosed 5 weeks after I retired. If not retired I would have had to quit anyway to get him to treatments and appts.

The year I retired my closet friend, also a LS, told her boss at the end of May she was retiring in Aug. giving him 3 months to find a replacement. Two weeks after she gave notice her husband died. She kept working because her boss took his time interviewing for a new secretary. She finally left in November and 2 months later was diagnosed with one of the blood cancers. Thankfully, she is doing great.

I worked in a small, one stop light town,county seat with 7 law offices in 2 blocks. I secretary got leukemia, one got breast cancer, one retiree died after 3 short yrs, of a rare cancer, one retiree had a major stroke & will never fully recover, My stroke was minor, thank God, and then my friend. I can't decide if it's the job or the area that's hazardous.lol

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

deepwaterdotter — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:59:53 GMT

My retirement has provided time to explore those opportunities that I never had time for while employed. I volunteer through my church at the preparation and service of a community meal. Also I volunteer to provide transportation to the polls at election time.

I didn't have any preconceptions as to what my retirement would entail, have just followed where my heart and head lead me. My husband and I have grown even closer while sharing new adventures.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

Lucylu12 — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 18:59:55 GMT

I absolutely love being retired. Fortunately myself and my husband are in excellent health and no aches or pains. Knock on wood. I love being free to do what ever I want when I want. Especially love that I don’t have to get up early and prepare for work. I can just get up and take my time. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Life is good.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

RedTop — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:04:33 GMT

Yes, my retirement life is pretty much what I expected it to be. I left my job to be a caregiver, due to my husbands progressive health issues and my aging mother. My husband just had part of his foot amputated, and my mom has dementia.

My days are guided by the appts on the calendar, and unplanned surprises. A LOT of stuff just keeps happening here too, but I have always believed things happen the way they do for a reason. I knew what to expect in my retirement, so my mind is set to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with, and move on. Every day my ability to multi-task is tested, but I get in bed feeling content, very blessed, and ready to face it all again tomorrow.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

author — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:05:06 GMT

@Lucylu12

Yes, totally agree about not being on schedule, getting up when you want, staying up late (yes!) and being spontaneious with what you do each day, It is inexpressably wonderful!!

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:05:33 GMT

@author ...dh and I go back and forth on retirement....he is 79, I am in my mid 60's....he has no hobbies and we really do not run around with anyone on a regular basis, no hobbies.

I am always ready for Monday to come around, even tho we work together, it gets me out of the house and around a few other people. I am not wild about retirement because I am concerned that it will also be a tad 'lonely'. Yes, I have friends, but they are all still working and dh's friends have either passed away or are not able to get out and about...we are very thankful to be healthy.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

dex — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:06:32 GMT

Retirement freed us up to sleep in and take life easy at our own pace but life tossed circumstances our way that weren’t planned or welcomed.My mom who lives in Canada has Alzheimer’s and requires a lot of my time and has created a financial strain as well.We spend time with her that is very stressful and when we sneak home for solice the long distance worries don’t let up.The healthcare workers are being upset by her behavior and her boyfriend enables it.I am getting calls from the agency that the workers are being verbally abused and don’t want to go to her place.She takes numerous late night ambulances to the hospital and I am called anytime in the night...can’t sleep myself and this is tough on me.I know I should be understanding but I feel like this is making me sick too.Retirement for us seems to bring about a whole new way of life that could definitely use a makeover.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

spiderw — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:06:42 GMT

I retired after working for 41 years in an urban school system counseling troubled children and dysfunctional families. I believe I experienced every social issue which exists and more. It was difficult to say the least but rewarding also.

Retirement lifted all that worry and stress from my mind, I didn't have to get up very early to commute, and of course I had freedom to do what I want, when I want which was so refreshing. I didn't have to listen to administrators who were out of touch and only cared about their salaries. I do miss my friends from work and all the children I cared about. But when I retired I left with my head held high and my conscience clear because I knew I had given my all and more.

I am fortunate in having a wonderful family and friends and that certainly is important when retired. I do go out to eat often, shop when I want to shop and basically am free! However, I do have to add the doctor visits are more frequent and heath becomes so important to take care of.

Retirement is a positive situation if you have your health number one. It is what you make it. If you choose to be busy all the time or choose to relax more, that is fine. I have only one regret and that is my best friend of 55 years passed away a couple of years ago and our retirement plans were not to be. I do miss her a lot but thankfully have support with others in my life.

Re: Retirement, is it what you envisioned?

I am still oxox — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:07:03 GMT

I am retired and since I worked at home my days are a little less tructured, he will be retiring in May 2020 and then life will chage for the better