topic Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money? in Community Chat

Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

JBKO — Thu, 03 May 2018 13:51:10 GMT

As in, they probably wouldn't have married their SO if he/she didn't have as much $$$? I used to work for a plastic surgeon who had a girlfriend that was defintely a golddigger. They had some things in common but if he ever found himself in debt, she'd be out. I had a relationship with someone who was very generous but eventually found himself in a rough patch. I'll admit; it was much nicer when he was doing well but I was with him for his personality and intelligence, something that was very important to me.

I'll be the first to admit that my interest in someone would increase if I were to find out he was doing well for himself. But there HAS to be interest in the first place. I don't think I could handle someone that didn't share the same values but had lots of money.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

golding76 — Thu, 03 May 2018 13:54:52 GMT

Yes, and did it several times thereafter. Oddly enough, she was a member of "the Greatest Generarion."

Cold and calculating.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Group 5 minus 1 — Thu, 03 May 2018 13:58:29 GMT

If I did they certainly didn't tell.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Mj12 — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:01:22 GMT

I have an Aunt that married for what she thought was money. During their divorce, she found out his medical practice wasn't nearly as luvrative as she hoped. Dumb.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

CelticCrafter — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:01:45 GMT

I know it doesn't answer your question but other peoples money and stuff doesn't impress me.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

World Traveler — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:04:39 GMT

Yes. But both knew from the start and it worked for them. They each had needs that the other was able to help with.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Sweetbay magnolia — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:04:42 GMT

Yes. My sister's husband. The louse.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Annabellethecat66 — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:24:29 GMT

No because everyone I knew got married very young (like I did) and none of us had any money to start with.

Later in life my late husband became very successful and I always thought women who knew him (through business) might be interested in him because they'd know how successful he was.

He was always all about business and didn't show any interest in other women, just not interested. To be honest most women were intimidated by him just because he was 'all about business' not into small talk, etc. They'd come to me to tell me what the wanted or needed from him (business-wise). I made several new female friends that way! Ha!

Actually, I think that's what happened to my daughter. Her husband became very successful. I think this woman (working in an area where she knew how successful he was) 'worked' on him and ......long story...short...my daughter is now getting a divorce.

I remember one day way before we knew about the divorce she said to me, "Mom, I think I'd about to become a member of the 'First Wives Club'. Not too long after that HE filed for divorce. The interesting thing though is that he'll never marry this woman because the only person he's really interested in is himself....My daughter even said, "I don't blame HER at all. It just happened to be this woman who pushed him. She used every trick in the book" (telling him how great he was)."

But I think that's maybe different from what the OP is talking about.....but I don't know that you can separate the two things very often.

If neither party is married I don't see anything wrong with it. I have to wonder if it would last but (I believe) like all marriages, if you really work at it (the marriage) much of the time you can keep it going. However, some people (especially males because they are usually the successful one's) believe there's something better out there (as in, never truly satisfied).

If you read and believe the 'talking heads' things are slowly changing. As more women become successful and are out in the work-place around others, they are 'messing around' more than ever (straying from the marriage, for whatever reasons).

I tend to think (while women are more likely to marry for money) most of the time they also convince themselves they are also in love with the individual (aside from the individual's money).

I know individuals who have had relationships with males who were successful in order to survive. Much of the time these women have children and are the sole support. Some call them (the polite word is 'ladies of the night') but (knowing the situation) I say, "Judge not, lest ye be judged". I think women are more likely to have relationships like this (one might call it mutual win-win) because I think females have (for want of a better word) a gene that makes them (at all costs) want to care for and protect their children. Sometimes that means doing things they'd have never in a million years thought they'd ever do.

It seems to me (unfortunately) that other women are the worst judges of ...... well...women. It would be nice if this were to change (due to the 'me too' movement).

However, unfortunately, it seems to be the movement is loosing steam. I hear more women attacking other women, for speaking out, lately than in the beginning of this 'movement'. Society has a way of becoming leery of too much....too quickly... Then the 'talking heads' move on to something more salacious. Salacious is often what get's people's attention and can pull them away from the issue at hand....

Salacious sells, unfortunately.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Tinkrbl44 — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:38:04 GMT

IMO .... There's a difference between marrying only for money, and marrying for stability ...... but not much.

For many centuries, In many parts of the world, marriages were about creating stability, and you had low expectations for anything else. Hopefully, they got along. Love was low on the list.

In modern times, for most first marriages, women get married with the goal of having children and the financial support of a partner, whether of not they have solid careers of their own.

I'm guessing that these women wouldn't call it marrying for money, but would definitely avoid a man who had no money and was in a lot of debt. His finances are at least somewhat important ... and his earning potential.

Whether or not it's apparent, people get married for all sorts of reasons besides just love. Any relationship works if both peoples' needs are being met. I had a boss once who told me that when he was looking for a wife, the most important features were that she was at least fairly attractive and was very socially adept and would be a great (not good) hostess. He was building his career, and wanted to have the right life partner by his side. Turns out, down the road, they were extremely happy.

While I cannot even begin to know all the reasons contributing to the choice of a marriage partner, I do know that love is only one factor, and most smart women will tell you that just love is not enough. Marrying ONLY for love is no guarantee that things will work out well.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

SahmIam — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:35:21 GMT

Yes. In fact, I know more that did than did not.

Tinkrbl44 made an excellent point: stability is a BIG deal depending on your circumstances, where you came from, what you want. I was always told "it's just as easy to fall for a rich guy as it is a poor guy; so why choose a poor guy?"

As Life goes on, I understand what my mother, Aunties, cousins and many other women I've met through the decades were saying when they spoke these words.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Anonymous — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:36:39 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC because it is political

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

proudlyfromNJ — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:42:57 GMT

No,I don't. But I have seen in my immediate family, the husbands became very successful so everyone leads a carefree life money wise.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

151949 — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:51:26 GMT

I don't think people who do this go around advertising it.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

SilleeMee — Thu, 03 May 2018 14:57:28 GMT

I believe you only marry once for love...and when that fails then it's for money or intimate companionship. I know

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

LilacTree — Thu, 03 May 2018 15:02:16 GMT

Oh yes. The story is long and lurid. I did tell it many years ago on this BB long before they changed the format, so I am sure it is gone and I won't give all the gory details again.

The long and short of it, she married this man because he had a successful business, not because she was the least bit attracted to him in any way. She was very careful to stay married to him long enough (twelve years) before she cooked up a "valid" reason to divorce him. She actually considered those years to be her "sacrifice," like an investment in her future.

She went for the entire business, but she wound up with half of its value ($1.5 million) and was angry about that. His son inherited the business and as far as I know still runs it. She had always hated him.

However, she ruined that entire family because her son was married to his daughter (which is how she met him). Because her daughter stayed with her husband, none of his other children has ever talked to their sister again. The ex-husband died six months after the divorce.

This woman has invested well and is very wealthy now, with three homes where she lives dependent upon the seasons. It has worked out very well for her. She actually thinks she is a good person and deserves everything she has. She has no regrets.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

Trinity11 — Thu, 03 May 2018 15:04:12 GMT

I know a lot of women who married well educated men with the potential to give them a good life. A woman can just as easily fall in love with that kind of man vs someone who is poor and hasn't done a thing to change that facet of his life.

Marrying some guy who came from a rich family? The rich generally marry in the same class. It is rare that they aren't very careful to be sure that their potential spouse isn't just there for the money.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

ID2 — Thu, 03 May 2018 15:13:04 GMT

@golding76 wrote:
Yes, and did it several times thereafter. Oddly enough, she was a member of "the Greatest Generarion."

Cold and calculating.

What does being a member of "the Greatest Generation" have to do with this discussion???

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

golding76 — Thu, 03 May 2018 15:18:53 GMT

Age reference. That's all.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

NycVixen — Thu, 03 May 2018 15:38:58 GMT

Both my parents married for ulterior motives but not for money. It was a disaster. My father who I'm getting to know now, said they've never even had a real conversation. I was stunned. With this in mind, I was certain to marry for love. Every marriage will face difficult times and without real love to carry you through, I just imagine how hard it must be.

I was told by relatives and so-called friends to dump my then boyfriend and now DH to get someone that was more stable financially. Both my parents opposed the marriage. However, I fell for his intelligence and kindness and he's doing well for himself. Most importantly, we really love one another. Knowing my parents are not the hallmark of a healthy marriage, I listened to my heart.

You have to live with this person day in and out and IMO no material comfort outweighs the burden of being with someone you dislike or do not love. You eventually get accostomed to the wealth and it must begin to weigh heavily at some point.

Being next to someone who doesn't care to know you, what you're going through and doesn't really feel anything for you seems like torture to me. My mom has never recovered from how hard her marriage was and shows signs of PTSD. They were both very cold and unloving to one another and in turn to their children. No amount of money will make me choose that.

Re: Do You Know Anyone Who Married For Money?

CANDLEQUEEN — Thu, 03 May 2018 15:28:11 GMT

Yes, and it was my cousin! She married a Denver Bronco Football player in the prime of his career, she cared for him, but she wasn't in love with him. Had he been Joe Blow working in the factory, she would not have even looked twice at him.

Long story short, they met while she was a flight attendant, and next thing you know, a huge wedding is taking place.

I mean huge, all out fancy wedding in Southern California(where she is from). After 3 years of marriage and twin infant daughters, he gets hurt, and has to retire from Professional Football.

Needless to say, their lifestyle changed quite a bit. No more Nannies,no more flying 1st Class everywhere, no more 2 beautiful homes, and endless shopping sprees.....

They divorced when the twins were about 5 years old....She has never re-married and neither has he. She has always wanted someone with lots of money.

I don't think they even had a pre-nup. He made excellent money because at that time he was their star Running Back......