topic Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion in Community Chat

Wedding Invitation Confusion

petepetey — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 18:47:23 GMT

Our family was just invited to a nephew's wedding later this spring.

On their web site it states that the ceremony space is too small for all the guest

so unless you have a note in the invitation you are not going to the ceremony

but go straight to a cocktail reception and then on to dinner.

Our invitation does not have a note. It does have the time engraved and the location

for the ceremony and on to all the other stuff(dinner,dance etc.)

So, the web site could be wrong? or the invitations are different to those not invited

to the ceremony?

To me it means we aren't invited to the ceremony.

Either way it doesn't matter to us but I would hate to miss the ceremony if they saved space for us to attend.

Now I guess we have to ask the family what they mean.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Laura14 — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 18:50:46 GMT

I would guess you are right. No note, no ceremony,

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

chrystaltree — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 18:54:38 GMT

It's as straight foward as it can possibly be. You didn't get the "note" so you aren't invited to the ceremony. Please do not put the family in an uncomfortable position and embarrass youself by asking.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

camelot — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 18:56:58 GMT

No harm in asking. Communicate & find out.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

beckyb1012 — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:02:06 GMT

No ceremony for sure regarding your invite. I would imagine there will be a very small amount of invites to the ceremony. Mainly siblings, grandparents, ect.....

You will have a great time seeing all of the relatives, blessings to the Bride and Groom on their speical day.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

petepetey — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:05:55 GMT

As I said in the OP, I am just fine not being invited to the ceremony---no stress

just on to the drinks and party!

However, if they saved the space for us to be there I wouldn't want to disappoint.

With today's easy to create wedding invites, why not just make a version for those

going to the ceremony and one for those not?

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Peaches McPhee — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:07:43 GMT

Agree with the others. You are not invited to the ceremony.

Darn silly way to do the invites, though. They should have printed 2 separate invites. What if you did not check the website? I am not sure I would have, so I'd have shown up to the ceremony plain as day.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

occasionalrain — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:08:54 GMT

The invitation was poorly written. Those not wanted at the ceremony should have been invited only to the cocktail party and dinner following the private ceremony. Not everyone receiving an invitation will visit their website and think they are invited to the ceremony.

The small venue excuse was unnecessary.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Kitlynn — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:14:11 GMT

I would say if you don't have a note you are not invited to the ceremony. A lot of times people pick churches or venues for their ceremony that will not accommodate the number of guest they have invited. My personal opinion is if you don't have room for your guest then you need to not send out invitations to people. This to me is just chumming for a wedding present. I know this sounds rude but I would feel like if I wasn't important enough to be at the ceremony then I wouldn't be important enough to participate in the rest of the event.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

JeanLouiseFinch — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:19:51 GMT

@petepeteyYou understood accurately. You aren't invited to the ceremony. Personally I think that's rather tacky on their part. They should have selected a venue that would accommodate the entire guest list. JMO

I agree with @chrystaltree - PLEASE do not contact anyone, asking for clarification. It does put someone on the spot and it will embarrass you in the process. When my DH and I were about to be married, our invitations went out at the appropriate time to everyone one we hoped would attend. A day or two before the wedding, someone we both knew, but was intentionally not invited, called him asking if her invitation got lost in the mail. That was both awkward and uncomfortable.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Mj12 — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:17:28 GMT

I think it's extremely tacky.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Silver Fox1 — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:18:42 GMT

I would say your not invited to the ceremony. It sounds like your not that close to your, or your husbands brother/sister. I'm presuming this because other wise I would think you would just ask. But if, as it sounds, you arn't that close it's not surprising that you haven't been invited to the ceremony were they say there is limited space. I doubt if they would have had different invitations printed. Just go to the reception and enjoy.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Suziepeach — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:20:02 GMT

@Mj12wrote:
I think it's extremely tacky.

I do too but then nothing surprises me much anymore. I consider Aunts' and Uncles' immediate family but who knows what the happy couple is thinking or their "whys"..

Enjoy when you go and have a drink for me!

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

CelticCrafter — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:23:02 GMT

Oh I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I will.

Not invited to the ceremony, just the reception, sounds like a gift grab to me.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Alison Wonderland — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:24:09 GMT

@petepeteywrote:
As I said in the OP, I am just fine not being invited to the ceremony---no stress
just on to the drinks and party!

However, if they saved the space for us to be there I wouldn't want to disappoint.

With today's easy to create wedding invites, why not just make a version for those
going to the ceremony and one for those not?

Maybe they couldn't afford it. They're easy to create, but you still have to pay for them.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

OKPrincess — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:24:15 GMT

I agree that it’s extremely tacky too.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

camelot — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:24:45 GMT

MJ12: Most invites want you at the church ceremony, it's free. But the reception is where the invitees become very limited due to cost. Who knows, old churches are small.

I suggest calling & getting more details. Communication is the best way to resolve this.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

beckyb1012 — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:29:24 GMT

I would not call if this was my invite to get clarification. I would feel like I was putting them on the spot for either an explanation or to just say come on to the ceremony. There are a lot of families out there who would talk about the call with other members later. I know I for sure have relatives like that. Just go to the party and have a great time.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

Mom2Dogs — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:30:47 GMT

DH and I own a printing business....we could have created 2 different styles of invites...the cost would not have been that high....not engraved but nicely printed on paper and matching envelopes.

@Alison Wonderlandwrote:
@petepeteywrote:
As I said in the OP, I am just fine not being invited to the ceremony---no stress
just on to the drinks and party!

However, if they saved the space for us to be there I wouldn't want to disappoint.

With today's easy to create wedding invites, why not just make a version for those
going to the ceremony and one for those not?

Maybe they couldn't afford it. They're easy to create, but you still have to pay for them.

Re: Wedding Invitation Confusion

occasionalrain — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 19:31:19 GMT

Private wedding ceremonies are not uncommon followed by larger receptions. It's neither tacky nor a gift grab since receptions/dinners are expensive. What's tacky and a gift grab is to be invited only to the ceremony.