topic Re: Snarky Comments in Community Chat

Snarky Comments

grandma r — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:04:02 GMT

Usually I try to ignore such comments, but, for the past year or so a certain neighbor feels the need to be unkind. For whatever reason, she only makes comments if another person is present.

For instance, I was working outside wearing faded jeans and a tee shirt, no makeup except for eyebrows (I don't have any). Anyway, she and her husband were passing by and stopped to chat. The husband said my hair looked nice(I had lost my hair due to illness in the past). Before I could say thank you, she chimed in with "she always likes to look like a beauty queen"!! Beauty queen???? I was a sweaty mess from weeding!!! I didn't acknowledge her comment, but, thanked the husband about noticing my hair and said I needed to get back to work.

A month or so later we ran into this couple at a local eatery. I was wearing a D&Co tee shirt dress and flats. Yes, I was showered, had makeup and jewelry on, and my hair was fixed. Her first comment was " well, aren't you fancy??". I smiled and my husband said our table was ready.

At my age, I really don't want or need a confrontation, however, I can't figure out why this woman is being so snarky. We have known her for 30+ years, as neighbors more so than friends. She has made comments over the years and I have ignored them. Ever since my illness and recovery she is worse. I am not the only neighbor that gets these remarks either.

Thanks for listening!!!! I think I will just continue to not comment to her. Although, some days I would really like to shut her up! I just don't understand why some people feel the need to be so unkind, especially to people they really only know to see.

Re: Snarky Comments

YorkieonmyPillow — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:07:59 GMT

Sounds like she is JEALOUS.

Her husband complimented you, so therefore you must be taken down a peg or two.

Pathetic.

Just continue being awesome while she watches helplessly....

Re: Snarky Comments

on the bay — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:09:16 GMT

@grandma r-

Jealousy!

And she probably feels better herself by putting you down because you do look nice.

A natural cruel streak.

I would just realize that is her personality and be glad you aren't like her, continually hurting other people on purpose!

You can feel sorry for her.

Re: Snarky Comments

butterfly123 — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:11:49 GMT

@grandma r

I posted in Positive Thoughts a few weeks ago that people who tear you down do so because of their insecurities and turmoil in their lives.

In other words, you’re not the problem, she is.

Re: Snarky Comments

hellodali — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:13:07 GMT

I totally agree with the two responses! Jealousy -- plain and simple. I feel sorry for her that she can't accept her husband giving someone a nice compliment. She must have little or no self-confidence.

Just keep doing what you are doing. You are the better person.

Re: Snarky Comments

I am still oxox — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:13:23 GMT

Ugh there are some women who can not stand when others get attention, we need to build each other up not tear each other down

Re: Snarky Comments

AuntG — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:14:57 GMT

If you look better than her when you are dirty from weeding, my guess is she is jealous. Ask her husband quite bluntly, "is she always this rude?"

Re: Snarky Comments

grandma r — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:15:16 GMT

Thanks, ladies. I suppose some people make themselves feel better at the expense of others.

Re: Snarky Comments

Kachina624 — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:15:47 GMT

Perhaps this person is not so much snarky as she is socially inept and doesn't know how to deliver a compliment or greeting without sarcasm. Since she does it to other people too, I wouldn't take it personally and just consider the source. I think you've handled it well, just continue to ignore her. I bet she has few, if any, friends.

Re: Snarky Comments

grandma r — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:18:00 GMT

@AuntG .I'd love to, but, he has to go home with her!!!! Besides, I've heard her talk to him and it is not nice!!!

Re: Snarky Comments

Foolywooly11 — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:18:19 GMT

I definitely agree with the op's- JEALOUSY.

Re: Snarky Comments

viva923 — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:23:41 GMT

her husband noticed your hair and other such stuff. She is quite jealous of you. She probably wants you to feel bad about yourself because this is the only way she can feel more beautiful about herself in her husband eyes.

Re: Snarky Comments

sunala — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:26:26 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
Sounds like she is JEALOUS.

Her husband complimented you, so therefore you must be taken down a peg or two.

Pathetic.

Just continue being awesome while she watches helplessly....

@YorkieonmyPillow- I thought the exact same thing!!! Jealous old hag!

Remember, when they go low, we go high. You're doing a great job; don't stop now!

Re: Snarky Comments

grandma r — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:31:57 GMT

Thank you all so much. The comments can really get to me if I'm having a bad day. I was finally telling my daughter about this and one of my adult granddaughters overheard. Her comment was "Grandma, just look her in the eye and ask 'what is your problem?'" .As I said before, I don't need a confrontation. Your comments reinforced that ignoring her is better. Thanks, again!!! I really needed your help!!! You kindness means more than I can express!

Re: Snarky Comments

Mistic — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:34:10 GMT

YUP, I AGREE, TOO ~ SHE'S JEALOUS!

Re: Snarky Comments

StephfromIdaho — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:34:32 GMT

Just continue to be your beautiful self. Do t worry about her, just say thank you.

Re: Snarky Comments

drizzellla — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:39:43 GMT

Good for you! Looking like a Beauty Queen while weeding. That is quite an accomplishment. Keep up the good work. Please continue to make her jealous.

I don't know why some women are like that. But please continue to be "fancy". I think you are enjoying life and please continue to do so.

Re: Snarky Comments

SahmIam — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:42:30 GMT

@grandma r You better believe that:

1) She does this to OTHER women as well

2) Her snark means EVERYONE including her husband knows she is a jealous $itch.

Smile and hold your head up high. Do NOT lower yourself to her level with a snarky come-back. In fact, pity her because she has such an ugly heart. Hugs.

Re: Snarky Comments

on the bay — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:46:32 GMT

Once I sat outside on a bench while my daughter was getting an mri. The woman who sat next to me was so beautiful and was wearing a pretty dress and makeup and she was there for cancer treatments. When she told me all she had been thru I was so amazed and inspired. She said she always wanted to look nice because she hoped it made people feel good and she did! She also had a beautiful personality.

I will never forget her beautiful attitude.

And a neighbor of mine who was much older, always looked so pretty with the best coral lipstick and upswept hair and a bikini even going to the pool. I was also inspired by her.

And a very special lady at church in her upper eightys always looks like the best dressed lovely lady. She puts so much thought and joy into it-her nails, hair, suits, jewelry. She is my total idol. Not only that but everyone loves her and she makes everyone feel so special and loved!

Everyone knows what it is to be hugged by her!

@grandma r-

You remind me of all these women.

They are beautiful and inspiring and I love to see them every time!

You just keep on keeping on being beautiful inside and out, garden gloves and all!

Re: Snarky Comments

Coquille — Sat, 23 Jun 2018 01:46:49 GMT

@grandma r I completely agree with @StephfromIdaho You be the bigger and better person and just say, Thank You! As others have said, it has nothing to do with you. It's her problem, Don't let it be yours. Keep being your magnificent self!