topic Re: Toxic co-workers in Community Chat

Toxic co-workers

suzyQ3 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 18:08:34 GMT

An online site listed six types of toxic people you should not befriend. You can add to the list if you choose to.

1. The Chit-Chatter

Your office would be a boring, mildly depressing place if you didn’t spend time talking about that new Netflix show or the weird thing your kid said the other night. But if a co-worker gets a little too into small talk, to the point that they’re monopolizing everyone’s time, you may want to keep your distance, said psychologist and executive coach Kate Snowise.

“These are the people in the workplace who are more interested in socializing than getting the work done,” she said. “If you get too close to them, they’ll be quick to distract you. The downside being, you’ll still have that pile of work to get done. The chit-chatter can be a massive productivity suck.”

2. The Know-It-All

Know-it-alls in your office thrive when they make others feel less capable and inferior: They school your IT guy on the new Apple iOS update without ever being asked, and they’re quick to talk over people in lower positions during meetings. Their confidence may have earned them a cushy position, but don’t be swayed by their inflated sense of self or power, said Teresa Marzolph, founder of Culture Engineered, a human capital consulting firm in Phoenix.

“If you get close to them, you are signing up for a life of a lackey. They will not recognize you as their equal, ever,” she said. “Know-it-alls live in a world where they are smart and everyone else isn’t. When something goes wrong, it’s your fault, not theirs. The know-it-all’s loyalty is to his ego. Your friendship, career and dignity will come in second, at best.”

3. Back-Stabbers

Obviously, you don’t want to befriend someone who steals others’ ideas for points with the boss or gets off on “Mean Girls”-esque power plays, said Lynn Taylor, workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job.

“Back-stabbers are often charming at first and know how to earn your trust, until you get burned,” she said. “Get too close and you’ll find out that comments you made in confidence have circulated or an idea of yours is suddenly theirs.”

4. The Procrastinator

The procrastinator will do anything except actually work at work: Louie from finance is having a retirement party? Be there. Your co-worker needs help picking a dress for her cousin’s wedding? Pull up Pinterest. The problem is, all too often, the benchwarmer’s laziness cuts into your own productivity, Marzolph said.

“For this person, work is one big day of chores and he is eager to find distractions,” she said. “They will Slack you, email you, stop you in the halls, ask you questions without reason, and may even go so far as to plan their day of dillydallying around your breaks so that they can cajole you into their lives of folly.”

“Stay clear,” she added. “They will rob you of your energy because they are constantly testing your focus and commitment.”

5. The Soul-Sucker

The soul-sucker takes, takes and takes, said S. Chris Edmonds, a human resources expert and founder of The Purposeful Culture Group. They need your reassurance before presenting something to the full group but never think to check in with you before your big presentation. They rant about being passed over for a role, while completely disregarding the fact that you’ve been toiling away in the same position for years.

“They offer nothing in return. They don’t provide assistance or support. That’s not their job,” Edmonds said. “Associating with this person causes exhaustion, frustration and increased skills in hiding from them daily.”

6. The Martyr

If it weren’t for this person, the whole office would shut down ― at least as far as they’re concerned. We all need to air our grievances every now and then, but a co-worker who has a martyr complex spends half the day complaining about how lazy everyone else is compared to them, Marzolph said. They do the lion’s share of the work and everyone else is phoning it in ― including you, even if they don’t tell you that straight to your face.

“If you’re friends with them, be wary,” she said. “If you step on their toes or do something wrong in their book, you did so on purpose and they won’t rest until everyone knows it. In the workplace, you can expect that a well-skilled martyr will feel better only when you, the offender, are punished.”

One addition I would make is the co-worker who injects his own personal beliefs, be they religious or political or social, issues -- into every conversation.

Re: Toxic co-workers

Johnnyeager — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 18:19:24 GMT

The Back Stabber is the worst, I know from personal experience.

They also engage in the associated activities of "Finger Pointing" and "Blame Assigning" which are also forms of office bullying.

Re: Toxic co-workers

blackhole99 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 18:24:43 GMT

In my 35 years in the work place I have encountered everyone of those personality types. I also have found that birds of the feather, flock together.

Re: Toxic co-workers

tansy — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 18:27:45 GMT

I can think of one toxic person who hits every single one of those categories.

Re: Toxic co-workers

Ms tyrion2 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 19:00:02 GMT

@tansy wrote:
I can think of one toxic person who hits every single one of those categories.

Me too!

Re: Toxic co-workers

QVCkitty1 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 19:05:01 GMT

I've met them all !

Re: Toxic co-workers

hckynut — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 19:13:01 GMT

@suzyQ3

Have had many jobs, starting at age 8, with a paper route no co-workers but my mother, on occasion.

I think the word "toxic" does not describe any of the many co-workers I've had over many decades. Maybe it is because I could spot those, that could become that, to people more receptive/gullible, choose your own word!

This includes all my superiors and those on the same work/wage level as myself. Thus I have nothing to add to that very long litany of those to avoid.

Re: Toxic co-workers

apl_pi14 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 19:30:30 GMT

What about the complainer? I work with someone who goes office to office complaining about everything---including a free lunch!

Re: Toxic co-workers

deepwaterdotter — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 19:52:13 GMT

I wonder how many of my former co-workers thought I fit into one of the categories listed.

Re: Toxic co-workers

chickenbutt — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 20:06:00 GMT

I also saw more of the back-stabber types when I worked. They were usually the ones who were jealous at your success, but not willing to do the work to get there, themselves.

They would gossip about you, behind your back, and act like your friend to your face.

I'm sure glad I'm not around humans most of the time now!

Re: Toxic co-workers

this is my nic — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 21:08:03 GMT

They are definitely out there! Work long enough and you'll run into every type.

Re: Toxic co-workers

occasionalrain — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 22:48:18 GMT

The only advice these experts give is to avoid the toxic co-workers. Easier said than done and guaranteed to be noticed by those being avoided making you a target.

Re: Toxic co-workers

suzyQ3 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 22:59:46 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
The only advice these experts give is to avoid the toxic co-workers. Easier said than done and guaranteed to be noticed by those being avoided making you a target.

@occasionalrain, depending upon circumstances, it can difficult.

One thing that helps is to be very cautious in the beginning. Don't get overly chummy with anyone until you get a lay of the land.

Re: Toxic co-workers

hippiechick7897 — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 23:44:10 GMT

I have one co-worker who is 4 out of 6 of those 🤭

Re: Toxic co-workers

SeaMaiden — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 23:48:49 GMT

When I was working I do not know who was worst....my toxic co workers or the toxic customers. Thank goodness I do not have to deal with either anymore.

Re: Toxic co-workers

hsawaknow — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 00:20:10 GMT

When I read number one my first thought was one of QVC show host....

Re: Toxic co-workers

lovesrecess — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 01:42:57 GMT

If you have spent a year in the workplace, you recognize most, if not all, of these types of toxic co-workers. The backstabber is the one I was most familiar with...with the Know-it-all a close second....but they have all found their way into my world over the years.

I would add another type: the "it's all about me" co-worker; they talk about nothing and no one but themselves and how fabulous they are....it is exhausting and the work is still there waiting to be done...

Re: Toxic co-workers

jeanlake — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 01:45:09 GMT

Sometimes all 6 types are living in one personality. Always makes for an interesting work day. Love this Bill Murray (comedian) quote -- "The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself."

Re: Toxic co-workers

Texasmouse — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 01:45:34 GMT

One person I work with is a chit chatter but also a bully so you'd BETTER listen when she wants to chat.

Re: Toxic co-workers

Johnnyeager — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 11:39:48 GMT

We recently all took a class in harassment and office bullying. It was interesting to see the types of behavior which the company includes as bullying: hiding information, finger pointing, yelling at someone.....

These are reportable iincidents to HR. Geesh, the HR Hotline must be blowing up right now!