topic Re: PLEASE in Community Chat

PLEASE

fourpaws56 — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:10:11 GMT

A kind word, a smile, a helping hand...we never know what others are going through,some of us share our feelings, others don't, and that's okay. Just be kind...thank you!

Re: PLEASE

Susiecucumber — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:18:23 GMT

If only more people would do it.

Re: PLEASE

OKPrincess — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:25:06 GMT

I saved this quote that was posted earlier because of so much truth in the saying.

Re: PLEASE

Skididdy — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:25:54 GMT

I agree, kindness does matter always.

But some things are unavoidable to comment on when they are spot on !

But we can express without being totally unkind and unfeeling.

Re: PLEASE

happycat — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:32:49 GMT

@fourpaws56 wrote:
A kind word, a smile, a helping hand...we never know what others are going through,some of us share our feelings, others don't, and that's okay. Just be kind...thank you!

This is very true and a kind word can make a huge difference, especially when someone is feeling down or like they are not enough. I know from experience.

Re: PLEASE

Drythe — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:40:58 GMT

@fourpaws56

I am in agreement. There are many sincere, kind hearts here; they are wonderful to know and should be treasured.

However, some come with the intent of being mean / rude, and having the last word. Perhaps they have no other resource and need to make themselves feel better.

They are not easy to “hear”, or pass by.

Re: PLEASE

deepwaterdotter — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:49:19 GMT

@Drythe wrote:
@fourpaws56

I am in agreement. There are many sincere, kind hearts here; they are wonderful to know and should be treasured.

However, some come with the intent of being mean / rude, and having the last word. Perhaps they have no other resource and need to make themselves feel better.

They are not easy to “hear”, or pass by.

How sad for these posters.

Re: PLEASE

seaBreeze — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 19:56:40 GMT

Hello OP, I assume you are an animal lover from your nic... if so, I find those who adore pets usually have a kind heart like no other. Your words are wise, thanks for the post~!

Re: PLEASE

jeanlake — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 22:32:07 GMT

Thank you for posting. I think more people would originate posts if they didn't have to endure slings and arrows of a few people just waiting to pounce. That being said -- the majority of posters are delightful.

Re: PLEASE

Mominohio — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 22:39:43 GMT

In theory I agree.

In practice, it gets muddled and there is often a grey area.

What one person perceives as unkind is seen as 'realistic' or maybe even 'tough love' that someone needs to hear.

And a pattern of someone being unkind to others (here or in real life) sometimes necessitates giving back in kind, as they don't seem to respond to kindness or understanding.

Re: PLEASE

Preds — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 22:49:49 GMT

So many try to help and so many do. Some hear it and some don't. Kind words can help, but they can also fall on deaf ears.

Please show respect, but understand when others don't. We all have our own thoughts and struggles. We all make it with a little help from someone or something.

@fourpaws56 ... I send my helping hand to you. Keep going strong and hold on to you. You are making it and should hold your head high. Many here have got your back. They may not know it and you may not know it, but they do.

Re: PLEASE

fourpaws56 — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 00:08:01 GMT

@Preds

Re: PLEASE

Goldengate8361 — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 00:14:36 GMT

@fourpaws56 such a great reminder! Sometimes the smallest gestures of kindness (frequently from strangers) can make such an impact in my life! Kindness matters!!!!

Re: PLEASE

fourpaws56 — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 00:18:18 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
@fourpaws56 such a great reminder! Sometimes the smallest gestures of kindness (frequently from strangers) can make such an impact in my life! Kindness matters!!!!

So true, and it is something everyone can afford to give....

Re: PLEASE

feline groovy — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 01:01:01 GMT

Empathy is the answer to all the world's problems.

Lovely post, @fourpaws56.

Re: PLEASE

catwhisperer — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 01:01:26 GMT

I'm not sure if this thread is in reference to comments being made on these boards or among friends/family, so I hope my post isn't considered "off topic".

I have several friends and family members who continually call/email/message me wanting emotional support for all their problems. I have always been there for them and tried to be supportive over the years, but I am at a point where I have so much stress in my life, I have all I can do to get through a day and maintain my sanity. I just don't have the energy emotionally to deal with all their problems on top of my own. (They are all very much aware of what I am dealing with).

Once they get emotional support from me, I don't hear from them for weeks, until another bomb drops in their lives. I have finally gotten to the point where I don't answer their calls anymore and am not not quick to respond to their emails/messages wanting sympathy.

Anyone else dealing with this? If so, how do you handle it?

Re: PLEASE

Lucky Charm — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 01:20:16 GMT

@catwhisperer wrote:
I'm not sure if this thread is in reference to comments being made on these boards or among friends/family, so I hope my post isn't considered "off topic".

I have several friends and family members who continually call/email/message me wanting emotional support for all their problems. I have always been there for them and tried to be supportive over the years, but I am at a point where I have so much stress in my life, I have all I can do to get through a day and maintain my sanity. I just don't have the energy emotionally to deal with all their problems on top of my own. (They are all very much aware of what I am dealing with).

Once they get emotional support from me, I don't hear from them for weeks, until another bomb drops in their lives. I have finally gotten to the point where I don't answer their calls anymore and am not not quick to respond to their emails/messages wanting sympathy.

Anyone else dealing with this? If so, how do you handle it?

I'm not dealing with this catwhisperer, but if I was, I would ask people to please stop. Tell that you're having a tough time, too, and it's hard for you to deal with everybody else's problems. If they are understanding, they will understand.

As for whatever you are dealing with in your life, is there anyway to attend a support meeting? It does help to *talk* things out. To get it out of your system, your fears, your anxiety, and just to have an ear listening.

Re: PLEASE

YorkieonmyPillow — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 02:22:39 GMT

@catwhisperer I handle it by ending the "friendship," because IMHO that isn't a friendship - not what you are describing.

You are functioning as their unpaid therapist. They dump it all on you so they don't have to work through it.

The last person who tried that on me is no longer in my life.....it gets boring after a while. My time is as valuable as theirs..........

Re: PLEASE

JaneMarple — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 02:26:22 GMT

@catwhisperer wrote:
I'm not sure if this thread is in reference to comments being made on these boards or among friends/family, so I hope my post isn't considered "off topic".

I have several friends and family members who continually call/email/message me wanting emotional support for all their problems. I have always been there for them and tried to be supportive over the years, but I am at a point where I have so much stress in my life, I have all I can do to get through a day and maintain my sanity. I just don't have the energy emotionally to deal with all their problems on top of my own. (They are all very much aware of what I am dealing with).

Once they get emotional support from me, I don't hear from them for weeks, until another bomb drops in their lives. I have finally gotten to the point where I don't answer their calls anymore and am not not quick to respond to their emails/messages wanting sympathy.

Anyone else dealing with this? If so, how do you handle it?

Caller I D

Re: PLEASE

catwhisperer — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 02:26:32 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@catwhisperer I handle it by ending the "friendship," because IMHO that isn't a friendship - not what you are describing.

You are functioning as their unpaid therapist. They dump it all on you so they don't have to work through it.

The last person who tried that on me is no longer in my life.....it gets boring after a while. My time is as valuable as theirs..........

Hey girl....thank you so much for your comments. You are so right, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I just don't respond, hoping they will get the hint. Apparently, they don't.