topic Re: Heart surgery in Community Chat

Heart surgery

Shorty2U — Thu, 10 May 2018 05:57:47 GMT

My first husband (the father of my kids), had more heart surgery this week. I feel bad for my kids sake, and do NOT wish him bad (even though he was abusive in our marriage) but he should really feel lucky and be thankful that he IS alive, but he doesn't listen. (upsetting our kids)

He Is extremely over weight now. He has had a bypass, 12 surgeries where they clean out his arteries and he has 9 stents in his arteries (According to my kids).

I wish my Mom had all those chances. She died in 1979 during her 2nd heart attack which was so severe she coughed up blood, and she did everything right. to stay healthy..

So I am glad my kids dad is ok, but everytime this happens to him, I cant help but think, I wish my mom was so lucky. I always say my first husband has 100 lives...

And PS FYI just to add- I am re married for 11 plus years and he is remarried too..

Re: Heart surgery

LUVNLIFE — Thu, 10 May 2018 06:28:57 GMT

Don't worry what your ex should or should not be doing. He is well aware of his health and life style. Just continue being a loving support for your kids and their concerns.

Sorry for the passing of your Mother. Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with your kids.

Re: Heart surgery

Carmie — Thu, 10 May 2018 14:14:27 GMT

My mother died from heart disease when she was only 62. She did everything right too, but she worked too hard and never slowed down. Her 100th BD will be on Mother's Day this year. I really miss her.

i do believe that God allows some people to live longer than they should, even when they are very ill and don't appreciate his blessings. They are given all these extra chances so they have plenty of time to repent and ask for forgiveness.

Your mother as well as mine didn't need extra chances. They were set right with the Lord.

Re: Heart surgery

Mominohio — Thu, 10 May 2018 15:02:57 GMT

@LUVNLIFE wrote:
Don't worry what your ex should or should not be doing. He is well aware of his health and life style. Just continue being a loving support for your kids and their concerns.
Sorry for the passing of your Mother. Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with your kids.

Part of being a supportive and loving mother is being concerned (and even upset or angry) when the other parent purposely does not take care of themselves, and puts the shared children in peril, grief, concern, worry, etc.

She can't control her ex husband but to realize and verbalize his lack of concern for how his children have to deal with his self imposed health issues is indeed a concerned mother.

Not bad mouthing their father (regardless of the fact he may deserve it), but being realistic with her kids about him and his health is definitely within the realm of shared parenting.

Re: Heart surgery

nana59 — Thu, 10 May 2018 15:05:54 GMT

Like billy joel says, "only the good die young...."

Re: Heart surgery

hckynut — Thu, 10 May 2018 15:15:41 GMT

@Shorty2U

As one that has had heart attacks and several other illnesses that kill hundreds every day! Adults are free to do as they wish with their own body. This man has obviously chosen his route and appears to me he has no intention of changing.

As far as using the words "alive/living"? To me he is existing, and in my own world I do not see that as living. From what you have said in your post, it doesn't sound like he has made much effort towards living a more full life.

Not much more I have to say about those that seem to care so little about their body. Judgemental? That's up to those that read this comment of mine.

Re: Heart surgery

chrystaltree — Thu, 10 May 2018 15:23:49 GMT

It doesn't matter that you both are remarried or that the divorce was long ago. You still hold a lot of resentment toward you ex, as evidenced by this post. He's out of your life and he is his own person, why are you so concerned about something that doesn't involve you and that you cannot change? Ok, you wish he was dead and that your mother was alive. Understandable if you suffered abuse at his hands. There are some things in life that aren't forgivable and actually the bible says God will forgive, it doesn't say that we have to forgive the horrible things that were done to us. You don't have to like him, you don't have to wish him well. You are entitled to your feelings, just say the right things publicly because he is your kids' father.

Re: Heart surgery

Shorty2U — Fri, 11 May 2018 02:13:15 GMT

Thank you for the replies. I'm not resentful. Just feel bad my kids are sad about it all w their dad because hes their dad. (Just like they worried about me when I had breast cancer)

And I think of my mom, and wish she lived longer than she did. Period.

People on here jump to conclusions fast. Reminds me of when I text my kids verses talking to them. Things get misconstrued with typing vs talking I guess. lol.

Re: Heart surgery

Judaline — Fri, 11 May 2018 13:06:50 GMT

@Shorty2U wrote:
Thank you for the replies. I'm not resentful. Just feel bad my kids are sad about it all w their dad because hes their dad. (Just like they worried about me when I had breast cancer)
And I think of my mom, and wish she lived longer than she did. Period.

People on here jump to conclusions fast. Reminds me of when I text my kids verses talking to them. Things get misconstrued with typing vs talking I guess. lol.

So true.

Re: Heart surgery

dex — Sat, 12 May 2018 13:42:12 GMT

@Shorty2U I agree with everything you say about how it is hard typing a post to get your feelings to come out the way you intended.I am sure that you miss your mom and you wish that your ex would take better care of himself so that his children won’t feel the pain of his loss anytime soon..

Re: Heart surgery

SeaMaiden — Sat, 12 May 2018 17:10:33 GMT

He was abusive in your marriage....... he obviously does not appreciate life as he has no respect for taking care of the body he was given to live in this beautiful world.... he took time and money from others to have all those surgeries( OMG...12?????)... and still does not take care of himself.(?????)

He has no self respect for himself OR FOR OTHERS.

What a fool.

Feel sorry for his now wife to deal with him..... and be thankful you are free of him.

There, I just said it.