topic Re: Back from FL in Community Chat

Back from FL

BuckeyeMom — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 04:29:13 GMT

Just spent a month in S Florida..felt like a year! I agreed for a month, as we planned on doing this last year before my husband became ill & had to postpone life for awhile.

The weather was nicer than here in Ohio, but not beach weather at all..

We have visited the area before & have friends who live there..we basically did what we do at home & my husband was perfectly ok with it..dinner out every other night, took a few short day trips, reading & watching TV, some shopping, etc..we are retired..

We are going back for 2 weeks (in March) as we committed to a 3 month rental, he wants to return, for hopefully warmer weather this time..I am dreading another trip & am only agreeing to this because of him..I have no desire to ever live there & he now wants to look at a condo..please, I do understand that we are fortunate to be able to VISIT there, but that is it..he clearly understands how & why I feel this way..so, what now?

I seem to remember a woman on here that moved to FL due to her husband & has never been happy there.

Re: Back from FL

WindingRoad — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 04:42:33 GMT

STAND YOU GROUND! I moved to S Fl 32 years ago and stayed for my job. Now I'm still here for my husbands job. The people are so rude, traffic is horrible, terrible doctors, taxes and insurance through the roof. Does he want to risk his life in a hurricane? He has no clue what that is like. I bet if he came here for a month in the heat and humidity of August he'd be running back home before the month was over. Be a snowbird, best thing in the world. Tell him no, no, no.

Re: Back from FL

Kalli — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 04:55:34 GMT

@BuckeyeMom wrote:
Just spent a month in S Florida..felt like a year! I agreed for a month, as we planned on doing this last year before my husband became ill & had to postpone life for awhile.
The weather was nicer than here in Ohio, but not beach weather at all..
We have visited the area before & have friends who live there..we basically did what we do at home & my husband was perfectly ok with it..dinner out every other night, took a few short day trips, reading & watching TV, some shopping, etc..we are retired..
We are going back for 2 weeks (in March) as we committed to a 3 month rental, he wants to return, for hopefully warmer weather this time..I am dreading another trip & am only agreeing to this because of him..I have no desire to ever live there & he now wants to look at a condo..please, I do understand that we are fortunate to be able to VISIT there, but that is it..he clearly understands how & why I feel this way..so, what now?
I seem to remember a woman on here that moved to FL due to her husband & has never been happy there.

@BuckeyeMom , I’m kind of in the same boat! We live in PA but during winter DH loves going to FL. While it’s fun to go down for a week or so, I’m always happy to return home. I love my home and since I’ve only been retired for a few years, I really appreciate being home during the day and doing whatever I want.

DH loves tennis. There’s a lot of great tennis in FL over the winter. I don’t play tennis anymore...just got bored with it many years ago and stopped. In addition, my horse is here in PA. Don’t think I’ll ever want to take him to FL because of the extreme change in temps and the hassle of trailering him down and back. In fairness to him I’d only do that if we were staying the entire winter.

Anyway, I also help with my elderly dad Jan-April as brother, sis and I take turns. Can’t go long term at this point.

Re: Back from FL

Wiscfan3 — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 04:57:02 GMT

I have vacationed in S Florida several times and love it, but have never stayed longer than 1 week at a time. I think I would love it for a month or even three months but would not want to live there. You are fortunate to be able to go that long. Maybe you can convince your husband to just continue with 3 months per year.

Re: Back from FL

Lindsays Grandma — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 05:25:41 GMT

When my father retired he and my mother had to make a decision, leave New York to live in either Florida or California. I was living in CA and would have loved had they chosen it but FL was more affordable so that is where they made their new home. My sister did the same thing when her husband retired.

I visited once in a while but never in the summer. My parents drove across country to spend a month with me every year until they got too old. My sister, on the other hand had a place in Maine where she and her husband and their three children would spend summer vacations when they were still living in N.Y. and that is where she and my brother-in-law spent their summers when they lived in FL. They never spent one summer in FL and my sister who is a widow still goes to Maine every summer.

I certainly wouldn't attempt to advise you one way or the other but if you are adamant about not living there by all means you and your husband should start with the pros and cons ASAP. If you go because he wants to both of you will be miserable. By the way, my sister lives in Boca Grande and has a very good life and even with all her money she still won't stay there in the summer.

I'm sorry, I got carried away...didn't mean to make this so long. I feel for you, I really do and I hope with time it all works out to the satisfaction of both of you. Good luck and God Bless.

Re: Back from FL

LadyDoc — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 05:39:06 GMT

It’s too bad you don’t like it. We moved to the Tampa Bay Area when we retired for my health issues, but after our first winter here I think my husband loved it more than I did. We’ve been here 5 years now and would never go back north. We are doing the same thing right now that we might be doing at home, sitting and reading. But we are doing it with all the windows open, needing neither heat nor A/C. What’s not to love?

Re: Back from FL

sissel — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 06:06:41 GMT

I have been living in Az for 14yrs and we are newly retired the summers are so hot & I mean hot I thought it would be so nice to rent a furnished apt or buy condo in Colorado since we lived there 11yrs just to get out of the heat. I hate to travel can do a week but get homesick. I know just not being in my house for a few months would upset me. I have east coast friends that have 2nd houses at the shore & taxes & maintaining it gets too much. They are always running down there checking & fixing things. My g/f gets so stressed out with that shore house & she would love to sell it but DH loves it. Az is busy this time of year we got spring training going on & tourists are here til mid April they have condos & leave before the heat comes. Just had a PGA tournaments too. We need tourist money and they sure do come. If I was 20yrs younger & could have done this at the time I would jump at the chance. Not now.

Re: Back from FL

IMW — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 09:45:35 GMT

Welcome home.

Re: Back from FL

Nataliesgramma — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 10:18:23 GMT

We go to the Orlando area almost every year .....I don't think I could stand the bugs and the heat in July and August....

Re: Back from FL

Lilysmom — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 11:05:25 GMT

@BuckeyeMom , we like to visit but never for longer than a couple of weeks. My sister lived there for 8 years and HATED it. She did the snowbird thing to Canada. Couldn’t wait to sell their home.

If I was going to do the snowbird thing, I would head to South Carolina. I like it there much better than Florida.

I would rent, never buy. Then you don’t own the property and have the headache that comes with it. LM

Re: Back from FL

AngelPuppy1 — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 11:26:32 GMT

Sorry you don't enjoy it. For quite a few years DH and I went to the St. Pete Beach area for a couple weeks during the spring training time for baseball. We loved it! Of course, it was never really, really hot then which was great. We had said that if we could afford it, we would love to move down there but since we couldn't, it was a moot point. We found people to be really friendly, helpful and kind. Neither of us is that well and we have a hard time dealing with the cold and snow, etc. However, I can understand that the heat, etc. could get to a person as well. We have friends in Florida who have loved there for many years and they say that yes, the summers can be brutal, but they still prefer it to the winters we are subject to. I still think I would rather deal with the heat --- there's air conditioning -- then have to worry about constantly digging out, worries of falls on ice, etc. But I am sorry that you are unhappy there and hope you ca find a solution!

Re: Back from FL

chiclet — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 11:51:32 GMT

I have lived in north florida mostly my whole life and still not used to the summers. Growing up we had 4 seasons but now it is cold a few days and cool a few weeks and back to hot. It is only February and it will be in 80s this week. It is not even 7 in the morning and almost 70. Most of the people who are happy here like heat. They are freezing if it drops below 60. To enjoy Florida you have to like heat and the beach.

Re: Back from FL

Somertime — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 13:18:30 GMT

I can understand your concern. I would suggest you look at the West Coast of Florida, Ft. Myers, Punta Gorda, Sarasota, Venice. It is very different than the east coast and might be more to your liking. It is more laid back, not as crazy and "big" city like, traffic is much better as well. It offers many advantages that the East Coast does not especially coming from Ohio. I think it might be more suitable for you. The summers are hot and humid but everything is air conditioned. I have been, here, 22 years after leaving metro NY and chose the West Coast since the East Coast for me was like living in NY which was not what I wanted.

Re: Back from FL

riley1 — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 13:28:42 GMT

@Lilysmom - SC is not too different from Fl. Gets extremely hot/humid from June-August. Even if you plan on doing things in the morning it is quite warm/humid. The nights don't cool off either.

We also have mosquitoes that are huge, bugs and a variety of snakes.

Traffic is now all year round. We used to get a couple of months that were tourist free but now it seems to be an all year long thing.

If you were thinking of coming here, I would highly recommend you rent from June-August to see how you do in the heat.

Re: Back from FL

kaydee50 — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 14:43:50 GMT

I think it's important that you live in a place where you both will be happy. Maybe as someone has suggested a different part of FL. Sarasota/Venice especially I was very impressed with although personally I would never live in FL year round. Women seem to be more adaptable than men so we tend to give in but if I were you, I would make it clear that FL full time is out of the question.

Re: Back from FL

jlkz — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 16:46:07 GMT

@BuckeyeMom

best advice: create a written or computer-generated list of his pro’s and con’s for the FL move and on the opposite column, note yours.

Discuss from points on the paper...not from memory. You cannot change the written word while the mind can and does play tricks !

Bottomline: you are just as important to the decision making as he is. “ Happy Wife/ Happy Life “ is true for a reason. You have a right to happiness as does he.

If you look for a condo, look to rent for the winter and not buy. It will be cheaper than a permanent move followed by a return once the whole year there is tried out.

Re: Back from FL

FranandZoe — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 18:33:13 GMT

Hubby & I go to St. Pete Beach every March. We love it. We drive all over from there & go to spring training games. It's a nice central location even from/to Tampa.

We stayed on Longboat Key a few times but traffic going north was just too much to deal with. We used to talk about buying a place but have decided it's better to just rent - less to deal with including hurricanes.

in January it's still pretty cool - March will be warmer.

Hope you and your hubby can come to some kind of compromise. But 3 months seems perfect.

Re: Back from FL

barb40 — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 20:01:16 GMT

I'm not sure what exactly you disliked about Florida per se...but there are many other beach/coastal areas besides Florida, if that is what you are looking for! Perhaps visit many other areas...before committing to a move...Good luck!