topic Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread in Community Chat

Update on my something odd is going on thread

LilacTree — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 23:42:53 GMT

Okay . . . some of you may know that my oldest daughter and her sister (my third daughter) have been estranged for over ten years, and as the result of this my oldest daughter and I were estranged also.

I saw my oldest daughter in early January. She came in for a short visit when she was taking the daughter I live with out to dinner for her birthday, and texted me would I like her to come in to say hello. Of course I said yes. That was the first time we had seen each other in almost ten years. So, although it is very fragile, we are no longer estranged.

I discussed that with my third daughter and she was fine with it, and said I have a right to see all of my children. However, my oldest daughter and her grown children were not at the party yesterday. I asked the daughter I live with if she had been invited and she said no. I expressed that I thought that was wrong and she should have been invited.

So today, I had three surprise visitors. My oldest daughter, and her two grown children, my granddaughter whom I see several times a year and everyone knows that, and my grandson whom I have not seen since he was 15 and he is 30 now (this is mostly because he went to live with his father in Delaware). We had a long visit and I was thrilled to see my grandson. Boy can he talk!! . . . . it was not awkward at all.

My oldest daughter still seems a little distant, but we are making headway. Everything went well, we made a fire and had a long lunch here, and the talking never stopped. The situation of them not being at the party yesterday was never mentioned.

So I finally have my whole family back, except I can guarantee that it will always have to be separately. I can accept that and it seems they do also.

I will not hesitate to tell my third daughter that they visited me today. And she will be fine with it. I will wait a little while though because I don't want to spoil her glow about the party yesterday and how hard she and her two sisters worked to make it such a happy time for me. And I will bring it up casually at a time when it will make the most sense.

At least I can have a relationship with all of my children and grandchildren now. I realize I will not see my oldest daughter as often as I see my third daughter . . . but I'll take whatever I can get. It's far better than it was.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Jordan2 — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 23:55:19 GMT

@LilacTree, I'm happy for you that you will now have a relationship with all your children and grandchildren. It is sad that you lost ten years with your oldest daughter, I don't of course know the details, but a mother shouldn't have to choose between her children. Life is short, I hope your daughters will one day be able to reconcile.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

LilacTree — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 00:01:11 GMT

@Jordan2wrote:
@LilacTree, I'm happy for you that you will now have a relationship with all your children and grandchildren. It is sad that you lost ten years with your oldest daughter, I don't of course know the details, but a mother shouldn't have to choose between her children. Life is short, I hope your daughters will one day be able to reconcile.

@Jordan2

A reconciliation will never happen between these two. But I will fall back on my favorite movie quote, courtesy of Bette Davis. "Let's not ask for the moon when we already have the stars." "Now Voyager" with Paul Henreid.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Q4u — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 00:09:57 GMT

I am so very happy for you and believe that your entire family will blossom under these new dynamics. There really isn't anything more powerful than love and family...

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

dex — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 00:54:17 GMT

@LilacTree how does this stuff happen.We love our children beyond description and still something goes wrong and it seems so difficult to mend.I am so happy to hear that you are able to r3connect with those you haven’t seen in years.I love my son beyond words and it would be my saddest day if we had relationship problems.

i am really and truly happy for you.This really is your birthday gift.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Annabellethecat66 — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 00:56:36 GMT

@LilacTree I am so happy your family realizes what we here have known. That you are a lovely person and should be loved and honored as mother, grandmother and family member.

Thanks for letting us know what's going on. I am always happy to hear when families love and support each other.

I truly think GOD expects that of us. Thanks again. Annabelle/Linda

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

SXMGirl — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 01:04:14 GMT

@LilacTree, how wonderful that you were able to spend time with your oldest daughter and your grandchildren.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

cbrite — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 04:04:40 GMT

I am so thrilled for you @LilacTree !!!

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Desertdi — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 08:42:51 GMT

How wonderful for you!!!! (Usually, when somebody surprises me.....it's NOT good.)

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Nataliesgramma — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 10:35:30 GMT

So happy for you!

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

jubilant — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 11:00:15 GMT

I am so happy for you and know how much this must mean to you. I know what it is to be estranged from a child and grandchildren. So heartbreaking. This is the best news ever!

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

goldensrbest — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 11:56:24 GMT

@LilacTree That visit was the icing on the cake!!

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

meallen616 — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 12:22:40 GMT

@LilacTree,

So happy for you, you deserve it!

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

dmod nj — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 12:49:00 GMT

@LilacTree I'm so happy for you.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

YorkieonmyPillow — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 13:24:13 GMT

@LilacTree Glad to hear it, I wondered about her when you posted your other thread.

Let the 2 daughters work out their own problems - or not.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Zhills — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:33:08 GMT

So happy for you Lilac Tree.

Maybe there is hope for us yet!

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

LilacTree — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 17:56:17 GMT

Thank you all for your lovely and encouraging responses. I usually respond separately, but I am under the weather today. I just want you all to know how much I appreciate your kindness and your many "hearts!"

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

Helen852 — Tue, 13 Mar 2018 02:36:11 GMT

@LilacTree So very happy for you. As you may recall, I too was in a similar estrangement situation with my oldest son. Well, lo and behold, he made contact with us about a month and a half ago. It's unfortunate that his marriage is breaking up, however, it made him realize he has his own support network. Still have not met his 2 daughters due to timing etc., but we're working on that so that they can also meet their 2 cousins.

It's a wonderful feeling. I know my other son is happy, but is having an issue of what happened and no 'apology' has been forthcoming. I personally don't care ... what's done was done, let's move on.

Congratulations.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

LilacTree — Tue, 13 Mar 2018 14:08:34 GMT

@Helen852wrote:
@LilacTree So very happy for you. As you may recall, I too was in a similar estrangement situation with my oldest son. Well, lo and behold, he made contact with us about a month and a half ago. It's unfortunate that his marriage is breaking up, however, it made him realize he has his own support network. Still have not met his 2 daughters due to timing etc., but we're working on that so that they can also meet their 2 cousins.

It's a wonderful feeling. I know my other son is happy, but is having an issue of what happened and no 'apology' has been forthcoming. I personally don't care ... what's done was done, let's move on.

Congratulations.

@Helen852

Thank you, and same to you. You obviously know exactly how I feel because two sons are estranged. As for me, I know my two daughters will never reconcile. That is tragic, but after ten years, I am grateful that I can finally have my whole family back, even if it has to be at separate times. So, yes, we move on.

Re: Update on my something odd is going on thread

hennypenny — Tue, 13 Mar 2018 16:00:31 GMT

I am so happy that things are finally working out for you. You have been down a long hard road.