topic Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation in Community Chat

Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

alliswell — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:22:15 GMT

In a business setting or a conference call, I feel using a speaker phone is perfectly OK. But when I speak with someone that I have a personal relationship with, and have known and talked to on a regular basis, and confided in (an older family member), it was very disconcerting to learn that the other party was using a speaker phone. I'm still trying to figure out why this makes me uncomfortable - as if my privacy has been invaded.

What are your thoughts regarding use of a speaker phone?

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

tansy — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:25:15 GMT

My husband puts all calls on speaker phone to help him hear the conversation better.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

Lilysmom — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:25:56 GMT

@alliswell, if someone calls me when I am in the middle of cooking or anything that requires both hands, I use speaker. No one but me and dog around when I do it. I always ask permission and have never had anyone say no. It’s just a convenience to me. LM

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

CelticCrafter — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:26:06 GMT

I feel the same way, I don't like it and my sister-in-law does it all the time when my b-i-l is sitting there.

Nothing to hide, just don't like it.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

esmerelda — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:26:56 GMT

@alliswell I agree with you. If I found myself in that situation, in a private conversation where I was on speakerphone and I knew other people were on the other end, I would have theconversation at a later time.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

ShowMe — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:28:51 GMT

@alliswell wrote:

In a business setting or a conference call, I feel using a speaker phone is perfectly OK. But when I speak with someone that I have a personal relationship with, and have known and talked to on a regular basis, and confided in (an older family member), it was very disconcerting to learn that the other party was using a speaker phone. I'm still trying to figure out why this makes me uncomfortable - as if my privacy has been invaded.

What are your thoughts regarding use of a speaker phone?

@alliswell.......I agree with you. Many times that I am talking with my sister she puts me on her speaker phone (I can tell the minute she does that)....and I don't like that. She does this when she is eating a meal.....and then she talks with food in her mouth. I have asked her many times to turn the speaker phone off....or I will call her back when I think she is finished eating. She also does this when she calls me. I don't like speaker phones.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

Still Raining — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:29:32 GMT

The ABSOLUTE worst is the idiots who take one into a public restroom stall. I mean really, how can you do your business????

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

graciesjoy — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:40:25 GMT

I'm not typically inclined to comment on these boards BUT in this case I will. I absolutely concur with you concerning the comfort level. First, if there's a reason for the caller to place a party on speaker phone, it should clearly be stated "I'm putting you on speaker. Is this okay?" If one party or the other, has an issue with hearing the call through the handset, the response should be the same. " I'm having trouble hearing you and I'm going to put you on speaker. It this okay?" To do so otherwise, whether it's personal or business risks invading the privacy of the caller. I actually have trouble hearing a person that places me on speaker. Quite often I can hear them shuffling papers and other background noises and I will say "I'm sorry. I'm having trouble hearing you. Will you please take me off speaker." I worked in a professional environment for years and would have never put someone I called on speaker without first telling them I was doing so. It was sometimes necessary if I had another co-worker present and the three of us needed to discuss something but using speaker routinely was never something I did as I thought it sent the message that I wasn't entirely attentive to them during our conversation. Just another way in which social and professional etiquette has erroded .

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

Annabellethecat66 — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:44:52 GMT

If I get a call and I'm in my car (I have a car where it goes through the speaker when I'm out) I will let the person know I'm in my car. I also let the person know they're on speaker phone in my car and I have someone else in the car. I will say, "I'm in my car. You're on speakerphone and so and so is here". That way if it's an emergency they can say it or most of the time they'll say, "OK, call me back".

Often my youngest daughter is taking a break at the same time I'm at a restaurant with my friend. She's sitting across from me. I always answer when one of my daughter's call me. I will say (never answering then on speakerphone) "I'm out to lunch with so and so. I'll call you back later or you can call me back".

At home I always use the speakerphone because I live with 2 cats and they don't care who I talk to.

I have a good guy friend who ALWAYS puts everyone on speakerphone for the same reason many of you do, he can't hear very well, or he just doesn't want to bother holding it. The problem is his wife is always there....in the vicinity. She always gives her two cents to our conversations. It used to bother me, but I've gotten over it because she often has something interesting to say. It is frustrating though because he will say (to her), "What did you say"? Take a lot of patience on my part but....it is what it is.

Lately I've been in Drs offices and had people in the waiting room talking on speakerphone to other's. Now that is extremely inconsiderate. What's even worse, they are speaking another language....that drives me even more crazy. I don't know if they could understand me if I said, "Could you please take that out of the room?" People go to the Drs because they don't feel well....they don't want to listen to others yelling back and forth.

If you think I wouldn't go over to them and say something....you don't know me...(well, actually you don't). So many people let other's walk all over them and everyone because they don't speak up.

To be fair, I will give them a minute or two and if it keeps up I'll go up to the window or go over and speak to them. I've actually done that and had the people waiting come over to me and say, "Thank you for doing that".

It seems like rudeness has overtaken things sometimes. It is courteous to step out of the waiting room after telling the ladies at the desk, "I have to take this call. I'm stepping right outside of the door".

Takes one minute and other's really appreciate it that someone is being courteous.

Usually I'll text family and friends, "I'm sitting in the Drs office right now". That avoids any unnecessary calls.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

gabstoomuch — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 14:52:58 GMT

Years ago, you could always tell when you were on speaker phone because it sounded different. Hollow, with a tin can type sound.

Now, phones have come so far you really can't tell anymore. That is also true for when someone is talking hands free and the call is going through their car speakers. You have no way of knowing because newer cars are so quiet inside it is impossible to know someone is driving unless they say so.

I hate it when I find out at the very end of a conversation that I was on speaker (for personal phone calls). I feel very betrayed, especially if talking of things personal in nature.

I had a very personal conversation with someone recently, discussing a life problem, I just needed to talk to someone. I thought I could trust this person.

She said something in that conversation that upset me, but I did not address in the moment. However, in a few days I called to discuss her comment. She denied ever saying it! When I said "yes, you did", she came back with "I did not! and I can prove it! My phone was on speakerphone the whole time and my uncle was sitting right next to me on the couch. He heard the whole conversation".

I was at first crushed, then felt very betrayed because of the nature of the call. If I wanted to discuss my business with her whole family I would have gone to her house and had her whole family sit down and listen.

My betrayal turned to anger. I realized that this person is not who I thought she was. Our entire conversation being blasted out on speaker phone showed me she has no boundaries, she had no care there were others in the room, and she didn't have the common decency to even let me know I was on speaker.

I learned a big lesson that day. She is no longer a friend, because now I have no idea how many of our calls have been on speaker, she lied to me, and she brushed off when I asked why she didn't tell me I was on speaker as not a big deal. I realized I was not really her friend if she can't give me the common decency to tell right at "hello".

It affected me so much. Not the loss of a "friend", but now I always ask anyone I call "am I on speaker?". Even if they say no, I am not trusting anymore. It really really affected me.

I hate this new world we live in. There are days when I hate technology, especially phones.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

Imaoldhippie — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:02:12 GMT

I personally dont like it.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

151949 — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:03:03 GMT

@tansy wrote:
My husband puts all calls on speaker phone to help him hear the conversation better.

So do I.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

ShowMe — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:05:13 GMT

@Still Raining wrote:
The ABSOLUTE worst is the idiots who take one into a public restroom stall. I mean really, how can you do your business????

@Still Raining......believe you are talking about cell phones..... This is about speaker phones. A lot of difference between the two..

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

seaBreeze — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:07:57 GMT

I use speaker for ALL conversations. Callers do not realize when they COUGH in the mouthpiece, or accidentially HIT THE KEYPAD while speaking to me (causing those annoying beeps in my ear) that they are torturing me.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

proudlyfromNJ — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:08:17 GMT

@ShowMe wrote:
@Still Raining wrote:
The ABSOLUTE worst is the idiots who take one into a public restroom stall. I mean really, how can you do your business????
@Still Raining......believe you are talking about cell phones..... This is about speaker phones. A lot of difference between the two..

@ShowMe. Cell phones are also speaker phones.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

ccassaday — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:08:40 GMT

I use it if I am alone. I do not like using the speaker if there are other people who can hear the conversation around. That’s why if I have a phone call to make I wait until I am alone and use the speaker.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

Alison Wonderland — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:10:52 GMT

The key factor for me is who else is around to hear. My parents put me on speaker so they can both hear and don't get feedback from two phone handsets in the same room. The only other person around is my sister, so I'm fine with that. Likewise, I put them on speaker because they often call me when I'm cooking or doing laundry and need both hands. I live alone, so no one else is going to hear. I do have an Alexa, but truly, if Amazon wants to listen to my mom talk about her arthritis, back pain, recent trip to the dentist or which members of their local parish have died in the last week, they can have at it.

When I used to call my dad when he worked in an office, I would always ask that he take me OFF speaker phone because anyone who walked by could hear and I didn't need to hear his business partners and they certainly didn't need to hear me.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

ShowMe — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:13:27 GMT

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@ShowMe wrote:
@Still Raining wrote:
The ABSOLUTE worst is the idiots who take one into a public restroom stall. I mean really, how can you do your business????
@Still Raining......believe you are talking about cell phones..... This is about speaker phones. A lot of difference between the two..
@ShowMe. Cell phones are also speaker phones.

@proudlyfromNJ.....I understand that. That's why I don't use my cell phone unless it's an emergency.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

faeriemoon — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:14:56 GMT

I always announce "you're on speaker" if someone else is around when I answer the phone. I often use speaker phone because I'm doing things while I'm talking, and I need both hands. If the conversation should shift to something personal I immediately take it off speaker.

Back in the day you used to be able to tuck the phone between your ear and your neck and do whatever you needed to do. These days the phone is smaller than the remote. Hate that.

Re: Using Speaker Phone in Private Conversation

Snoopp — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 15:23:08 GMT

I use speakerphone all the time when dealing with customer service reps since I like to multitask and am usually using my computer at the time. I never thought to ask if the person was ok with it. Oops. I rarely use it for anyone else.