topic Re: Are there people you try to avoid? in Community Chat

Are there people you try to avoid?

cherry — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:32:48 GMT

We stopped to get a sandwich ,and in the store there is a young woman that is nice enough, but every time we run into her ,she is campaigning for someone ,and tries took hook us into supporting them

I don't like a strong arm technique ,and I really don't even like politics, nor does my husband. Even after politely saying no , she pursued us. Why is it you can't tell some people no, politely ,and they let it go at that? This happens with her , every time there is an election

If I run into her again I am going to try to duck around a corner. I really hate to do this ,but I am sick of getting ambushed

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

VaBelle35 — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:35:29 GMT

I stopped going to Giant Food because they allow people to solicit in front of their store every day. I have no problem with soliciting in front of the store, but they allow them to block the doors and you have to go through them to get in.

I wrote to Giant about this and suggested moving them back a few feet and nothing has changed.

So I changed. Now I shop at Harris Teeter.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

AuntG — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:38:33 GMT

Anyone I know when shopping. It's annoying when people stand in a store and talk. There's one person who calls and is a non-stop talker. Some days I dread saying hello, but if I'm home, I always answer the phone and talk to her.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

TenderMercies — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:40:12 GMT

Oh, yes. There’s a guy who always shows up to events related to where I work. If you end up getting cornered by him, he’ll talk your ear off for an hour, and it’s impossible to get away from him. He also has bad breath and is a close talker. I always turn and walk away whenever he’s in my line of vision.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Annabellethecat66 — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:47:18 GMT

@cherry I've read many of your posts and know you are a sweet, kind person.

Here's my take on this. Sometimes I realize it's easier to give advice than to take it, but here goes.

Just tell her (just speak for yourself for now) that you have no intention of getting involved in politics AT ALL.

Look her straight in the eye when you say it. Don't smile and sound very serious.

Think about it this way (this is going to sound terrible, but I really believe this). Some people are so freaking hard-headed it takes a verbal voice as if you were speaking to a dog or cat to make them understand just how serious you really are about this or any other subject.

When one talks to a dog or cat (or even your child) if you are the least bit wishy washy way (humm??? is that a term in the dictionary) kids and animals pick up on it immediately! As the mother of 3 girls (now adults) they know when Mom is serious and if they can make her give in.

My guess is this person senses some 'lilt' in your voice you aren't aware of (probably because you are a kind person who doesn't want to be rude) and they're taking advantage of you.

So, for goodness sakes, there's no need for you "YOU" to avoid this person. Don't exert the energy. You don't deserve to be agitated anymore by someone so inconsiderate.

Now, go ahead and the next time you see her. Look her right in the eyes and say that to her. Don't smile and mean it, mean every word of it. I guarantee you, she won't bother you again about this.

So what if it hurts her feelings. She's inconsiderate or she'd have been gracious to understand the words no interest meant just that.

Take care and thanks for sharing. I enjoy corresponding with you here as you are a lovely and considerate person. Have a wonderful day, I think you deserve a wonderful day. Annabelle/Linda

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Nancy Drew — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 02:02:56 GMT

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Regal Bee — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:53:16 GMT

Yes, a couple of retired people in our neighborhood who think we have nothing to do but gab all day. We are retired also......but stay busy with lots of projects.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Ms tyrion2 — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:53:39 GMT

There always seems to be someone I front of the grocery store representing an organization. Girl scouts, salvation army, petitions...

My solution is not to make eye contact, don't slow my stride and politely say no thanks. No one bothers me any further.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

RedTop — Wed, 30 May 2018 17:58:53 GMT

Yes, I actually have a list of 8 people I try my best to avoid.

The one I absolutely HATE to run into is a former coworker who wallows in her health issues, and is so hard to get away from.

The other is my husbands cousin who has her nose in everyone’s business and tries to pump me for news on all of our family members who won’t speak to her.

Both of these people catch me in the grocery store 1-2x a year.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

pdlinda — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:01:47 GMT

I have obnoxious, loud neighbors who try to "corner" me whenever our paths meet either leaving or coming into the house. I refuse to play their"game" and simply put my phone up to my ear and pretend I'm talking to avoid either of them. So far, it's working.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

151949 — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:04:11 GMT

My DH has a buddy - he is elderly - mid to late 80s. Actually a very nice man but he is always sweaty and he always wants to hug me. I don't particularly like hugging much anyway and definitely not someone who is sweaty and smelly. When I see him if I can't just get away I try to position myself so DH is between him & me. Finally my DH told him that I don't like being hugged but sometimes he forgets.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Trinity11 — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:04:53 GMT

I am good with boundaries @cherry. The older I become the less tolerance I have for people who uninvited get into my space.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Annabellethecat66 — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:05:34 GMT

@NancyDrewe Yes! I have learned over the years some people just don't get it.

I've also learned I don't have the energy to work my life around TRYING to avoid them (tried it, didn't work, now too old and too tired).

Because of this I've been known to be called a B. That works too because the people doing the calling are full of themselves anyway, friends know I try not to be (a B that is).

I just don't think it's up to cherry to avoid this person. She's sweet and shouldn't have her life affected by this. I hope she realizes that.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

cherry — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:09:11 GMT

I did tell her today ,I hate to vote. I thought it would take the wind out of her sails. She turned to my husband immediately ,and said do you like to vote?. I almost burst out laughing. I think she is just thick as 2 planks @Annabellethecat66

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

ALRATIBA — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:20:39 GMT

No ... I can't think of anyone I want to avoid. I enjoy running into people.

I've lived here in this large apartment complex for about 25 years and know so many people. I can barely leave my apartment without running into someone ... at the mailboxes, in the laundry room, at the Concierge office, at the coffee shop, at the supermarket, in the park, at the Green Market. The only way to avoid people is to stay indoors.

Around election time - there are people on just about every corner handing out info. Candidates in local election shaking hands. It's fun to chat with them.

When Schumer was running for senate the first time ... I'm walking to the bus stop one morning and who's on the corner but Chuck introducing himself and shaking hands.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

lulu1 — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:20:40 GMT

There are people I avoid in real life and here.

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

proudlyfromNJ — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:21:56 GMT

@lulu1 wrote:
There are people I avoid in real life and here.

@lulu1. Same here! LOL

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

jackthebear — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:24:08 GMT

@cherry wrote:
We stopped to get a sandwich ,and in the store there is a young woman that is nice enough, but every time we run into her ,she is campaigning for someone ,and tries took hook us into supporting them

I don't like a strong arm technique ,and I really don't even like politics, nor does my husband. Even after politely saying no , she pursued us. Why is it you can't tell some people no, politely ,and they let it go at that? This happens with her , every time there is an election

If I run into her again I am going to try to duck around a corner. I really hate to do this ,but I am sick of getting ambushed

just walk right in and avoid eye contact,

failing this, smile and say no thanks, keep moving

don't fall for these idiots

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Ms tyrion2 — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:27:37 GMT

@lulu1 wrote:
There are people I avoid in real life and here.

Me too!

If truth be told, more here than in RL.😁

Re: Are there people you try to avoid?

Laura14 — Wed, 30 May 2018 18:28:27 GMT

I'm still waiting for your book @Annabellethecat66!!