topic Re: Your history in Community Chat

Your history

qualitygal — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 12:02:10 GMT

Just wanted to share these thoughts...at the age I am at now, I'm getting a magazine about the history of my state. It's wonderful.

But my main reason for this, is the treasure you have in your own family, to learn about how your family came to be where you grew up. Now some don't care, and this is just for those who do.

I have regrets in some areas where I didn't ask more questions of my own grandparents and learn about that. We just take for granted, where we grew up and lived is our whole world. Don't let the precious moments and stories of your past slip by and you miss them.

Some will want to do family trees, or learn about their families past and before it's too late, act now. Just an FYI I felt that I wanted to pass along. The other thought is that, I did get some really good stories about the history from my grandmother, many years ago. Still, there's things I wonder about that only family can answer and now I can't ask. So while you can, and if your family is getting together this year, learn and listen. It's golden.

Re: Your history

Teddie — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 12:26:51 GMT

So true.

Many years ago my sister and I interviewed and videotaped our dad. We asked many questions about his life. It became very emotional for him at one point when he began talking about our mother, who we lost when she was just 28–and he needed to step outside for a bit. Now that I’m older, I understand more fully his grief that he had never gotten over. I’m thankful to have that recording but it’s too painful for me to watch. We have lost him, too.

I wish I had my grandparents to talk to and get acquainted with. I was not mature enough to know to ask them questions. Now, I can think of so very many things I’d like to visit with them about.

Very good and thought-provoking topic, @qualitygal

Re: Your history

OKPrincess — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 12:41:12 GMT

@Teddie I hear you. My mom put together a "history" book for us 4 kids along with pictures and I treasure it so much. My mom has been gone eight years and to date I haven't watched the funeral video. Bless you!!

Re: Your history

Teddie — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 12:50:40 GMT

I very much know what you mean, @OKPrincess. Nine years for me this month on losing my dad. It’s still so painful.

What a gift your mom gave you. That is very special. Blessings to you, too!

Re: Your history

Quse — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 13:44:06 GMT

I am blessed to have my 97 year old father. I love visiting with him and hearing him talk about his life. He tells me the same stories over again sometimes, and feels like he's wasting my time talking about the past. He doesn't realize how fascinating his life was to me, even though I tell him, he doesn't believe me. I can't imagine living through periods of time when the television was 1st invented and seeing one for the very first time, to now, where "that's one of those computer things in your pocket (iPhone)"

Someone told me I should videotape an interview with him..I don't know what to ask.

Re: Your history

Another new name Sue — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 13:47:13 GMT

When the old timers are talking, listen. When they are gone, there is no retrieving those stories. I found a big surprise doing family tree research. I sure would like to know more about that, but there’s no one to ask.

Re: Your history

Eileen in Virginia — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 14:08:09 GMT

I agree with all of the above recommendations. In addition, if you know they’ve got pictures or photo albums, ask them to go through them with you to identify the people in the pictures. When my MIL died, we found a crate of photo albums and many envelopes of pictures, some dating from the early 1900’s. Some show a man on a camel in front of the Sphinx and the pyramids. Others show a family in front of an old automobile (maybe a Model T). Many were not labeled and we had no idea who these people/relatives were. Now there’s no one left who can tell us who they were. Take advantage of your your family’s memories while you can. They’d probably enjoy reminiscing about old times and you might be surprised at what you can learn.

Re: Your history

Lovs2shop — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 14:09:11 GMT

I can relate to what you all have been saying. Me and my siblings have questions we never thought to ask years ago and now is too late. Kids today are far too busy to have a conversation about their past.

Re: Your history

qualitygal — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 14:49:31 GMT

@Quse wrote:
I am blessed to have my 97 year old father. I love visiting with him and hearing him talk about his life. He tells me the same stories over again sometimes, and feels like he's wasting my time talking about the past. He doesn't realize how fascinating his life was to me, even though I tell him, he doesn't believe me. I can't imagine living through periods of time when the television was 1st invented and seeing one for the very first time, to now, where "that's one of those computer things in your pocket (iPhone)"
Someone told me I should videotape an interview with him..I don't know what to ask.

Ask him to remember as far back as he can to begin with. Ask about relatives, jobs, their military times, jobs they held, the cost of things they grew up with. Ask about their hobbies, places they visited and if they sled in the winter or ice skated, or ?? depending on where they lived. Ask how many houses they lived in. Ask about their brothers and sisters and moms and dads and cousins and aunts and uncles. ETC. and ask about chores and what they did for entertainment, and how much gas was, and what grade they completed in school? Childhood jobs?

Re: Your history

Drythe — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 16:06:59 GMT

My 91 year old Dad remembers the first person to receive a SS check in his tiny mountain town; it was $1.00. Betting he didn’t complain either.

Re: Your history

Tinkrbl44 — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 18:38:52 GMT

@qualitygal

Great idea .... but years ago my sister and I did a MEDICAL FAMILY TREE as far back as we could go, and it was a real eye opener. Back in the day, lung cancer was the norm for heavy smokers, and a few things had odd names that required some research. (Some people called diabetes "sugar", as in "he had sugar".)

Specific cause of death was frequently unknown. If a doctor came to the home and someone died or was dying, the decision was simply "they died of natural causes". Period.

The most difficult part was a couple people who didn't want to talk about health issues, so their (now adult) children didn't have a lot of information which could have come in handy. Nevertheless, it was a very worthwhile project.

Re: Your history

Sooner — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 16:31:53 GMT

I just can't get into all that. I have a family tree that goes back to England in the 1500s and know my family came to this country as some of the very first settlers--before 1650 BUT I can't relate to those people because I really don't know who they were, what they thought about, etc.

To me, it is a little interesting but I don't see it as defining who I am. They could have been kings for criminals, but that was a long long time ago and folks I never met. I guess I am too American maybe. I am responsible for who I am. It's all on me.

Re: Your history

BirkiLady — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 03:42:52 GMT

Using family history was a huge help in caring for my mom, a dementia patient for 14 years. As her mind lapsed, I used our family photos, scrap books and memory albums kept by former generations to help mom. She was living in her childhood and adored seeing her grandparents home in Maine (where they spent a month each summer for over 20 years), the trips her family took across the country, her years away at William Woods College (now a University) in Fulton, MO, letters from dad to her throughout WWII, pictures of them during their engagement, their wedding pictures and news articles, their first apartment and first home. So many pictures of both sets of grandparents, which made her so happy. Pictures of my little sister. Pictures of their acreage and the plans for the home they were building. The big move into the completed home and my first day into another school. (Think it must have been more difficult for mom than for me!) An article in the paper of people following the fire trucks, but the fire trucks led all the cars to the lake and proceeded to give out tickets! Yes, mom was one in line and received a ticket. Mom's car was clearly pictured in the newspaper! Dad was horrified. Even as a little girl, it was funny and we never let her live that one down. Receipes from both grandmothers, mom and her friends that I've been using for years and years, also. Many pictures of flower beds in various homes! Mom and I both modeled for local department stores; of course, some of those ads were included. We were both so tall and slender! We also volunteered and were active in many community plays, events, our Church and Choir, etc. Pictures of mom with her knitting seemed to be everywhere! All overseas travels were detailed in journals with dated photos. So many memories helped keep mom's mind sharper than so many of the dementia patients. And it was fun for both of us. I also was able to ask additional questions, which always led to other childhood stories about her life. I would return home and email her stories to my sister. Stuff we had never heard before. Things we never thought to ask as young people. In some respects, mom's illness brought us so much closer than ever anticipated. My mom loved horses, rollerskates, baseball and sleding on a steep hill in Omaha as a kid. We already knew that. It's the funny things she told me within the last few years that I'm so grateful to have learned via the old photos and journals from mom and other deceased family members. Sadly, mom didn't remember either my marriage or my sister's marriage 10 years later, both were large events. Mine in Lincoln, my sisters in Philadelphia. She did remember wintering in Tampa for many years, but had to be reminded of things in the pictures. I encourage everyone to delve into your past. Ours goes back to England, Ireland, Scotland and Germany. I'm having so much fun with our ancestors and their strength of character, great standing in their communities, ambition and drive to succeed in spite of adversity, and willingness to give back to their community by dedicated volunteering. Rather proud of my heritage.

Re: Your history

Mominohio — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 03:44:32 GMT

I think one of the best things people can do is write.

IT doesn't have to be fancy or well written, but write. Write about what history you have been told, what you have lived. Write about your family, your town, your traditions, what school was like, what vacations, were like, who your childhood friends were, what your jobs were like, what the world, politics, were like.

It can be a journal, it can be random thoughts and memories. Let people know before you pass that it exists so it isn't overlooked when your possessions are gone through.

And talk to the oldest people in your family now. Write down what they tell you. I've done some of this, but not nearly enough so thanks @qualitygal for a great reminder that the past dies a little more every day, when we don't document it.

Re: Your history

Shorty2U — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 05:45:39 GMT

DH and I do ancestry for years and years now and we traced our whole history (except my one side stops in Italy with my great grandparents) So yes I regret not having asked more questions back when everyone in the family was still alive. My moms side I had no trouble finding out info (and I knew a lot of it) Plus a distant relative wrote a book tracing my moms one side and we finished her other side. I'm just at a stand still with my dads Italian side. DH said if I want to research my Italian side "in Italy" I have to join Italy ancestry? And both my parents are deceased, and so are all my aunts and uncles and of course my grandparents, so I have no one to ask.

Re: Your history

blackhole99 — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 18:07:16 GMT

I grew up in the 50's and 60's, my grandparents were not forthcoming when it came to answering questions about their personal history. No.1 because you were a kid and No.2 they were immigrants and didn't want people knowing too much about their past lives. I do know where my grandparents came from in Europe though. I think my maternal grandfather was Jewish, because of the things my mother would say she remembered about him and she thought he was a Jew. My mother was raised catholic, but it wouldn't be the first time someone hid their Jewishness. I remember my mom saying, Daddy never went to church. I guess I should have my DNA tested, then I would know for sure.

Re: Your history

Mz iMac — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 19:05:44 GMT

On my fathers side....

I am from a family that has held yearly family reunions since the 19th century. We even have our own private website. Website contains photos as well as recordings.

Around 800+ paternal members left at last count.

My mother is the only member of her family still living. However, when alive they all attended my paternal "family reunions" because their family was small.

My father passed 12 yrs ago.

My 93 yr old mother is still living, healthy & on her own.

Re: Your history

Marienkaefer2 — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 23:54:54 GMT

I grew up with my maternal family, who were immigrants from Italy.

Fortunately, my grandparents were very good about telling us the history of the family, going back a few generations.

Still, there are questions now that I have, that I never thought of when they were alive. I wish I had thought to ask them then.

Also, I know next to nothing about my paternal family, who were Irish immigrants. I wish I knew more about them, where they came from, etc. Those grandparents died when I was very young, and we had moved across the country. Also, the family wasn't close.

I think it's important to know about your family, what your parents and grandparents did and how they lived. It gives you a foundation.

I also love to hear the stories of other people's families.

Re: Your history

hckynut — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 20:17:27 GMT

Never cared much about my family's history. My dad(?) disappeared when I was to young to remember him, leaving my mother alone to raise my 3 older sister and myself. Paternal side, from what I was/am told by my older sisters, were a family of alcoholics that cared only for themselves.

My maternal family were "very well off" financially, but disowned my mother when she married my sperm donor. Grew up poor in Public Housing Projects (born there) until age 14. Saw my maternal grandmother on rare occasions, but never in our Projects apartment(below her social dignity).

I could not care less about who they were or anything to do with either side of my(so-called)family history. What little I do know is already too much. Felt so sorry for my mother having to live her life with not even her own family caring about her one iota. SAD!

hckynut