topic Re: Big Decisions - Signs? in Community Chat

Big Decisions - Signs?

dulwich — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:07:14 GMT

Our big big move back to family in CA is now definitely upon us. Our kids want us "home" and we miss them - so March is THE date.

I have been blowing hot and cold, neighbors saying don't go, will miss you, you're silly to move back to family, you will regret it, etc etc. Family calling come on back - and I have been praying to myself the last few days for some signs we are making the right move.

Then just this weekend several things have happened one after the other - which I will not burden you Ladies with - which reaffirms our decision that family is first, "friends" after. Not mystical or anything just happenings that showed us where our priorities lie and we feel this is right.

We are now feeling totally secure with this right decision. Amy of you Ladies 'suffered' this way?

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

GCR18 — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:28:55 GMT

Follow your heart.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

RedTop — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:38:13 GMT

I always trust gut feelings, and signs.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

NicksmomESQ — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:41:34 GMT

For me & DH it’s family first hands down!! Good luck to you!!

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

puttypiesmom — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:47:48 GMT

@dulwichWhy can't your family move to your city? Earthquakes, taxes, gang violence, high apt rents, high cost to purchase a home, property taxes would be a big factor in not moving to CA. Don't let superstition make up your mind on such an important event that will affect you long term.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

Annabellethecat66 — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:51:31 GMT

@dulwich You must do what's best for you. In the end friends are wonderful, but they have their own families, you have yours.

It sounds to me like you made the right decision.

I (like many my age) will be getting my house in order (i.e. repair, etc) to sell it. I'm not quite there yet (to actually move) but I'm getting it repaired and ready.

My oldest daughter lives maybe 40 minutes from me. I live alone and have amazing friends, but they are friends. They help me all of the time but I know when it came down to it, my daughter still has my best interest. She handles all of my investments so I know she 'has my back' (so to speak).

My youngest daughter in Denver recently found a phone number of a Dr I needed to visit here where I live when I couldn't find the number. She called the Drs office and made an appointment for me that day. That's the kind of things only family can do for you.

Tell everyone you'll miss them and they can come to visit. Enjoy their kindness and love but stay on the straight and narrow to move. Good for you.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

puttypiesmom — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:56:33 GMT

@GCR18 wrote:
Follow your heart.

@dulwichYou need to follow your head in such a life changing decision. Go to an expert to help you if need be, a counselor or a financial advisor...someone who is not emotionally affected by the drama in your life.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

dulwich — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:03:40 GMT

@puttypiesmom No it was nothing to do with superstitions I am with you on that one - the occurrences - funnily enough over three days 4 happenings independent of each other - which were kind of 'signs' to me practical events, quite hurtful and surprising, with people I called friends who I was sad at leaving - made me realize and value what I have in family. Lesson learned!

Luckily we have accommodation already out there so no mortgage and we are the only ones not now in CA. We did live in CA many years ago when we first came to U.S. Thank you for your input.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

Snowpuppy — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:07:36 GMT

Been there. Altho I had moved from my hometown and back a few times, the last time I left was different. I knew none of my friends would come to visit. Ever. I was okay with that.

If you want a "sign", I struck up a conversation with a woman I didn't know. She asked "how do you feel as they're loading the truck and you're turning in your keys"?

I said : "Not a tear in my eye"

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

puttypiesmom — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:10:29 GMT

@dulwich wrote:
@puttypiesmom No it was nothing to do with superstitions I am with you on that one - the occurrences - funnily enough over three days 4 happenings independent of each other - which were kind of 'signs' to me practical events, quite hurtful and surprising, with people I called friends who I was sad at leaving - made me realize and value what I have in family. Lesson learned!

Luckily we have accommodation already out there so no mortgage and we are the only ones not now in CA. We did live in CA many years ago when we first came to U.S. Thank you for your input.

@dulwichI'm happy for you that you already have accomodations but CA would be the last place on my list of places to live. Add wildfires to the list. Good luck to you and yours.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

dulwich — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:12:29 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 Thank you so much for your input. I have been rather slow learning something you know already that friends are friends (sometimes) but family is it.

I think when you live apart from family you tend to think friends are maybe more important because they are living in your area - until you realize - as in our case - not so. We are definitely on our right path now. Again my thanks for your input.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

Annabellethecat66 — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:17:16 GMT

@dulwich I understand what you are saying. My family is now scattered a bit but we're still close.

I've had to help several of them (sisters, etc) out financially recently. My sister said, "I'm sorry I have to come to you." I said, "You are my sister (she's my 1/2 sister). I would do anything for you. It's just money".

My daughters and I argue (get very angry) and then within hours, it's over. Always been that way.

Think of it that way. I could never say some of the things to my friends that I do to my daughters. In the end they know I'd move heaven and eath for them. That's family.

You know all of that. That's why you decided to do what you are doing. You're pretty smart lady. Fondly, Annabelle/Linda

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

Moonchilde — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:24:44 GMT

@dulwich, you have always spoken of your family with great warmth and affection; it sounds to me like they miss you, and you miss them, and you enjoy hanging out with them.

I know all about the ‘people you thought were friends’ thing and you are right - go with your gut feeling as to who unconditionally has your back.

As to where you’re moving - well, at least you and I know it’s a beautiful spot, contrary to those who’ve never been there. And you already have one friend in the area, you know ;-)

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

cherry — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:28:17 GMT

It would be wonderful to have @Moonchilde as a real life friend. She loves all things British, you would be tailor made for each other

Now that's a lucky sign, if ever there was one

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

Moonchilde — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:33:09 GMT

@cherry wrote:
It would be wonderful to have @Moonchilde as a real life friend. She loves all things British, you would be tailor made for each other

Now that's a lucky sign, if ever there was one

@cherry, we “know” each other from the forums, and have discussedin the past getting together if/when she moves. It would be delightful :-)

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

dulwich — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:48:10 GMT

@Moonchilde Get ready for that cream tea dear friend!

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

dulwich — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:55:54 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 My daughters and I argue too - full on - but then it is all over and I love you's said and we are soon laughing again - never lasts.

What we have is the same sense of humor (we are all Brits) and just a look or shrug and we all 'get it' and the laughter starts we just get each other which after all is family. Thank you for your kind words much appreciated.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

mac116 — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 01:56:46 GMT

When my MIL was getting older, she made the choice to stay in Ohio with her friends over moving back to where her whole family lived. Fast forward...friends died, developed their own health issues, or moved to be with family. She ended up very sad and lonely, and not well enough anymore to move back. Oh how she regretted her choice! For most of us, family is more important.

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

Noel7 — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 02:01:39 GMT

@dulwich wrote:
@Annabellethecat66 My daughters and I argue too - full on - but then it is all over and I love you's said and we are soon laughing again - never lasts.

What we have is the same sense of humor (we are all Brits) and just a look or shrug and we all 'get it' and the laughter starts we just get each other which after all is family. Thank you for your kind words much appreciated.

@dulwich

I recently had my ancestry done. 100% European, 73% British.

I have no male relative so they could not be specific that 50% was Welsh

Re: Big Decisions - Signs?

tansy — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 02:03:14 GMT

@mac116 wrote:
When my MIL was getting older, she made the choice to stay in Ohio with her friends over moving back to where her whole family lived. Fast forward...friends died, developed their own health issues, or moved to be with family. She ended up very sad and lonely, and not well enough anymore to move back. Oh how she regretted her choice! For most of us, family is more important.

It’s a gamble either way. I know couples who moved to be back with family, only to be disappointed that the grandchildren were more interested in their friends than in them once the kids reached the pre-teen years or the adult child moved away for a job promotion:/