topic Re: Shame on Facebook! in Community Chat

Shame on Facebook!

KingstonsMom — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 16:57:41 GMT

The family of a New Jersey mother-of-two who died last month is furious Facebook did not remove a disturbing photo she posted moments before she took her own life.

Pamela Bryce-Elarabi died on June 23 at a New Jersey hospital, hours after she posted a graphic image to her Facebook page of herself preparing to commit suicide.

According to Market Watch, the picture was so upsetting that her sister Gillian Luchejko called their brother and asked him to go by Elarabi’s New Jersey home to check on her.

By the time the brother arrived, friends who saw Elarabi’s post had already sent police and paramedics to her Hillsborough home.

Elarabi, who was a yoga instructor, was rushed to the hospital but died after her family made the difficult decision to remove life support. Several of her friends wrote in the comments section of her posts that the 49-year-old had reportedly hung herself.

Luchejko told Market Watch that as her and family stood by Elarabi’s side at the hospital, they were bombarded with messages from concerned friends who saw the image Elarabi had posted.

‘People kept texting us, asking what was going on, and what the Facebook post was about, and I was thinking, “I can’t answer you right now because she is dying,’” Luchejko said. ‘Everyone felt helpless’.

The family said they contacted Facebook about the image and more than 200 of Elarabi's friends reported it to administrators, but the company did not take it down.

It remained at the top of Elarabi’s page for three days after her death until her 26-year-old daughter found her mom's password and deleted the post herself.

‘It was very traumatic for her. Her children are now traumatized because this is the last image they saw of their mom – they can’t remember her the way she was,' she told the outlet.

More of the story here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5952257/Family-says-Facebook-failed-remove-disturbing-photo-mother-two-posted-moments-suicide.html

Re: Shame on Facebook!

happycat — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:01:20 GMT

Very sad indeed that her daughter had to delete that post.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

millieshops — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:05:26 GMT

@KingstonsMomI hope as the family directs their anger to Facebook, that helps them deal with the anger at people actually in their lives.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

hopi — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:14:33 GMT

People are constantly appalled at Facebook's antics and policies yet no one quits the site. So all the shaming goes to waste.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

Mistreatedbycs — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:19:25 GMT

That doesn't surprise me one bit.

Have you ever tried to "contact" FB, good luck.

There is no response and for an entire "palace" of employees, no one can help and no one answers.

I still can't believe people are still "duped" by FB, all they are doing is selling your information to advertisers but I guess at the cost of you are using their product for free.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

goldensrbest — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:31:16 GMT

My question is ,why did she put it on facebook? To have someone stop her ,or to have people that cared for her ,have guilt?

Re: Shame on Facebook!

Nataliesgramma — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:37:35 GMT

Doesn't surprise me...

Re: Shame on Facebook!

Equuleus — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:43:53 GMT

Why is it FB's fault?

Re: Shame on Facebook!

KingstonsMom — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:44:03 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
That doesn't surprise me one bit.

Have you ever tried to "contact" FB, good luck.

There is no response and for an entire "palace" of employees, no one can help and no one answers.

I still can't believe people are still "duped" by FB, all they are doing is selling your information to advertisers but I guess at the cost of you are using their product for free.

@Mistreatedbycs

That's exactly why I'm not on FB.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

KingstonsMom — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:50:57 GMT

@Equuleus wrote:
Why is it FB's fault?

@Equuleus

Seriously??

FB's fault is in not removing the suicide post after the family and 200 other users alerted them to it.

Finally, the FAMILY had to hack her FB account to remove the post, which her family, friends and CHILDREN saw of her preparing to hang herself, which she did.

An image I'm sure (and they say) that they'll never forget.

SMH.....in shame.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

MalteseMomma — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 18:21:32 GMT

Sorry for the faimly but It is her own fault not FB imo

She most likely wanted everyone to see it or someone to stop her.Who knows but FB is NOT to blame for her picture being there......sadly to say......she is!!!!!! imo

Every family has jobs to do they do not like after a death......blameing FB is NOT one of them!!! Obivously the family was not too close with her ,or they would have been aware she had problems and kept a closer loving eye on her....

Sometimes FB is the only "friend" someone has!!!!....imo!

Re: Shame on Facebook!

KingstonsMom — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:20:36 GMT

@MalteseMomma wrote:
Sorry for the faimly but It is her own fault not FB imo

She most likely wanted everyone to see it or someone to stop her.Who knows but FB is NOT to blame for her picture being there......sadly to say......she is!!!!!! imo

Every family has jobs to do they do not like after a death......blameing FB is NOT one of them!!! Obivously the family was not too close with her ,or they would have been aware she had problems and kept a closer loving eye on her....

Sometimes FB is the only "friend" someone has!!!!....imo!

@MalteseMomma

IMO, regardless of the reason the victim posted the video, would it have killed FB to delete the video of her preparing to hang herself, after over 200 requests from family, friends and the public, out of respect?

I guess I just don't get this FB obsession.....my bad.

ETA: Re: the bolded part of your post above, my closest brother committed suicide not long ago and he had no history of depression or mental illness and we talked at least once a day (usually more), even though we lived on opposite coasts (free long distance) and there was never a sign.

So your assumption is way off base and insulting, to be honest.

Sometimes it's best to not make general statements about something you have no experience with, just a thought.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

Marp — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:13:33 GMT

How many have taken the time to set up what is to be done with their FB account after they have passed?

Your Legacy Contact

A legacy contact is someone you choose to manage your account after you pass away. They'll be able to do things like pin a post on your timeline, respond to new friend requests and update your profile picture. They won't post as you or see your messages. Learn more.

We'll send your legacy contact an email explaining what this means. You'll also have the option to send them a message right away. They won't be notified again until your account is memorialized.

Account Deletion

You've requested to have your account permanently deleted after death. Once someone lets us know you've passed away, no one will be able to see your profile again. If you want friends and family to be able to visit your profile and share memories in the future, you can choose to

Annual Reminder

We'll send you a notification once a year to check that your legacy contact settings are how you want them. If you prefer, you can

Re: Shame on Facebook!

MoJoV — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:21:03 GMT

Thats disgusting. How awful for the family. I got off FB awhile ago when I heard about their dirty dealings last year. I did enjoy certain groups I was in but it just isn't worth it to stay on.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

CelticCrafter — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:23:37 GMT

@Marp - within hours of my brother passing away, people were posting on his page - RIP.

I deactivated his account the next day, not wanting the unsavories that lived in his town to know his house was now empty. Too late, it was broken into and things were stolen.

Fast forward to about a year ago, this deactivated account has some how been hacked and his youngest daughter, the one that handled his estate refuses to do anything about it, she thinks it's so great that she's seeing memories come up. It's really very upsetting to me and I know I can have it shut down but I'm not about to provide FB with copies of my personal information because after 7 years, I no longer remember any of his passwords or e-mail addresses that he may have used..

Re: Shame on Facebook!

Marp — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:38:18 GMT

@CelticCrafter wrote:
@Marp - within hours of my brother passing away, people were posting on his page - RIP.

I deactivated his account the next day, not wanting the unsavories that lived in his town to know his house was now empty. Too late, it was broken into and things were stolen.

Fast forward to about a year ago, this deactivated account has some how been hacked and his youngest daughter, the one that handled his estate refuses to do anything about it, she thinks it's so great that she's seeing memories come up. It's really very upsetting to me and I know I can have it shut down but I'm not about to provide FB with copies of my personal information because after 7 years, I no longer remember any of his passwords or e-mail addresses that he may have used..

@CelticCrafter All among the many reasons my FB account will be deleted not just deactivated or memoralized.

Unfortunately, I think many do not even bother thinking ahead and taking steps to assure what happens to their FB account is what they want not what someone else thinks best.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

sfnative — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:46:18 GMT

@Equuleus wrote:
Why is it FB's fault?

@Equuleus

This is a no-brainer:

A Facebook Admin/Moderator should have yanked not only the photo, but the entire entry. They do so all the time. In this case, an Admin/Moderator should have yanked it for the following reasons:

1. This will leave them open to a law suit by the decedant's family. It can probably be proved in court that she was not in her right mind, when she posted on FB, followed by the act of suicide. (Facebook - gross act of negligence.)

2. Having allowed the image and post to remain has caused unbelievable grief and angst to this woman's children and immediate family. (This tells us a great deal about the FB P&P, which clearly amount to a lack of "heart" within the organization. I can just see the 20 and 30-somethings sitting in their cubicles snickering.)

3. Because the entry wasn't removed by a FB moderator, FB advertisers and users are questioning their relationship with FB. (This is the best thing that can happen. I truly hope FB loses advertisers and users due to this gross act of negligence.)

Re: Shame on Facebook!

GRACIE — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 21:00:55 GMT

Facebook is no one friend.You post your pictures and your daily routine from parties to the family issues.Call me old fashion.I post here QVC on about jewelry and give my opinion on varies issues.But never give or comments on current issues that effect my personnel being. Faith,family and friends communicating verbally to help substains my life. On this form on QVC it can be helpful from dealing with ones personal issues from advice received from fellow posters.Thats a good thing! But would advised to also seek advise from family and close friends and or professional counselling when dealing with serious health or mental issues.

If you see or know of abused on fellow humans or animals report it. Follow thru.

While social media is a good thing for reporting our current issues such as recognizing someone with suicidal issues! That helpful,but not the cure.

As a society we have shut ourselves off from talking to each other.There are some who choose to put their life's on stage and wait for positive response. Sometimes that postive response is not received To me that's not life. I personally do not depend on others to justify my life.My life alone is worth all l have received, and will continue to receive thru faith,family and friends.

Re: Shame on Facebook!

KingstonsMom — Sat, 14 Jul 2018 21:07:20 GMT

@sfnative wrote:
@Equuleus wrote:
Why is it FB's fault?
@Equuleus

This is a no-brainer:

A Facebook Admin/Moderator should have yanked not only the photo, but the entire entry. They do so all the time. In this case, an Admin/Moderator should have yanked it for the following reasons:

1. This will leave them open to a law suit by the decedant's family. It can probably be proved in court that she was not in her right mind, when she posted on FB, followed by the act of suicide. (Facebook - gross act of negligence.)

2. Having allowed the image and post to remain has caused unbelievable grief and angst to this woman's children and immediate family. (This tells us a great deal about the FB P&P, which clearly amount to a lack of "heart" within the organization. I can just see the 20 and 30-somethings sitting in their cubicles snickering.)

3. Because the entry wasn't removed by a FB moderator, FB advertisers and users are questioning their relationship with FB. (This is the best thing that can happen. I truly hope FB loses advertisers and users due to this gross act of negligence.)

@sfnative

Re: Shame on Facebook!

hsawaknow — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 00:18:13 GMT

Some people give away all their power to Facebook and dont even realize it. I personally hate F/B