topic Re: Why do parents do this? in Community Chat

Why do parents do this?

Mominohio — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 04:20:56 GMT

I belong to a few local Facebook garage sale sites.

It can be pretty wild what people sell or are in search of.

But lately, mothers have posted 'in search of' requests, with pictures of their minor children in the listing.

One was showing her two babies while searching for a sitter for them while she works.

And one tonight was in search of a service dog for her son, who battles anxiety and depression, and the boy looked to be about 10 years old.

Don't these moms think before they do?

The poor kid with anxiety and depression now may have to deal with other kids at school or in the neighborhood bullying him about it, and the two little ones, plus the information the mom was giving about her work hours, location etc, now could be targets for people who might wish to do harm.

I'll never understand why people put their minor children out there on social media. Do parents ever consider the dangers this may present, or at the very least, that some day when their kids are grown, they are going to be mortified about the things that were shared and shown about them, when they had no control over it or could give no consent to having it done?

Re: Why do parents do this?

blackhole99 — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 18:05:22 GMT

I remember when my friend got her first PC and joined Facebook and plastered all her family photos and info on there. This gal was obsessed with Facebook and the internet in general. That was quite a few years ago, but I thought it was just TMI to put out there, even back then.

Re: Why do parents do this?

Kachina624 — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 04:33:54 GMT

A few years ago, my teen grandson broke up with his girlfriend. His mother posted all the gory details on Facebook. I was mortified and just hope he didn't know it was there.

Re: Why do parents do this?

Its Me LuLuBelle2 — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 04:51:04 GMT

@mominoho, my daughter is the queen of FB. I have never been a member, but there was a time I could see her page. She's now made it private (or whatever one does to block non-users). It made me livid to see some of the pictures posted of my young grandchildren on her FB page and I told her so. We had a huge blow up over it and now not only can't I see what's going on, she's barely speaking to me. I firmly believe that minor children, who have no voice, should NOT have their pictures plastered everywhere, for all of eternity, as they have zero consent and will be on the internet until the end of time. With as much as the government wants to involve themselve's in our lives, I think this is one issue they should take action on. Social media, IMHO, will be our downfall. Vanity is not a trait to be proud of.

Re: Why do parents do this?

RoughDraft — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 05:43:36 GMT

Just because people can reproduce, doesn't mean they have common sense. Sad but true.

Re: Why do parents do this?

froggy — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 05:55:29 GMT

Why? Because they are either brain dead or obsessed with getting their 15 minutes of fame.

When my niece got married she posted a picture of their new house and picures of their wedding gifts which included a gold bar. Unbelievable!

Re: Why do parents do this?

violann — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 09:23:00 GMT

Sometimes I see this jet speed rush to communicate every tiny detail of personal life as a pendulum swing from the days when there were matters that were “kept in the family”.

I also wonder if this is a correlate of the concept by some of today’s youth that “all the answers are online” (so we don’t have to read books).

I’m always hoping that at some point the pendulum of cyber communication, for any and all reasons, will swing back to a state of normalcy. Anybody see any signs of normalcy online lately.......? Still waiting........

Re: Why do parents do this?

CelticCrafter — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 11:52:06 GMT

They don't think.

I had a much younger than me cousin post a picture of her 13 year old daughter, on her first day of high school. She was standing in front of the house which had a plaque on it with the house number and the street name and she named the school her daughter would be attending.

I guess it would have been okay if she had her privacy settings set to friends only but she didn't, she had them set to public so any creeper or stalker could see what she was posting.

I said something to her and she did take it down but she never changed her settings.

Re: Why do parents do this?

SahmIam — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 12:39:52 GMT

About 15 years ago or so, my BIL in the UK posted pictures of his children and ours on FB. Romping in the sea, toddling around, just being young kids (ages 2-5) some of them were the kids naked on a private beach or on the boat as they had just bathed, were drying off, no biggie.

Due to what my DH does for a living, he was angry. Very angry. Understand that all of our children have NEVER been allowed to be photographed for a picture at school or sports that could possibly be made public. No, they are not in any year book until Senior Year (18 at that point). DH called his brother and gave him what for. Explained to him that NOTHING on the internet is ever private; even if you have setting saying it's so. If the pictures with our children were not removed within 1 hour, my DH would remove them. Photos of our children are NEVER to be placed online/in public for any reason. That rule has been in place with family members ever since.

Now, I don't know how DH would have done that; his job is one we rarely discuss because he can't. But I do know that when he says XYZ will happen, it DOES.

Those pictures were gone in 15 minutes.

Mominohio, even in this day with all the "leaks" of personal info from various online sources, people believe that they've taken all the measures, what they're doing is safe, that no one cares, etc. and so they just keep doing what they're doing.

They're SO wrong that it isn't funny. If they only knew but as they say..."Ignorance is bliss".

Re: Why do parents do this?

willdob3 — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 12:54:23 GMT

@Mominohio

Sorry, but I can’t understand why anyone bothers with Facebook. Not just moms who don’t think about what they are doing...

Re: Why do parents do this?

riley1 — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 13:09:58 GMT

@SahmIam - ITA - because of my daughter's job, she doesn't have a FB page - her husband does, however, no pictures of the kids are allowed.

Re: Why do parents do this?

chrystaltree — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 14:17:18 GMT

There have always been clueless people and their always be people like that. Their desire to live out their lives in social media out weighs their common sense.

Re: Why do parents do this?

RedTop — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 14:58:14 GMT

I’ve never had an interest in Facebook, and have always cautioned my daughters as to what they post even with private settings. My SIL has a habit of posting family photos on her private FB page, which I still don’t like.

Just this week, 3 women in my local area took letters to the Sheriffs Department that their young daughters had received in the mail. The s*e*x*u*a*l*l*y explicit letters were written to the girls by a 46 year old man from PA, who had been stalking them from pictures posted on the internet. One of the local girls was only 9; all of the pictures of the girls on the internet were innocent photos, that had been shared by their mothers. This man had been stalking them for years. The last newspaper story said he sent letters to girls in 17 states in the US, as well as the UK. After a 5 hr standoff with police, the man shot and killed himself inside his house.

I am sure the people involved in this investigation have learned an invaluable lesson, as this man isn’t the only internet creeper stalking children thru pictures shared by their family!

Re: Why do parents do this?

Venezia — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 15:06:43 GMT

I've never understood the need or desire to share every little detail of one's personal life with the world. Or even with members of the extended family.

I think some people are so busy photographing and posting about their lives, that they forget to actually live them.

Thankfully, I am not a devotee of FB (or any other social media site), so I wasn't affected by the recent debacle of stolen data. I severely limit any personal information online, whatever the site.

For parents who still don't "get it" about posting photos and info of their children? No answer to that, sadly.

Re: Why do parents do this?

happycat — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 17:19:32 GMT

I totally agree, op.

I have various family members who post on fb about every vacation, before, during and after. I feel they are just inviting someone to break in.

My dad was telling me about a relative he is friends with on fb. She posted how she fell and got hurt and went to the dr and dr had given her a bunch of pain pills. Thats not safe. My parents had multiple break ins after my mom had two surgeries several years ago. They took pain pills and money one time. The other two times, it was only the pain pills.

One of the police told my dad that the pain pills go for 30.00 a piece on the street. This was years ago. I think it was oxycontin.

Re: Why do parents do this?

tsavorite — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 17:47:43 GMT

Husband and I do not have FB accounts/page....since we aren't into that we "hear" about things that others in the family are posting on FB. We can be at a family gathering and some there are videoing something they are doing and then putting it right up on FB! Like they have a rush to get it online so "others" can give them likes or thumbs up or comments or whatever LOL! It seems to be about some competition to have the 1st of it's kind something posted and get the views. And yes we have a niece who constantly posts every detail of everything and photos of her young kids.

I think it's like your very own TV reality show....your the producer and the star....LOL

Guess I am weird but I don't want people knowing all my business....if I want you to know something about me I will tell you face to face.

I do feel sorry for the children....I know I wouldn't like anyone posting every kind of private moment photo of me all over the internet. One day these children grow up....wonder how they will feel about that.

Re: Why do parents do this?

ccassaday — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 17:59:52 GMT

I think it can be a nice way to share memories with family that maybe you don’t see much. But you do have to be careful. My settings I believe are set to friends only. I only let family in as my friends.

Re: Why do parents do this?

CelticCrafter — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 18:32:00 GMT

@happycat - you also get the jerks that will post on the page of someone that just died "RIP".

It happened to my brother, word got around the small town he lived in - the unsavories found out and broke into the house before his kids were able to get there.

Re: Why do parents do this?

happycat — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 19:41:02 GMT

@CelticCrafter wrote:
@happycat - you also get the jerks that will post on the page of someone that just died "RIP".

It happened to my brother, word got around the small town he lived in - the unsavories found out and broke into the house before his kids were able to get there.

@CelticCrafter, I'm so sorry that happened to your family. How horrible. I really don't understand how some folks must think.

Its really like fb seems to take over some folks lives or something.

Re: Why do parents do this?

ThinkOutsidetheBox — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 21:49:13 GMT

I am totally not into Facebook at all due to all of the reasons posted by the posters here before me. What I do not get though, is why not having a social media presence is seen as a strike against you by so many prospective employers these days. I am a private person, I know how much risk is involved in using social media, and I am too busy with many other things. And yet, many interviewers respond negatively if they ask about your social media activity and you state that you have none. It is just so weird. Wouldn't an employer love to have me, a non-smoker and non-social media person, who would not be wasting time at work with either one of those activities? I just don't get it.