topic Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends...... in Community Chat

Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

chi5925 — Sat, 12 May 2018 22:54:52 GMT

A friend emailed these to me. Enjoy.....

How to Please a Woman:

-Love her

-Die for her

-Take her to dinner

-Miss the game for her

-Buy her jewelry

-Be interested in what she has to day

How to Please a Man;

-Show up naked

-Bring beer

_______________________

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge:

"It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my Mom's place.

I opened the fridge.

The light came on.

The beer was cold...

What the heck is she talking about?

____________________________

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.

___________________________

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered.....

"who ties your shoelaces for you?"

______________________________

Every mom's lament:

I don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.

______________________________

Billion dollar idea --

A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell

"I'M JUST COOKING!"

______________________________

Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of Aisle 5.

_____________________________

My housekeeping style is best described as "There appears to have been a struggle."

_____________________________

The trouble with living along is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.

____________________________

and for the ending:

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

Nancy Drew — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 02:38:36 GMT

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

blackhole99 — Sat, 12 May 2018 23:21:11 GMT

Guess I'm lucky, I can't relate to any of that.My MIL raised a clean, healthy, very smart and loving person. I raised the same kind of son, for some lucky woman.

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

suzyQ3 — Sun, 13 May 2018 00:27:22 GMT

Has a strange ring to it today, IMO.

Typical stand-up stuff from the '50s. You know, like Henny Youngman's "Take my wife....please."

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

pupwhipped — Sun, 13 May 2018 00:27:46 GMT

@chi5925, loved it!!! Especially the "I don't have the time or crayons" one. I'm gonna try to remember that one. LOL!

Thank YOU.

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

SahmIam — Sun, 13 May 2018 01:40:55 GMT

With a household of 5 males....yep.

I just nodded through it all. Sending it to my MIL who will do the same, lol.

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

Deb665 — Sun, 13 May 2018 01:59:12 GMT

Too funny! I especially like ‘who ties your shoelaces’!

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

viva923 — Sun, 13 May 2018 02:26:53 GMT

thanks for sharing and giving me a good chuckle.

Asile 5 was a hoot

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

gidgetgh — Sun, 13 May 2018 11:12:00 GMT

Maybe it's a little too early in the morning for me. I'll try reading them again later.