topic Re: Do You Eat Before You Go? in Community Chat

Do You Eat Before You Go?

tsavorite — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 15:51:20 GMT

out to lunch with a friend or showers, picnics and things like that?? I find that I do this often OR I stop to get food on way home from lunch or shower type things.

I have been expressing myself better on the lunch date places. I prefer to go somewhere that I can order something on the menu that I can actually eat...enjoy....be full and feel like it was a nice time. What has happened in the past is we go where they say and there isn't anything good on menu for me so I am starving when I leave plus I had to pay the bill LOL!

I know everyone has different tastes and preferences in food for sure....for some it's a health reason perhaps or dieting and so on. I just like to pick a place that has a large variety of choice so that it works out for everyone.

Somehow I feel pressured to agree to places I don't want to go to. I have begun saying NO to that and let's just say I am getting a little blow back. The person implied that they are "easy" when it comes to a place to eat which implies to me that I am difficult. I didn't appreciate that to be honest.

I respect she has reasons for why she orders dishes like she does why can't I be allowed the same? You like shrimp I like chicken....you like pasta....I like steak....there is no right or wrong or easy vs. difficult....it's just preferences. No value judgement is necessary.

The shower or family stuff is hard to plan for......I tend to play it safe and eat something at home just before I go and that way I can avoid the fatty bratwurst or hot dogs and all the sugary baked goods. My spouse loves all that and eats like 5 bratwurst...tons of sweets...alcohol and so on. I just can't do that and he doesn't get upset at all...he's fine eating/drinking away LOL!

So when I know that type of family picnic thing is happening I just eat before I go! Do you?

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

sunshine45 — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:57:18 GMT

never eat before i go out to a party or before i go out to eat.

we go out probably twice a week.

i know that restaurants and other places usually have at least one or two things that i can eat. i am not that picky and have no special dietary needs.

even if i can only have a cocktail and an appetizer i am fine. i enjoy being around my friends and family without getting stressed out about where we are or what we will be eating.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

BirkiLady — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:18:54 GMT

I'm diabetic and won't eat red meat, pastas; anything with potatoes, white sugar, white flour, starches, fried, etc. Normally, I eat several tiny meals throughout the day to keep my blood sugars even, rather than three large meals and a lot of meds. Works for me and I haven't gained the weight which so many people blame on being diabetic. It's actually because they are not following their diabetic diets properly and getting enough exercise IMO.

Another type of meal I've always avoided is "pot lucks" which you never know how food is prepared, if it's been kept at the correct temperature, and if foods are fresh! Don't do salad bars either.

If cannot I fix it myself or cannot order off a menu, I'm not going to eat it. Most restaurants have a variety of options for everyone. Why would anyone question you about what you want to eat?

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

tsavorite — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:16:38 GMT

@sunshine45 wrote:
never eat before i go out to a party or before i go out to eat.
i know that restaurants and other places usually have at least one or two things that i can eat. i am not that picky and have no special dietary needs.

even if i can only have a cocktail and an appetizer i am fine.

I don't see myself as a picky eater but I do feel everyone has different preferences is all. I can suggest places like Panera....Max & Ermas...Olive Garden (they like pasta I get chicken instead lol)....Red Lobster...and so on but it seems to fall flat.

We only do this a few times per yr...but still it makes if very unenjoyable for me to spend money and it be awful tasting and have to go home and eat. I'd rather go to a place with variety.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

wishmoon — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:27:37 GMT

I eat very much like @BirkiLady, not because I'm diabetic but because I'm "kinda keto" meaning not strict but I stay away from sugars as much as possible. I can find something to eat at most restaurants, even if it's a salad or omelet. I usually drink iced tea and have packs of Stevia in my handbag if they don't offer it. I don't conciously think about eating/drinking sugar any longer, it just comes naturally. Those few times when I forget, I'm brought back to reality quickly because I get stomach aches from sugar. Unplanned benefit.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

CrazyDaisy — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:27:47 GMT

I can usually find something on a menu that I like or can eat. Most places are very accommodating. Did have one friend who was super picky about what and were she would eat. Always wanted a selection available for her to choose from. Got old very quickly and the group no longer goes out to eat much. Basically because on this one persons lack of flexibility.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

Peaches McPhee — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:29:00 GMT

What do you do in this situation in a restaurant, @tsavorite? Order nothing and just sit there drinking water? Why are you paying?

I would never knowingly go to a restaurant where I knew they was nothing on the menu for me. Sounds like you need to be more assertive, or just decline.

As for family gatherings, if I knew I could not eat any of the offerings, I either bring my own or eat ahead of time.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

haddon9 — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:29:32 GMT

Wow! I wouldn't agree to a restuarant that I didn't like!

Whenever I get together with friends we all agree on a nice restaurant to go to. To me that means no fast food and rarely a chain restaurant. There are a lot of really good restaurants in my area that have a variety of quality food.

As for a function like a picnic or party at someone's house, no I usually find something to eat. There is usually a variety of salads and often people will get catered platters of some kind.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:38:54 GMT

Unless I was on a strict, medically required diet where my health was in such a fragile state that I would be at real risk, I would never even think about eating before I went to a lunch date, dinner date, or party.

I understand with diabetics the timing of when and what they eat matters. Assuming that is not the case and with you it's more of a preference thing, most restaurants offer a decent salad and even if it's not on the menu, you can probably get some protein added to it for an upcharge. If you don't like the choice of restaurant the organizer has chosen, you always have the option of staying home. Lunch dates for me are more about getting together than what I'm eating. Making the food more of the issue than getting together with your friends could end up labeling you as fussy. Either go with the flow or stay home.

When it comes to gatherings at someone's home, again if I was on a medically required strict diet, I would talk with the hostess ahead of time, explain the situation, and tell her that I don't want to hurt her feelings but that I would be bringing my own food. If that was not the case, I would not insult the hostess and negate all the hard work she's done to prepare for the party by not eating what she has provided. Surely there would be something on the food table I could eat, even if just taking a small amount.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

PhilaLady1 — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:32:47 GMT

When I was younger, no, I did not eat before I went. In those days, there were many uncles, aunts, cousins, and extended family. And multiple circles of friends. There was always abundant and delicious food at parties and get-togethers.

These days, as an older person, I always eat before. My social life has dwindled down to a few friends and family that is left. One off-shoot of the family cooks strictly with health in mind. That's great for her, but on special occasions, there is no deviation, and nothing tastes good. Use a little pat of butter for gosh sakes.

Then there is another off-shoot of the family that always seems to have minimal food available. They have money, so that is not the issue. I am always afraid to take more than a tiny serving of anything because I do not want them to run out of stuff, and I don't want to appear greedy.

That all being said, I don't want to come off as ungrateful. I am lucky to have people in my life that care about me enough to open their home and also their kitchen to me.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

haddon9 — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:32:34 GMT

@tsavorite wrote:
@sunshine45 wrote:
never eat before i go out to a party or before i go out to eat.
i know that restaurants and other places usually have at least one or two things that i can eat. i am not that picky and have no special dietary needs.

even if i can only have a cocktail and an appetizer i am fine.
I don't see myself as a picky eater but I do feel everyone has different preferences is all. I can suggest places like Panera....Max & Ermas...Olive Garden (they like pasta I get chicken instead lol)....Red Lobster...and so on but it seems to fall flat.

We only do this a few times per yr...but still it makes if very unenjoyable for me to spend money and it be awful tasting and have to go home and eat. I'd rather go to a place with variety.

@tsavorite . You are suggesting all chain restaurants that usually have low quality food. It's fine for once in a while but it sounds like you don't go out with them all that often. Why not find a great restaurant? You can check TripAdvisor which will have the best restaurants in any area.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

BirkiLady — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:35:28 GMT

My grandson has food allergies (eggs, peanuts, tree nuts and ?? can't remember the last thing!). Anyway, most restaurants are so helpful working with him when ordering. If there is any question, the waiter/waitress will check with the chef before actually taking his order. No one wants him going into an allergic reaction. If there is any question, we simply change his order to something we (both family and the restaurant manager) are more comfortable with.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

CelticCrafter — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:39:27 GMT

The local diner should have something for everyone.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

chrystaltree — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:41:12 GMT

Good grief no. And I don't stop to eat after I just left a restaurant or dinner. I can't wrap my head around that. My wellness group suggests that people who can't control what they eat or are volume eaters eat something filling and healthy before they go out to a dinner or party, to control cravings and head hunger. I don't have that problem. I am a bit of picky eater and I try to eat healthy but my friends are my friends and when we dine out, WE decide where we are going to eat so that all of us will have something on the menu that we can enjoy. That's what most people do. I don't know why you would feel pressured to go somewhere that doesn't appeal to you. If your friend is that selfish, just say "sorry, Susie. I can't joing you this time. Nothing there for me to eat". I've never been to family buffet or party or even a work party that did not include a variety of foods. I probably wouldn't go if that was the case. I'd send my husband off with the gift and he could stuff hisself with bratwurst and cake.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

shoptilyadropagain — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:41:25 GMT

I normally don't but if a group of friends agree upon a restaurant that I've never been to, I will look at the menu online and have an idea of what I will order or at least a good idea.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

Carmie — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:42:01 GMT

I do not like to eat out in restaurants or at social functions. I usually come home starving or stuffed from eating a dumb salad, but only if croutons were not added.

i love salads and eat them everyday, but when I go out, I want something different than what I prepare at home.

Social functions are very difficult for me....at least in a resturant, I can usually find something to eat. Breakfasts in restaurants are almost impossible.

I have Celiac Disease and can't eat gluten which seems to be added to gluten free foods. Even seasonings have gluten added to keep them from clumping.

I don't eat before I go out, and most of the time I don't eat when I get home. I just do without.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

Wiscfan3 — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 16:47:17 GMT

No, but I understand what you are saying. I have one group of friends who always want to do a Mexican restaurant. I have always agreed and have tried some dishes that I didn't like, have tried just getting tacos a la carte, and have tried a taco salad. None of them have been very good, in my opinion. My friends absolutely love the place so I go along because I love being with them, but I am very happy when everyone agrees to go somewhere else.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

tsavorite — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 17:00:09 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
Good grief no. And I don't stop to eat after I just left a restaurant or dinner. I can't wrap my head around that. My wellness group suggests that people who can't control what they eat or are volume eaters eat something filling and healthy before they go out to a dinner or party, to control cravings and head hunger. I don't have that problem. I am a bit of picky eater and I try to eat healthy but my friends are my friends and when we dine out, WE decide where we are going to eat so that all of us will have something on the menu that we can enjoy. That's what most people do. I don't know why you would feel pressured to go somewhere that doesn't appeal to you. If your friend is that selfish, just say "sorry, Susie. I can't joing you this time. Nothing there for me to eat". I've never been to family buffet or party or even a work party that did not include a variety of foods. I probably wouldn't go if that was the case. I'd send my husband off with the gift and he could stuff hisself with bratwurst and cake.

I don't have a weight issue....my friend is always dieting. I respect that and we both have some intestinal issues that we avoid certain types of foods that might bother us. Hers are different then mine but it's the same concept.

As for family picnic I don't think you can avoid those....and husband would want me there so I just eat before we leave and if by chance there's something there other than bratwurst or hot dogs I eat that like salad. I bring fruit or something else along. I don't eat pasta so pasta salads are out for me those are usually there. Sugar carbs like pasta make me feel ill and bloated. Same with super fatty meats...like bratwurst. Booze is a no go for me too. Heat and booze is a bad mix ...so I eat before I go and truly nobody notice I am not woofing down plates full of food.

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

dulwich — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 17:01:26 GMT

Having lived in this small town for 14 years I do have problems when going out to eat with friends. We only have 4 restaurants in town - 2 Mexican, 1 'fine cooking' 1 very bad pizza.

The fine dining one was excellent but for the last 2 years has never changed its menu - or specials - and seems to be going down - the Mexicans not very good - again always same items, food always cold - I can recite all the dishes plus specials from memory for these restaurants - but people here have nowhere else to eat except to drive 30- 40 miles and then it is mostly fast food and we all need a night out now'n again.

I now decline lots of invites because I just do not like the food and prices - if I do go out I do eat something before I go and then maybe only order appetizers or salad unless Heaven help us there is a new item on the menu to try! Looking forward to moving to CA just for a good meal out!

Re: Do You Eat Before You Go?

CelticCrafter — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 17:07:01 GMT

@Wiscfan3 - I'm not a fan of Mexican food because I don't like cumin, can't even stand the smell of it but if there was a plain Cheese Quesidilla I'd be okay with that.