topic Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad in Community Chat

This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Jordan2 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:03:02 GMT

I don't remember what show I saw this on but this made me both mad and sad. A female student with Down Syndrome was turned down by all sororities she wanted to pledge. Why, because they deem her as "different"? At least give her the opportunity for the young women to get to know her. The girl's older sister wrote to the school, the school said there was nothing they could do as the sororities run independently from them. These woman will one day graduate and go out into the world, they will have to interact with all kinds of people, It would be nice now that this has gone public one of the sororities would invite her to pledge.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

blackhole99 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:54:16 GMT

I saw that on the news and thought how mean and shallow those" sorority sisters" are. When you think of it though, if this gal with Down Syndrome wants to be treated like everyone else, there is a good chance that many girls who don't have Down Syndrome will be passed over too. I'm sure all the girls who get passed over feel pretty bad about it, deal with those feeling and go on.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Love my grandkids — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:36:27 GMT

I've never had a high opinion of sorrorities and fraternities.

I think the young lady with Down Syndrome just dodged a bullet, so to speak.

I'm guessing she has more to offer than all those girls put together. Their shallowness is not surprising.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Mominohio — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:34:37 GMT

I really have no use for the 'Greek life' on college campuses.

Of course there are good people and they do some good things (charity mostly), but over all, I think we need to move beyond what usually happens with sororities and fraternities.

I knew when I went to college I wanted no part of any of it. My niece and nephew were both heavily involved and it was terrible the amount of hazing that still exists, and I honestly don't know how more kids aren't killed by the things I was told went on and happened with them.

I'm sorry the girl who pledged even feels like she wants to be part of that life. She has so much more to give, and much more deserving groups and people who would love to have her a part of their organization. Hopefully she will find them.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

occasionalrain — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:36:42 GMT

Wrong to expect special treatment. Contacting the school is beyond inappropriate.

It's better not to be invited than to accept a mercy invite and realize you were not wanted.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Jordan2 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:39:48 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
Wrong to expect special treatment. Contacting the school is beyond inappropriate.

It's better not to be invited than to accept a mercy invite and realize you were not wanted.

I don't know if it's wrong to contact the school. This is a form of discrimination, it shouldn't be allowed. They should get to know her before making judgments of her.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Junebug54 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:49:47 GMT

Trying to figure out an acceptable way to ask this question... Maybe I'm ignorant... and before I continue I just want everyone to know that I have a mentally challenged sister.. so I have sympathy. However, how does someone with Downs Syndrome get into college?

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

blackhole99 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:54:52 GMT

@Jordan2Those sorority sisters would never admit they were discriminating against this girl because she has Down Syndrome. They can only take so many new pledges into the house, in a way everyone who is rejected is discriminated against. We need to stop coddling our kids, college is their time to stick up for themselves and grow up.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

occasionalrain — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:52:43 GMT

Private organizations can exclude anyone for any reason. They vote on new members by secret ballot. Otherwise why pay for a membership if anyone can join?

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

IamMrsG — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:00:56 GMT

I find it interesting that the automatic assumption is that she was turned down because of her disability. I read a news article that said it wasn't her idea to apply for membership, but that her older sister wanted it for her because her own experience had been so positive. With that information in mind, isn't it equally feasible that the candidate might not have demonstrated a genuine interest in joining? Then the older sister accused the sororities of discrimination and filed the complaint.

The implication, at least to my interpretation, is that this young woman should have been accepted because of her disability. In my book, that's every bit as injurious and morally wrong.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

blackhole99 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:56:00 GMT

@Junebug54 wrote:
Trying to figure out an acceptable way to ask this question... Maybe I'm ignorant... and before I continue I just want everyone to know that I have a mentally challenged sister.. so I have sympathy. However, how does someone with Downs Syndrome get into college?

@Junebug54Just because you have Down Syndrome does not mean you can't learn and excel. The people I have met with Down Syndrome all graduated from high school and did well. My friends son was born with Down Syndrome and he went to community college and that was in the 90's.I have a feeling today, people with any kind of disability who have access to resources and encouragement from their loved ones can do just about anything they want.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Junebug54 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:03:52 GMT

@blackhole99 That is so wonderful to hear. I honestly did not know that...

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

gidgetgh — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:08:05 GMT

This story makes me sad.

I do want to say though that I was in a sorority in college and it was a really positive experience for me. Sorority membership is lifelong and I still consider myself a proud sister. I plan to be buried with my sorority pin.

I was very shy in school and away from home for the first time, with 5,000 people I didn’t know. Being in a sorority gave me a ready made family, so to speak and I enjoyed every minute of it and it helped me be more self assured.

In addition to the social aspects, it taught me how to work well in groups, how to lead once I was a sorority officer, things that helped me later in my professional life. We did lots of charity work and, at least for us, hazing was against our national rules and so we didn’t.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

bonnielu — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:21:46 GMT

Personally I think she should walk away because she worthy of a better group of friends.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

spiderw — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:48:51 GMT

When I was a high school student I joined a sorority. All of us enjoyed our time together and had a lot of fun, it was a great group of girls and a wonderful experience . However, when I went to college I decided not to join because my father was very ill and I couldn't commit my time to anything but studies.

I am sorry this particular sorority turned down the young lady with Downs syndrome. However, I am not surprised because there are still a lot of people who shame others for their weight, looks, beliefs, disabilities etc. These are cruel people who point at others to cover their own inadequacies. When you are young it does hurt and it is also sad.

Like other posters have stated, the young lady is better off not being with such ill mannered, stupid people.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Mominohio — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:53:12 GMT

@blackhole99 wrote:
@Junebug54 wrote:
Trying to figure out an acceptable way to ask this question... Maybe I'm ignorant... and before I continue I just want everyone to know that I have a mentally challenged sister.. so I have sympathy. However, how does someone with Downs Syndrome get into college?
@Junebug54Just because you have Downs Syndrome does not mean you can't learn and excel. The people I have met with Downs Syndrome all graduated from high school and did well. My friends son was born with Downs Syndrome and he went to community college and that was in the 90's.I have a feeling today, people with any kind of disability who have access to resources and encouragement from their loved ones can do just about anything they want.

And people with Downs have a very broad spectrum of differing ability verbally, physically and academically. Some are very high functioning, just as people with other challenges.

I have a niece by marriage with Downs and the education process now is taking many kids further than anyone ever thought they could go even just one generation ago.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

stevieb — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 23:58:38 GMT

@Junebug54 wrote:
Trying to figure out an acceptable way to ask this question... Maybe I'm ignorant... and before I continue I just want everyone to know that I have a mentally challenged sister.. so I have sympathy. However, how does someone with Downs Syndrome get into college?

@Junebug54 No worries, I was wondering the same thing. It's not being judgmental at all, just curious because on the face of it, it's a disconnect.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

stevieb — Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:01:04 GMT

@blackhole99 wrote:
@Jordan2Those sorority sisters would never admit they were discriminating against this girl because she has Down Syndrome. They can only take so many new pledges into the house, in a way everyone who is rejected is discriminated against. We need to stop coddling our kids, college is their time to stick up for themselves and grow up.

I tend to agree. At most colleges where there are social clubs, lots of students rush but not all of them are selected. The members of each house vote on to whom, among those rushing their house, they want to offer a bid... It might seem unfair, but it's not discrimination...

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

Goldengate8361 — Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:12:18 GMT

@occasionalrain is completely right on this issue.

Re: This Makes Me Mad And Sad

libbyannE — Sat, 22 Sep 2018 03:00:47 GMT

There are not that many open places every year in a sorority, and there are hundreds or more who go through Rush in hopes of getting in. Grades are a big part of the selection process. Who knows why any one person isn’t chosen for a particular sorority? I would not be quick to judge without knowing more. Again, though, there aren’t that many open spaces a year so few are chosen.