topic Re: Relationships And Compromising in Community Chat

Relationships And Compromising

Jordan2 — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:12:40 GMT

Do you think compromising should be 50/50 in a relationship? I feel one person should not have to always be the one who gives in, so to speak. I feel after a while the one who gives in and doesn't get their way can start to harbor ill feelings towards their partner. Which brings me to the subject of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I have no doubt they are very much in love, but it seems to me (only my opinion) she is the one doing most of the compromising. She will live in England, become a citizen, left her elderly dog (I'm sure with someone loving), ending her career, spent Christmas with the Royal Family, etc. It's a lot of change to take in.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

cherry — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:14:38 GMT

No one forced her to. I think you are reading a lot into a little

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Love my grandkids — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:16:02 GMT

I don't make sweeping generalizations, no offense, truly.

To me, each relationship is on a case by case basis.

I doubt anyone is holding a gun to Miss Markle's head to do all these things!

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Goldengate8361 — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:16:04 GMT

She may not feel like it’s a compromise. It may just be exactly what she wants. That said, I tend to agree with your overall statement for most cases—most of the time.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

chiclets — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:29:30 GMT

I doubt if most relationships are 50/50.

There will be compromising, flexibilities, sacrificing and always changes. This is the nature of any relationship and the individuals involved.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

suzyQ3 — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:33:41 GMT

I've witnessed relationships where it seems to be that one is always giving in to the other. The one that I'm thinking about in particular did not end well. That kind of heavy lifting can become overwhelming along with the pent-up bitterness.

I have no clue whatsoever as to the couple that is up for discussion here, and neither does anyone else.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

drizzellla — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:37:13 GMT

It's not like Harry has many choices in his life. He is told what to say and do everday. And if he goes "off script" the press has a field day. His picture and every word out of his mouth is all over the papers.

So whoever marries him has to follow the same rules he does.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

YorkieonmyPillow — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:38:40 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
Do you think compromising should be 50/50 in a relationship? I feel one person should not have to always be the one who gives in, so to speak. I feel after a while the one who gives in and doesn't get their way can start to harbor ill feelings towards their partner. Which brings me to the subject of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I have no doubt they are very much in love, but it seems to me (only my opinion) she is the one doing most of the compromising. She will live in England, become a citizen, left her elderly dog (I'm sure with someone loving), ending her career, spent Christmas with the Royal Family, etc. It's a lot of change to take in.

Prince Harry didn't partake in the family hunting event they do every Christmas because MM is an "animal rights activist."

So he has compromised, as well....

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Moonchilde — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:40:08 GMT

Whatever I think about relationships and compromising, I think it has nothing to do with Harry and Meghan’s engagement and hopefully subsequent marriage.

Because she was acting when Harry met her, there are all these gloriously a**inine suppositions about Meghan, what kind of a background she has, what total strangers “know” about her personality and her lack of taste, her greed, tacky behavior, etc when in fact they’re making it all up in order to feed their own POV about the “appropriateness” of her marriage (read anything you like into that).

She grew up in a financially quite comfortable household. Her mother has a Masters Degree in Social Work. Meghan went to private schools, not public city schools. Her father has won an Emmy for his technical behind-the-scenes work. She has been raised to be interested in the welfare of others and has been interested in charitable causes since childhood.

Her humanitarian work began before she ever met Harry:

[Wiki]
“Markle was a counsellor for international charity One Young World, speaking at the 2014 annual summit in Dublin on the topics of gender equality and modern day slavery. Also in 2014, she traveled to Afghanistan and Spain as part of the USO Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Holiday Tour.

“In 2016, Markle became a global ambassador for World Vision Canada, traveling to Rwanda for the Clean Water Campaign, the agency's campaign to provide safe, clean drinking water, and she traveled to India to raise awareness of issues concerning women.

She has also worked with the United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women as an Advocate. Markle again attended the One Young World summit in 2016.”

Since she’s become engaged, her upper middle class life, upbringing and values have been “disappeared” and instead now anything and everything is claimed about her in order to “prove” how “unworthy” she is.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Goldengate8361 — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:49:15 GMT

@Moonchilde Thanks for your post - and providing the fuller story about Meghan Markle. I’m a big fan of hers because of her outstanding values and character...and commitment to humanitarian causes. The fact that she’s beautiful, an actress, and marrying a royal is not the point. She’s a great role model because of the kind of person she has chosen to become. We need more great role models...particularly for young girls.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

missy1 — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:51:37 GMT

It won't always be exactly 50/50 (should be somewhat close) IMO, but a relationship has to give/take (compromise) to survive. I no longer have my bf because they would not compromise, and took most, of the time.

As for a MM is concerned she knows what she is getting herself into. She would not be marrying Harry if she didn't sign on the dotted line. She not only marries Harry, but the matriarch. I will pass on that proposal of it ever comes up.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

puttypiesmom — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:49:43 GMT

Since there is very little chance of Harry becoming king it is odd that he didn't just relocate to the U.S. I'm sure at some point one of the more uncouth members of the royal family (such as Princess Michael) will ask Markle point blank in front of many other people, so are you excited and thrilled over becoming a British citizen while denouncing your American citizenship? I can't imagine she would answer with her pretty smile.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Big Joanie — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:54:38 GMT

I think you will see a lot of changes in the Royal way of life

when the Queen passes ....just my opinion ...I think the

Royal way of life is a little watered down with each new

Monarch ....

Re: Relationships And Compromising

qvcfreak — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:58:15 GMT

I think she is told before hand what is expected and makes her decision.

I was reading today on MSN a lot of the rules Royals follow. A few I remember, when the queen finishes her dinner, everyone else has to stop eating too. When Prince George turns 12, he can no longer travel with Harry, 2 heirs can’t travel together. When women have to wear hats to all formals and if the event is indoors at 6p they change to Tiaras. Only married women wear them, shows them who’s available. Also, when talking to the Queen and she transfers her purse to her right arm, conversation is over. There was a lot more very interesting.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Moonchilde — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:04:17 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
She may not feel like it’s a compromise. It may just be exactly what she wants. That said, I tend to agree with your overall statement for most cases—most of the time.

This ^^^

Meghan and Harry seem to have much in common when it comes to their life passions of humanitarianism, aide work and charity. Harry has passed on by several wealthy, attractive, aristocratic British women that had “more suitable pedigrees” according to some. Meghan shares his broader, larger life interests outside of just Being Royal. They each are marrying the whole package.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Tinkrbl44 — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:05:38 GMT

It's HIGHLY unlikely (if not impossible) Harry will ever wear the crown, so his relationship and life with Meghan will be more of a partnership, and they will have a bit more freedom (and choices) than William and Kate will ever have.

I don't think most relationships are ever 50/50 ... sometimes they are 80/20 ... sometimes something else.

The real questiion is ... are both people getting their needs met in the relationship?

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Sooner — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:05:39 GMT

A relationship is not about "fair" or who makes what percentage of the compromises. It is about what two people are willing to put into making it work. It can be fine for one person to make all the compromises, or half of them or none.

It is critical that both people understand what the situation is going in, and are willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work.

I believe firmly in equality in status in a relationship, but that doesn't mean who gives up what. It means that both are equally respected and part of the decision making process.

I had to make most of the compromises in my marriage, but never felt slighted. It's just the demands of his job and mine were different, so I had to give up some of the things I wanted to do, take up more of the slack at home sometimes, and go to a lot of events that weren't my cup of tea. But that is what it took to get us where we wanted to be in life, so I was happy to do it and don't regret a moment of it. I never felt used, abused or neglected, because I was always consulted and a player in the decision.

Megan should understand what it takes to be part of the royal family, and be ready to do those things or not marry him. It wouldn't be for everyone.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

puttypiesmom — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:19:32 GMT

Who knows maybe after MM becomes a British citizen her dear mom will join her through chain immigration. That would be wonderful for MM to have her beloved mom there with her.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:21:54 GMT

There is always compromise, and of course it's never always 50/50, but I want to know why Meghan had to give up her elderly dog.

That bothers me.

Re: Relationships And Compromising

Wheatchick1 — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:22:28 GMT

She is hardly a naive innocent being led to slaughter. She is an intelligent woman who has certainly had enough experience in the world to be capable of making an informed judgment on what she wants for her future.

Marriage is all about compromise. It’s never 50/50 - someone always ends up bending a little more. So she had made some compromises, so what? So has Harry. And they will both continue to do so. It’s called life.