topic Re: Handling Retirement in Community Chat

Handling Retirement

srgtdj — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:01:10 GMT

I am retiring from a job that I have had for the past 20 years. The retirement is my choice and I am excited about starting a new chapter with my husband who is already retired. But my exit from the job has me feeling sad. Usually I was the one who would coordinate announcements, good luck in retirement parties or even cake in the office. But now that's I am the one retiring it feels like everyone is just moving on. I know I am the one makig the change and for them all life at the office goes on as usual. But after 20 years there and doing my best to help others...it just feels like I'm unappreciated. Has anyone else experienced this? I suspect the feeling will pass once I am actually gone from the office and fully into my retired life. I guess I am feeling dismissed. Maybe just too sensitive.

Re: Handling Retirement

maestra — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:07:01 GMT

@srgtdj I love your name! And yes, you may be feeling sensitive that more isnt being done as you retire, but it is the way of the world.

Focus instead on what you want to do for you and DH during retirement and/or volunteering in your community.

Retirement is fun; it's like being 9 years old again.

Re: Handling Retirement

Ketra — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:09:36 GMT

No, you are not being too sensitive, just human. Focus on your wonderful husband and pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do when you dreamed of having free time. 😊 Try not to give them another thought. They’re not worth it.

Re: Handling Retirement

mac116 — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:16:07 GMT

In my experience, retirement is definitely an individual thing . I made the decision to retire, and had an awesome send off.

My husband is still working full time . I HATED my first year of retirement, but tried to hide that from my family who was so happy for me. I returned to work part time, and love my time off now... almost 2 year later. It would be terrific for you if someone stepped up to give you a proper send off. But like others have said, the world is changing and so many people just aren't very thoughtful anymore .

Re: Handling Retirement

IMW — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:16:18 GMT

I think retirement brings mixed feelings in most people.

Do something nice with your dh- take a trip, have a fancy dinner, buy a piece of jewelry, go to a spa-celebrate!

The people at work are not in your life anymore. You are now free to start a new chapter.

@srgtdjwrote:
I am retiring from a job that I have had for the past 20 years. The retirement is my choice and I am excited about starting a new chapter with my husband who is already retired. But my exit from the job has me feeling sad. Usually I was the one who would coordinate announcements, good luck in retirement parties or even cake in the office. But now that's I am the one retiring it feels like everyone is just moving on. I know I am the one makig the change and for them all life at the office goes on as usual. But after 20 years there and doing my best to help others...it just feels like I'm unappreciated. Has anyone else experienced this? I suspect the feeling will pass once I am actually gone from the office and fully into my retired life. I guess I am feeling dismissed. Maybe just too sensitive.

Re: Handling Retirement

SilleeMee — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:29:36 GMT

For me retirement from my life-long career was sad. I got a good-bye party, gifts and money. But it was afterwards that I found most disheartening. Out of the dozens of people I worked with for all of my years, only a couple of them ever reached out to me to see how I was doing. That was the hardest part for me...and still is today.

eta - it was not my decision to retire. I was forced into a sudden early retirement due to disability...another reason it was sad when I left. I had no time to prepare or adjust.

Re: Handling Retirement

OKPrincess — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:23:19 GMT

It was the best decision DH and I made 02/25/16. We gave a year’s notice so everyone had time to be ready. Yes it’s absolutely a big decision but if you have your ducks in a row the best you can, you will find you made the right decision. There’s so much you can do and ease into total retirement. Retirement is the very reason we work hard all our lives, save money, investment wisely, get debt free and down size if you want. Enjoy the adventures while you can.

Re: Handling Retirement

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:26:06 GMT

What sort of activity would make you feel more "appreciated" and less "dismissed"?

Re: Handling Retirement

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:28:01 GMT

I was lucky because I eased into total retirement. I retired at 62, but after a month they wanted me back per diem. For a few years it was nice, a little socializing, a little extra money, but ultimately I quit for good, and I love it. Realistically, unless you are friends, real friends you will leave and life goes on. Enjoy your family and retirement, it's fun and you earned it.

Re: Handling Retirement

Mz iMac — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:32:02 GMT

67 yrs young....

Retired at 50, didn't look back & couldn't care less what my co-workers thought about me! I haven't thought about them or the job since the day I retired.

I am enjoying every minute of my retirement.

Me last day on da J-O-B-->

Enjoy your retirement!

Re: Handling Retirement

jeanlake — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:32:25 GMT

I did what mac116 did. Met pension goal and took early retirement incentive. Retired at 58, husband still working. Couldn't get comfy. Went back to work part time. Loving it.

I will say, when you leave employment, life will go on for your former cohorts. It's their way of adjusting and they're busy finding your replacement and moving on. The circle of life. In order to prepare myself for this, I put myself on the shelf six months before I retired. Busied myself writing a task manual for my replacement, gradually removed items from office on weekends, then drifted off of committees. I felt more in control this way. Kept telling myself, life goes on for me as well as those I leave behind. Kept a positive and brave front! We're all replaceable.

Re: Handling Retirement

srgtdj — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:34:51 GMT

Thanks to all for thoughtful replies. I do have a lot to look forward to. We moved closer to family and have a new home that we just finished remodeling so we have a new location to explore, a home to decorate, new volunteer work to do, etc. I guess I was simply expecting a thank you for the 20 years...not a big party (that's not my style anyway) --and I didn't even want a gahtering with cake ----mostly just a heartfelt thank you and a sense that i wasn't irrelevant there.

Having said that--many of you are right. What I am leaving behind are mostly folks that I won't have any contact with again especially since we are moving to a new state. The few close friends I have will be in touch I am sure. So for the ones who can't bother to acknowledge that I am leaving or even to stop by to wish me well--I guess they don't matter in the end anyway.

Thanks for helping me see things from different points of view.

Re: Handling Retirement

OKPrincess — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:35:00 GMT

@SilleeMeewrote:
For me retirement from my life-long career was sad. I got a good-bye party, gifts and money. But it was afterwards that I found most disheartening. Out of the dozens of people I worked with for all of my years, only a couple of them ever reached out to me to see how I was doing. That was the hardest part for me...and still is today.

eta - it was not my decision to retire. I was forced into a sudden early retirement due to disability...another reason it was sad when I left. I had no time to prepare or adjust.

Same here for me and DH. What you’re describing is like getting a divorce and now you’re no longer part of the “family” gatherings, news, gossip, etc., and some relatives fade into the sunset. Relationships are no longer the same. I get it.

Re: Handling Retirement

SilleeMee — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:37:06 GMT

Exactly @OKPrincess

Re: Handling Retirement

Pook — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:40:45 GMT

For me it was a great experience. I just left after nearly 40 years and didn't tell anyone because I did not want the party, etc and all the sadness that goes with retirement. It worked out great. I did and do still miss the interaction with my coworkers daily but I do get together with many often and our retirees meet several times a year. Also there is an office picnic yearly that retirees are invited to. I bake and bring treats in and everyone is always happy to see me.

Re: Handling Retirement

Nataliesgramma — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 23:42:54 GMT

I know how you feel.....I felt the same way when all I got was a "Goodbye and Good Luck!" I always got a cake for someones birthday and bought gifts for my co-workers kids when they got narried or had a baby , even if I wasn't invited.

I think what hurt th most was the 2 women who kept gushing that we must get together...Must stay in touch! and when I would call they were always too busy.

I found out almost a year later that they resented me because I was able to retire at 60 and they would be left "picking up the slack" of some ofthe work I used to do .....

Enjoy retirement and don't look back!

Re: Handling Retirement

sheilababe — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 00:04:02 GMT

After 14 years at the same company, I thought that they might do something but I reminded myself that one of the reasons I was retiring early was because I had such lousy bosses. I am in contact with a few people via FB but who knows how long that will last. We are in a new state and are making new friends. Enjoy your new life and don't worry about those you left behind. It's not unusual for work friends to be our friends as long as we work together.

Re: Handling Retirement

BirkiLady — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 02:58:38 GMT

@SilleeMeeI've had cronic health issues since an infant and have been determined to live my life as "normal" as possible. In my mid-40's seizures began to hit while at work. Of course I'd end up in the ER with my family terribly concerned. This went on for several years and I kept hiding the fact that my PCP and specialists were encouraging me to file for Disability. I loved to work and thoroughly enjoyed my ever-changing field. Went in for a regular physical (I thought) and was told that I was never returning to work. My PCP and specialists had the documents to file for Disability that day! I was 51. The Director was notified I would not be returning . . . ever. I was horrified, scared and embarrased. What would I do at home?

My Adm. Assist. and some of the employees who worked for me did throw a luncheon several weeks later, which was lovely. It was great to be out of the house, too! But like you, it wasn't the business vibe of before. I was an outsider; no longer one of them; certainly no longer their Supervisor. Afterwards, my son met me in my office. We cleaned out my personal belongings, I had an exit interview, completed the paperwork for insurance & benefits/etc. and left for the final time. I never returned. My Disability was approved within 15 months (my doctor's had completed all their paperwork and submitted it that day). A couple of the people and I meet for dinners on a regular basis and have maintained a great friendship over the past 20 years. The others? Guess there wasn't much there in the first place!

Be sure to keep friends outside of the workforce!

Edited: Cannot imagine the way some of you have been treated after spending decades working for the same company and/or with the same people. That would be a jolt to the emotions. I had only been in that particular position for eight years. Prior to that with a Fortune 500 Co. for 11 years (and in a completely different field). I left that position amid many parties and with all friendships intact. I had returned to school to pursue another degree and had landed another "dream job" at age 43 in a completely different field and a newly created position. Good thing I had invested wisely on my own since I didn't work long enough to build up a substantial retirement through either workplace.

Re: Handling Retirement

Sooner — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 00:16:55 GMT

@srgtdjwrote:
I am retiring from a job that I have had for the past 20 years. The retirement is my choice and I am excited about starting a new chapter with my husband who is already retired. But my exit from the job has me feeling sad. Usually I was the one who would coordinate announcements, good luck in retirement parties or even cake in the office. But now that's I am the one retiring it feels like everyone is just moving on. I know I am the one makig the change and for them all life at the office goes on as usual. But after 20 years there and doing my best to help others...it just feels like I'm unappreciated. Has anyone else experienced this? I suspect the feeling will pass once I am actually gone from the office and fully into my retired life. I guess I am feeling dismissed. Maybe just too sensitive.

Loved my job and the people, it was exciting, high pressure and creative environment, but never expected to be really missed. Life goes on. Someone said it's like taking your hand out of water when you leave. New people will take your place and you'll go on to other things. If you depend on other people to appreciate you, you'll often be disappointed. I was there for 37 years.

Re: Handling Retirement

Kitlynn — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 00:16:59 GMT

@QVCkitty1wrote:
I was lucky because I eased into total retirement. I retired at 62, but after a month they wanted me back per diem. For a few years it was nice, a little socializing, a little extra money, but ultimately I quit for good, and I love it. Realistically, unless you are friends, real friends you will leave and life goes on. Enjoy your family and retirement, it's fun and you earned it.

I sort of did the same thing I retired at fifty seven and I have gone back every Summer and worked for a month while my old boss goes on vacation. I really enjoyed doing for five years but now I don't want to do even that anymore. They had a really nice party for me and gave me gifts and they were sad to see me go and they are always excited when I come back. I think it is different for everyone. I was the President and owner of the companys' adminstrative assistant for over twenty years. I love being retired and doing what I want when I want!