topic Re: Birthday Gift Given Back in Community Chat

Birthday Gift Given Back

hsawaknow — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 06:44:57 GMT

I rent a room in a large house. A woman lives in a room with her 2 children. The children are homeschooled and while their Moms at work not permitted to go outside or leave their room.

The girl turned 16 today and I put a gift outside their door. I bought her the philosophy Birthday Confetti and gave her the lip gloss.

Her Mother knocked on my door and handed the gift back to me and informed me that "she could not accept the gift". I asked her why and she replied "she just cant".

I was taken back, I thought maybe it might be a religion reason but a JW is allowed to accept gifts even though they dont celebrate things like birthdays and Christmas.

The Mother is from Africa and they didnt celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter so I wonder if its a custom thing or she just didn't want me to give her daughter a gift. To be honest it kind of hurt my feelings. Her daughter is very sweet.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

qvcaddition — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 07:02:56 GMT

@hsawaknow

@hsawaknow wrote:
I rent a room in a large house. A woman lives in a room with her 2 children. The children are homeschooled and while their Moms at work not permitted to go outside or leave their room.
The girl turned 16 today and I put a gift outside their door. I bought her the philosophy Birthday Confetti and gave her the lip gloss.
Her Mother knocked on my door and handed the gift back to me and informed me that "she could not accept the gift". I asked her why and she replied "she just cant".
I was taken back, I thought maybe it might be a religion reason but a JW is allowed to accept gifts even though they dont celebrate things like birthdays and Christmas.
The Mother is from Africa and they didnt celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter so I wonder if its a custom thing or she just didn't want me to give her daughter a gift. To be honest it kind of hurt my feelings. Her daughter is very sweet.

So sorry.Unless they changed, JW have gift giving times, but will not accept a BD gift. The religion is world wide. They would have told you the reason.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

qualitygal — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 09:33:00 GMT

While it was a nice idea from you, don't feel hurt. Honor the mother's wishes, for whatever the reason. Continue to be kind.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

Nataliesgramma — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 09:51:03 GMT

Well.....just honor her wishes, but I wouldn't take it personally....

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

Imaoldhippie — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 09:56:32 GMT

Is it just me that thinks those kids are "prisioners".

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

OKPrincess — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:10:09 GMT

@hsawaknow It was a kind act on your part but for whatever reason she wouldn’t accept the gift. Respect her wishes and continue to smile and be kind with cards.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

Sweet_Serenity — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:32:02 GMT

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
Is it just me that thinks those kids are "prisioners".

@Imaoldhippie

This is more important than the gift! Children forbidden to leave.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

tockerman — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:42:06 GMT

sorry your feelings being hurt? But kind of odd that a women and two children would rent a room in a large house? One room they must be poor or something is wrong with that situation. I could not imagine being looked up in a small bedroom with my two kids in someone else house? where do they cook?

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

luvmybeetle — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:44:58 GMT

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
Is it just me that thinks those kids are "prisioners".

This was my first thought also. Just be kind and patient and you may find out soon. It was very nice of you to offer the gift.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

Bri63 — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:59:59 GMT

It was very nice of you to buy a gift for the girl.

I feel very sorry for them if they're not allowed to leave that room all day. How did you find out it was her birthday?

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

phoenixbrd — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 12:58:42 GMT

@hsawaknow This situation is disturbing. It was kind of you to think of the girl. However it sounds as if there are larger issues than the gift. I am wondering how long this woman is at work. This raises several questions regarding leaving the children in a room, as well as when is she "homeschooling" these children? "Not permitted to go outside or leave their room".....I don't believe in interfering with another's home life, but I know I would be concerned about the children in this situation. There is so much that we don't know about the sitution to determine further action.

@hsawaknow wrote:
I rent a room in a large house. A woman lives in a room with her 2 children. The children are homeschooled and while their Moms at work not permitted to go outside or leave their room.
The girl turned 16 today and I put a gift outside their door. I bought her the philosophy Birthday Confetti and gave her the lip gloss.
Her Mother knocked on my door and handed the gift back to me and informed me that "she could not accept the gift". I asked her why and she replied "she just cant".
I was taken back, I thought maybe it might be a religion reason but a JW is allowed to accept gifts even though they dont celebrate things like birthdays and Christmas.
The Mother is from Africa and they didnt celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter so I wonder if its a custom thing or she just didn't want me to give her daughter a gift. To be honest it kind of hurt my feelings. Her daughter is very sweet.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

151949 — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 11:34:34 GMT

Since we can't possibly know what culture or horrendous situation they left behind - we can't judge the Mom or her rules. There are some horrific situations in Africa. She just hasn't adjusted to being here and being safe.Also, we don't know about the neighborhood where this house is located.(no offence intended to the OP)

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

FranandZoe — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 12:35:31 GMT

I know you meant well but unless you're close to them I can't imagine why you'd give a gift. Some people just don't want charity. Maybe the Mom doesn't want to "owe" you - you know? Maybe she can't possibly reciprocate and just doesn't want to get involved. Unless you know someone's circumstances, are close to them, probably best to not get involved.

How are the kids home schooled if she's not at home?

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

goldensrbest — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 12:45:06 GMT

I know you gave her the gift out of the goodness of your heart, perhaps they just are not comfortable in their surroundings yet, keep speaking to mom and kids ,they may well need a friend.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

okaywitheasypay — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 12:58:06 GMT

Fear? they have probably encountered ugly biases if they speak with an accent.

It was a kindness of you to give a lovely gift .I will bet you have reached out and had conversations with the young girl. I understand your hurt.

I would suggest to keep going with being neighborly with a watchful eye out for any egregious actions . There are some red flags as other posters have mentioned. One can report things to authorities anonymously and let them sort it out if you feel the need.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

qbetzforreal — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 13:23:59 GMT

Perhaps, even through you all live in the same house-you are considered a stranger and most people don't accept gifts from strangers. Don't take it personally.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

San Antonio Gal — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 13:31:37 GMT

As other posters have asked, how were you able to even find out about the girl's birthday if they can't leave the room?

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

missy1 — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 13:34:57 GMT

Is the woman with the two kids the owner of the house?

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

goldensrbest — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 13:51:38 GMT

@missy1 wrote:
Is the woman with the two kids the owner of the house?

I would think not.

Re: Birthday Gift Given Back

goldensrbest — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 13:52:39 GMT

@San Antonio Gal wrote:
As other posters have asked, how were you able to even find out about the girl's birthday if they can't leave the room?

She said while their mom is at work,read her post.