topic Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex in Community Chat

Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Jordan2 — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 20:27:58 GMT

I think it depends if you are the dumper of the dumpee. Also I think if you have moved on and are happy, it's easier to see your ex with someone else. I feel I wouldn't want to be friends with an ex, if I didn't want to possibly spend the rest of my life with them (for whatever reason) why would I want them in my life as a friend? I would hope to be cordial and civil with them if we were to meet again. Sort of off topic, I caught the tail end of Access Hollywood Thursday night. Jerry O'Connell was on. He was talking about his twin girls love for Uncle Jesse from Full House, he thought they were kidding with him, he realized they weren't. He then told them he would blow their minds and told them their mother (Rebecca Romijn) was once married to him. They didn't know and he showed them wedding pictures online! They wanted to know if they were going to get back together again!

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 20:40:52 GMT

I am, but we were friends before we were exes.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

RedTop — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 20:42:07 GMT

I’m not sure I could. However, when my uncle died in 1973, his wife of 5 months, as well as his 2 ex-wives were seated with the family in our country church. The 2 exes still loved him, but just couldn’t live with him and his ways. Am sure #3 would’ve learned that too if she’d had more time with him. Uncle suffered a massive stroke in his mid 40’s.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

ROMARY — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 20:50:25 GMT

I don't think it's a good idea. Especially if he has a wife or girlfriend. And I'm only guessing that the ex-wife's new husband/boyfriend wouldn't be too thrilled with the situation.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

DiAnne — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 20:58:41 GMT

If you had children together I would think it would be crucial to try.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

CAcableGirl2 — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:07:54 GMT

As long as both people are happy with the relationship ending, I think you can be friends. Not call every day friends, or share your secrets friends, but more of cordial and "I wish them the best" kind of friends.

Even if one gets another girlfriend or boyfriend, if the other party is happy with their life, then I think it's possible.

At least for me, I am very happy that it's over, and he has a girlfriend, and I hope they are both happy. I for one, couldn't make him happy, and he couldn't make me happy either. We have children and although we don't gather for family gatherings, or speak often with each other, if he calls, I answer and vice versa.

I think its possible, as long as neither one in the ending relationship wanted to stay together.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

ROMARY — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:11:37 GMT

Oh, yes! If there are children involved, it's necessary to be 'friends'. No room for grudges and rudeness. Just be civil, be friendly.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Scooby Doo — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:15:53 GMT

I couldn't simply because I don't like him. He's not someone I would choose to be around in my current life. But it's a moot point because he died many years ago.

I have a couple of friends who are still friends with their ex's. One friend had 4 kids with him and he basically abandoned them. She struggled with keeping a roof over their heads and raising them. He married someone else and raised the stepkids. But they all buried the hatchet and became a big family. The live in 3 different states, and once a year they all travel and spend several days together. Her and 4 kids, him and new wife and 3 stepkids. Works for them.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Love4cats — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:17:36 GMT

I have sister that married, divorced, married again and divorced the same man twice. They get along better as friend's than husband and wife. Our family still consider's her ex as a family member. They are both good people, but they are very different personality's. I think whether you can be friend's with your ex depend's on the circumstance's that lead to the divorce.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Irshgrl31201 — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:44:35 GMT

Of course you can be. I am still friends with all of my exes except for one and they are still in my life. My husband knows and has no problem because he is a mature adult and knows there is nothing there but friendship. It astounds me when people think there is no way one can be friends with an ex ever. I do understand there are times when it isn't possible but to say or think that it can never happen is just bizarre.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

fortune — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 22:11:09 GMT

@ROMARY wrote:
Oh, yes! If there are children involved, it's necessary to be 'friends'. No room for grudges and rudeness. Just be civil, be friendly.

@ROMARY

I think it is absolutely crucial that spouses don't bad mouth each other to the children!!!!!!!

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 22:21:23 GMT

I don't think there's a yes or no answer. There are many things that would have happened in the marriage to determine how two people would feel AFTER the divorce.

So, I don't know if any of you have ever read about my crazy family (crazy but I adore them).

My Mother was married 6 times. Once first to my Dad at 18, then 2 times to my 1/2 sister's Dad and 3 times to my Dad's best friend.

They were very, very difficult divorces each time but they did remarry (except to my Dad).

All three of my sisters were married and divorced 2 times. All three sisters became good friends with their ex-husbands. In fact, they all three became good friends with the ex's girlfriends and 2nd wives. They've stayed for a few days at the ex's houses!

It's really not that unusual because most people are attracted to people with the same personalities (as a rule). So it would make sense that they'd like the second wife.

Honey! You have no idea what goes on in my family (mostly USED to go on).

We've had family get togethers and everyone is happy, no problems. The women in my family are extremely strong characters, they just aren't threatened by other women.

My brother and I were the only one's who never divorced. My brother was married 50 years when his wife died and it was a wonderful marriage, but 2 months after she died he called and said, "I'm so lonely". He's had several girlfriends (he's 77 years old).

Most of the people in my family are quite outgoing. You can imagine the get-togethers. Ha!

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

phoenixbrd — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 22:50:17 GMT

My SO is not appreciative of me having a "friendship" with an Ex. I think it best to consider several feelings regarding this issue if you are currently in a long term committed relationship. Of course, if children are involved this bridge must be crossed.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

OfCourse — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 22:58:58 GMT

If people have children together or live/work in proximity to one another, they might make an effort to be friendly and that over time could become a friendship. Otherwise, people go their separate ways and don't see each other after they split.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

FrostyBabe1 — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 23:09:41 GMT

I think you CAN be, but I've never WANTED to be. There's never been children involved and I didn't marry, so the end of the relationship was the end. You wish each other the best and move on.

The last guy I dated turned out to be a hot mess. I've heard from several mutual acquaintances that's he told people that we're still good friends and see each other all the time. Neither is true. I've thought about sending him a text message telling him that I don't appreciate it and insist that he stop, but I don't even want to have that much contact with him.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

Kitlynn — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 23:16:41 GMT

Absolutely! My Ex and I get along fine and we have a daughter who is grown now. She says she has always appreciated that we get along and she has never been in the middle of any problems or made to choose. Both of us have remarried and now our daughter is one of six for him and still an only child for me. So she has the best of both worlds. LOL

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

jaxs mom — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 23:38:33 GMT

yes

Can You Be Friends With An Ex

missy1 — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 00:10:12 GMT

yes

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

jannabelle1 — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 00:24:58 GMT

Absolutely not! There would be absolutely no reason for me since there were no kids involved. Aside from that, after what he and his much younger girlfriend (who quickly became his next wife) did, I wouldn't waste my energy! I think in some situations when small children are involved, it's best to maintain friendly relations, but that doesn't necessarily mean being friends with each other. It can be a slippery slope, especially is there is a new spouse.

Re: Can You Be Friends With An Ex

chrystaltree — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 00:25:02 GMT

I suppose you could be and if you have children together, you should try to have a "friendly" and comfortable relationship since you are forever bound to each other through your kids and grandkids. Other than that, it smacks of not being able to move on.