topic Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND? in Community Chat

WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Spinach30 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 15:54:13 GMT

Mine thinks he's a good husband because he helps clean the house and keep the yard in good order and says he does more than I do. He stays home and works part time out of the house. I leave the house at 5:45am for work every morning and I don't come home until 4:30. It's a long day and the last thing I want to do is clean the house. I pay for a housecleaner once a month. I do cook 90% of the time. He is not the most affectionate person and at times I don't feel like I'm a priority. What's going on at your home?

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

patofl — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:04:54 GMT

I think what makes a Good husband is if he is thoughtful, kind, understanding, caring, gentle and he talks to you.(I know many women who complain their DH doesn't say 10 words to them a year). Does my husband always hit the mark with these traits ? Of course not , he's human and a man, but he does try.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

dex — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:06:52 GMT

My dh has never been a helper or made me a priority.I think his mom spoiled him but I just don’t let that get to me.I take time to do things that make myself happy.I once read that we are all responsible for our own happiness.

I think your dh does try to help but by adding that he does more takes away from the feel good part.Might help if you told him how much you appreciate his efforts and that you cook for him because you love and care about him and his health.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

kittyloo — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:09:56 GMT

@Spinach30 i think that is sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a talk about the division of chores,wants and needs.

make a list of how you think things should go or done by whom. is he receptive to what your complaints are?

you don't mention how long you've been married either. not really sure if that makes a difference.

does dh know how you feel, or are you just building resentment? i think a sit down is in order for sure.

i have a list of "thick headed" items for my dh as well.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Spinach30 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:10:09 GMT

@dex wrote:
My dh has never been a helper or made me a priority.I think his mom spoiled him but I just don’t let that get to me.I take time to do things that make myself happy.I once read that we are all responsible for our own happiness.
I think your dh does try to help but by adding that he does more takes away from the feel good part.Might help if you told him how much you appreciate his efforts and that you cook for him because you love and care about him and his health.

Actually, I did tell him that!

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Tricolor — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:14:09 GMT

We will be married 49 years in March. There have many ups and downs as with any marriage. We are now both retired but each have other interests and still manage to coexist quite well. He has always given more than he received. My husband was a good provider and sacrificed over the years that our children could have many nice things. He is an extremely hard worker. At 73 he is still quite active playing sports, going to the gym and maintaining all of the outside work on our house and yard. After all of these years we still compliment each other too. One thing that we try to do is not to fuss about the small stuff. We really do get along quite well.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Sweetbay magnolia — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:15:48 GMT

He puts up with me. I'm not sure many would (though many have tried).

He's kind, and listens when I need to figure things out. He goes to work every day.

Not bad looking.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

mimomof4 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:54:56 GMT

I love that my Hubby is handy. It saves so much money and makes home improvements more satisfying. He also is a great cook and is more thorough at cleaning then I am so we are a great team.

Most of all he is just a nice and helpful person. This past Sunday we were in a store and the lady in front of us in line ask to have a store employee help load her purchases in the car, Hubby offered to help so she didn't have to wait.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

redwingsgal — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:33:27 GMT

He puts me before anything or anyone else and he still makes my heart flutter when he walks into the room. As I do the same to him

All of this other stuff mentioned here is not important to me and my marriage. Celebrated 33 years last May

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:43:02 GMT

My husband this kind, will haelp anyone and always helped around the house, unprompted. He retired before me and would mop floors, do laundry and hang them out in good weather, and start supper without being asked. Got my coffee in the morning and would clean off my car when it snowed. He's a keeper. To top it off he's a great Dad.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

AussieLuvr — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:48:40 GMT

Kind

Honest

Intelligent

Can do or fix ANYTHING with his hands

Works hard

Faithful

Great dad and grandpa

Tall, dark and handsome

Mercurial/moody

World's worst procrastinator

Can be sharp-tongued

He is helpful to me but does it on his own time frame which means I'm lucky if it'll happen before I die of old age, lol.

He is FAR from perfect, but so am I. My husband grew up on a dairy farm and was himself a dairy farmer until our early forties. He was raised in a traditional gender-role world where men took care of the outside and women took care of the inside. He has come a long way, though, in seeing things differently.

He is a better cook than I am (and I'm a great cook) but rarely does any cooking if it's not on the grill. He isn't inclined to do anything inside the house unless I ask, and I have to be willing to wait (because ... procrastinator). He is a night person and I am a morning person. He works second shift and his workday ends at midnight since he is a manager. He unwinds till about 3am and gets up late morning. On weekends he doesn't really get it in gear to do things around the house and yard until my day is ending (4pm'ish). So I feel like I'm always waiting for him. Plus, we rarely go out because he is at work six out of seven evenings. Now, I'm so used to never going out at night that I don't even want to when we DO have the opportunity.

I can think of a lot of things I would want or like in a partner that would be better. But I might be trading off a different "list" of good qualities, as well. We have decided to keep each other.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

bonnielu — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 16:56:07 GMT

52 years of having a best friend at my side.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Trinity11 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:00:23 GMT

I met my husband 45 years ago right after Christmas. We just "clicked" immediately.

He has always been my "rock." He never complains about me holding him back from traveling or anything else for that matter, even though I have Type 1 diabetes and have woke him up since the first night we were married, needing insulin or attending to my health. He is a wonderful dad and when the children were small, he was the dad who changed diapers and fed them every chance he got. He treated me so well over the years that I have absolutely no idea what I would have done without him. I guess you could say that he is just my soulmate and it was all meant to be.

He put up the Christmas tree this year and decorated all of it. I have been sick the last few weeks so he is wrapping all the gifts. He retired a few weeks ago and I love having him around. He is everything to me and I love him more now then ever.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

SeaMaiden — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:01:49 GMT

My Dh is a little good AND a little bad..... 40 years of marriage

Good person... kind and good natured... was a wonderful provider and we have a secure retirement income because of his years of service.....

BUTTTTT>>>>>> Now retired with LOTS OF TIME ON HIS HANDS.. he has no desire to become productive around the house... will sit around or lay in bed reading magazines or watching endless hours of car racing on TV while I am cleaning house... walking the dogs... cleaning up the yard.

I do not say anything but do try to motivate him to start doing something after going on two years of doing NOTHING. I am not his keeper and not his Mother.... and do not want to become a "B" if you know what I mean....

but sooner or later he is hopefully going to get bored of doing nothing and want to start becoming a bit more productive in his day????? hmmmm.... we will see!

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

catter70 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:17:00 GMT

Don't know, I've never had a good husband, but Have had a couple of bad ones.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Cakers3 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:21:12 GMT

I'm just thankful DH is going to be around for a while more.

No matter what anyone's complaint(s) may be-someday those complaints would be traded away for just one more day with him for many wives.

I would no more assess what makes DH a "good" husband anymore than I would like to be assessed as a "good" wife.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

YorkieonmyPillow — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:46:18 GMT

He never judges me.
He always supports me emotionally.
He tells me he loves me all the time.
He cooks for me.
He goes out of his way to make sure I am happy and comfortable and that I have what I need or what I want.
He never fusses at anything I do or don't do.
He tells me I'm pretty.
He is the kindest person I've ever known.
He's good to my children.
He never fusses, gripes, or gets mad.
He is a wonderful companion.
I learn from him.
He is worthy of my love, respect, loyalty, and admiration.

I could go onnnnnnnnnnnnn.....................!!!

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

newname0 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:48:34 GMT

He has been a good provider. We are living on retirement savings that he brought the majority to.

He accomplishes things he sets out to do.

He has been a good father to our 3 sons.

We have been married 43 years and I am now learning who he is because he no longer works full time. I suppose I could have learned this when we first got married but I immediately had my first son and two more came next so we really didn't have any alone time together. That is changed now because we have the time together now.

I gues I have said the best thing that he did for me was to show up for the wedding.

We have our ups and downs but we are still together and are a team.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

Shanus — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 17:57:40 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow. He sounds like a “keeper” to me.

Re: WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND A GOOD HUSBAND?

puttypiesmom — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 18:02:59 GMT

In this day and age, hands down it would have to be his ability to earn a living and his ability to stay at one job for a huge number of years with not one single complaint from a coworker. I applaud him. I know he has put up with a lot of politics at work but he has always kept his opinions to himself. He gives the appearance of a neutral stance. I don't know how he does it. He has never felt the need to voice his opinion on controversial topics, has never rubbed anyone the wrong way. No grudges from anyone ever. I'm the only one who knows how he feels about issues and believe me.....ha, sometimes it rubs me the wrong way.