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'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

golding76 — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 15:41:32 GMT

[For those who admired Barbara Bush, this appreciation might be of interest.]

A lesson learned in Barbara Bush’s bathing suit

April 17. (Monica Akhtar/The Washington Post)

By Mary Kate Cary April 17 at 9:49 PM

Mary Kate Cary is a former speechwriter for President George H.W. Bush and is the executive producer of the documentary “41ON41,” which stars Barbara Bush. She is currently a senior fellow at the University of Virginia’s Miller Center.

The first time I met Barbara Bush, I was wearing her bathing suit. I was terrified. She was gracious.

It was June 1993, and George H.W. Bush had invited several speechwriters to Kennebunkport, Maine, to work on a few post-presidential addresses. As noon approached, the president announced that we’d “go for a dip” in the icy Maine surf. Next thing I knew, he was handing me a bathing suit — a skirted one-piece — that belonged to his wife and announcing I had no excuse.

As we headed to the pool — the presidential plan had us stopping there to “get used to the water” — I spied the former first lady with several of her Texas friends. “Ladies!” called out the president. “You know my speechwriters, don’t you?” Not wanting her to think I had rifled through her closet and helped myself, I said, “Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Bush. I hope you don’t mind that your husband loaned me your bathing suit.”

I gulped, waiting for a legendary Barbara Bush takedown.

There was none. She simply laughed and said, “I’m so glad we had a suit for you — have fun!” And that was one of the first of many lessons I was to learn from Mrs. Bush: If you want to enjoy life, you’ve got to be able to roll with it. She always made room for all the long-lost friends, the unexpected dinner guests, the staffers needing bathing suits.

There was one lost soul she took in years ago, a near-deaf orphaned young man named Don Rhodes who volunteered for her husband’s 1964 Senate campaign. The Bushes kept him on their personal payroll until his death in his 70s; they were as generous to Don as they were quiet about it. Not many people knew about Don, to the point that if folks told me they were “very good friends” of the Bushes, I’d reply, “Oh, then you must know Don Rhodes?” If the answer was no, that told me all I needed to know.

[Barbara Bush was as authentic as her pearls were fake]

Some funeral observers will notice that the first lady will be buried next to her daughter Robin. What many won’t know is that Don’s ashes are scattered over the family gravesite, so that he could be with them as well. The Bushes — not Don — requested that.

The way Mrs. Bush took in so many showed me two additional lessons: not only what it means to be big-hearted, but also how to be quiet about it. She was unfailingly generous, but she tolerated no horn-tooting.

A few years ago, Mrs. Bush told me she had “none of the responsibilities and all of the joys of being the wife of George Bush.” The truth is she had tremendous responsibilities. She raised six children in 29 homes in 17 different cities. Each of her surviving children was successful — but more important, she made sure they became decent, caring, gracious people. All of them have that same twinkle in their eyes that she had, the same quick wit and easy laugh. All of them have been unceasingly kind to me, as she was.

When she lost one of her children to leukemia — Robin, at age 3 — she began a lifelong commitment to raising money for cancer research, so that fewer parents would have to go through what she did. When another of her children — Neil, in early high school — was diagnosed with dyslexia, she wanted to make sure others would never struggle with literacy. Very few are aware that she and her husband have raised countless millions of dollars for both cancer research and literacy. The Bushes were quiet about that, too.

The last time I saw Mrs. Bush, it was a spectacularly beautiful day in East Texas, at the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library at Texas A&M University. Historian Jon Meacham and I were sitting with the 41s, as they are called, on their patio enjoying the afternoon.

At one point, the name of one of her high school classmates came up, and a grinning George Bush told us that the young man had once taken Barbara out for a date. “You know, he was very interested in the Silver Fox,” he teased. She smiled and declared she had never so much as kissed the guy, and then told us for the umpteenth time that she had married the first boy she ever kissed. “Believe me,” she said, eyeing her husband of 73 years, “he was no George Bush.”

She once told me that the last thing she and George did every night was to debate who loved the other more, before falling asleep holding hands. In addition to her husband, she was loved by millions of Americans who admired her quiet leadership, her unfailing grace and her everyday integrity.

What a life she led. What a family she built. What a legacy she leaves. America already misses you terribly, Mrs. Bush.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

cherry — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:38:06 GMT

My parents loved the Bushes. They were both dyed in the wool, democrats, so it speaks to how much they were universally loved, by so many of us

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

JaneMarple — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 15:52:19 GMT

@cherry wrote:
My parents loved the Bushes. They were both dyed in the wool, democrats, so it speaks to much they were universally loved, by so many of us

This Democrat adored her.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

QueenDanceALot — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:04:16 GMT

I am not a particularly religious person, nor am I a Republican, but I have been thinking that maybe God took Barbara at this time and in her way to remind us, as we look back on her life, of what decency, integrity, grace, humility and honor look like. And how we need this reminder so acutely at this point in time.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

cherry — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:07:02 GMT

From a book called

The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House

The favorite first couple, according to Brower, was the George H.W. Bushes, perhaps because they grew up in homes that had servants, and because they genuinely seemed to like talking to and getting to know the people who cooked and cleaned for them. Barbara Bush would visit and chat with the florists; the president would play horseshoes with staffers.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:07:29 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC off topic/baiting

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

QueenDanceALot — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:15:27 GMT

No one has said she was "perfect" and certainly no one has said that being "nice" to everyone is the measure of integrity and authenticity.

Edited to remove prev deleted comment.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

JaneMarple — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:13:25 GMT

Really @Tinkrbl44? No one has put her on a pedestal that I see, she was admired not only for her wisdom but her faults as well. It takes intelligence to admit one's shortcomings and Barbara Bush did just that.

Mrs. Bush made no excuses for herself or members of her own family when she felt the issue(s) deserved a response.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

Sweet_Serenity — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:20:16 GMT

@golding76

Thank you so much for sharing this message. In a time when much chaos exists. I would also like to express my appreciation for your beautiful posts last night.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

golding76 — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:22:33 GMT

Tinkrbl44,

Typically I don't step in when it comes to opinions because I believe each person is entitled to his or her own thoughts. Each of us comes from a different background, after all, and it would be impossible for all of us to think and feel the same.

I am speaking for myself here, but among the things I admired about Barbara Bush was her acknowledgement of her own flaws. Loved her directness and genuineness. I'm certain some folks found her directness and truthfulness abrasive.

My suspicion is that women who speak their mind and have a certain battery of other traits found Mrs. Bush admirable, no matter what their political stance.

Knowing that she herself understood she was no saint but was simply trying to do her best in this world, I would feel uncomfortable making this post hagiographical.

Simply put, I thought she was the real deal as a human being and I valued her humanitarian side.

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

cherry — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:28:49 GMT

I have read wonderful things, that was never revealed while Barbara was alive. They took a disadvantaged, man onto their payroll , in the 1970's ,and kept him there ,until he died

The had him cremated, and had his ashes scattered on their grave site, so he would never be alone and forgotten. His name was Don

I think its nice to have a thread that says nice things about someone, who did her best, to make the world a better place for others... perfect no, but certainly good, and liked/respected by many of us

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

Sweet_Serenity — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:27:25 GMT

@golding76

You have a such depth..

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

golding76 — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 16:30:31 GMT

Thank you so much, Sweet_Serenity, for such wonderfully generous words.

Now, can you just repeat this again for my sons and various other acquaintances? LOL

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

Sweet_Serenity — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 17:07:40 GMT

Re: 'My Lessons Learned from Barbara Bush' -- Column in 'Washington Post'

GenXmuse — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 18:08:39 GMT

@JaneMarple wrote:
@cherry wrote:
My parents loved the Bushes. They were both dyed in the wool, democrats, so it speaks to much they were universally loved, by so many of us
This Democrat adored her.

This one did too.