topic Re: I am dreading tomorrow in Community Chat

I am dreading tomorrow

Andrewsgrandma — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 01:57:07 GMT

I am just going to vent here to you . I don't want to vent on Facebook. Maybe here I can get some annonomous support, love, lol!

My goodness, my family has crumbled in the last few years. My dad died 4 yrs ago. He really was the rock that held us together. My adult daughter died almost 2 years ago.

I am not looking forward to the holidays starting tomorrow. I'm actually dreading the day. Half of our family is going to be away and the rest of us are going to have a store purchased meal. I get and love family tradition but to me our family traditions have died. Truthfully, I just want to skip it all. Tomorrow will just be a day where we all just go through the motions. Sad but true. I used to love the holidays. I am feeling pretty low as the holidays used to be such a special time for me. Now, I just want to hibernate in my home. Not looking for responses, just want a safe place to express my feelings.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

ms traditional — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:02:53 GMT

@Andrewsgrandma with your having such low expectations, i hope that something surprises and delights you tomorrow.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

Andrewsgrandma — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:04:00 GMT

I hope so too. Thanks.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

on the bay — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:07:03 GMT

I'm so sorry @Andrewsgrandma!

You've been through some heartbreaking losses no mother ever wants to imagine or have happen. And losing your dad-the rock of your family.

I think when traditions don't fit anymore and make us sad or no longer bring joy, its time to make new ones that can bring us some comfort and happiness, whatever that may be-sitting home and watching a lovely movie or book or whatever everyone wants to do. Or all going out to a movie and Chinese-something different.

And to honor those who are not with you physically but will always be in your heart and that you will never forget until you meet again.

I hope this Thanksgiving might become a turning point of all deciding not to just go through the motions, but do something that means something to each of you even if its skipping the whole day of

any tradition at all

here's a cyber hug (((()))

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

Lapdog — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:09:10 GMT

I am so sorry for your loss @Andrewsgrandma. Blessings to you for a brighter tomorrow.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

ScarletDove — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 18:26:26 GMT

@Andrewsgrandma

God bless you, just hang in there. Please try to go into the holidays with some positive thoughts of the memories you have....perhaps that can help sustain you as you go through the holidays.

My cousin just lost her husband a month ago and they had no children, so she is struggling also because she loved the holidays. I will talk with her and will speak of my love for her; and as I speak to you here in this note, I pass my love to you.

Please try to do your best at the positive parts and perhaps create some new traditions...and come back to us and we will stand by you as you walk through these holidays.

Sending my love to you .......Scarlet

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

SahmIam — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:09:26 GMT

Hugs to you.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

alicedee — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:10:19 GMT

You are still grieving big losses in your life ...it’s understandable you aren’t feeling “festive”. There’s no right/wrong way to celebrate.....so be gentle with yourself and others.

I hope it it turns out much better than you expect.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

nana59 — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 03:47:12 GMT

I know exactly how you feel....things change....sometimes not for the best....I lost 2 very dear friends- in their sixties- this year....one who was my BFF for over 30 years--and most recently a dear young family friend who was only 16 years-old....wish I was a bear--I'd be hibernating now.....you will be in my thoughts tomorrow....

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

Noel7 — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:17:10 GMT

I’m so sorry. The depth of your pain is understandable. Maybe going through the motions will help, if not, do whatever you need to do to take of yourself.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

lucymo — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:18:27 GMT

May God take away the sadness and give you a new outlook on life. I wish you a Thanksgiving that will be a turning point for the better in your life. Hugs.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

seaBreeze — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:20:35 GMT

I know the pain you are feeling .... taking it "one day at a time" is how I get through. Nothing stays the same, sadly .... sending you a hug from someone who shares your feelings about the holidays. @Andrewsgrandma

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

Irshgrl31201 — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:21:01 GMT

I am so sorry @Andrewsgrandma, I hate to hear this and about the lose of those close to you. I know that has to make it so difficult. I do hope another poster is correct that having such low expectations surprises you and that you have a much better holiday than expected. Hugs to you!

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

libbyannE — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:23:11 GMT

I hope you relax and enjoy the day without pressuring yourself to feel as you used to. I imagine that many on the boards have been there, but every loss and every response to that loss is unique. My heart goes out to you, truly. My father died in late August.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

BalletBabe — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:27:53 GMT

@Andrewsgrandma Life is not easy! Last year was the first year I was without my husband. My son was stationed in Texas (In Navy) and could not get off. He has been transferred to Tampa, so this year he and my Grandbaby will be here. I know there isn't much I can say to make you feel better, but I have to say being on these boards helped me a lot. There are some funny people on here! Sometimes, I mope around, but life is passing by while we do nothing to try to improve it. Buy yourself something, and you can vent to us anytime.

We all need love and support at certain times in our life! Don't be afraid to talk to anyone here. Mostly good people here!

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

I am still oxox — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:35:02 GMT

I dreaded the first Thanksgiving after my Mom passed away, she died in mid October so Thanksgiving was 6 weeks after, it was sad and she was missed but it ended up as a good time

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

Daysdee — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:44:34 GMT

I totally understand. I suffered a great loss a few years ago just before Christmas. Will never be the same, but we must go on. I try to keep busy and keep up holiday tradition for my children. Pray that I can remain independent. I guess prayers and keeping busy even if it does involve holiday decorating, cleaning, etc. is the best we can do. I hope your holiday turns out better than you expect it to be. Good thoughts for you.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

Mominohio — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:47:44 GMT

@Andrewsgrandma

I am so very sorry for all the loss in your life, and want you to know that what you feel is normal, not that it makes it any easier for you, but just know you are not alone in your feelings and reactions.

Given enough time, I hope that your pain will ease and you will find joy in some things again.

I find that often, not looking for joy in the same places (or events) as you found with those now gone, might be a start. Rather, look for joy or comfort or interest in areas or during times that don't connect you to those times gone by. Different days, different places, different (new) traditions might make new joys over time, when they don't have to compete with the old and lost ones.

I too, hope that at least you are able to work through the day tomorrow, even if you find no joy or peace, at least you can know you are strong enough to get through it, a very good first step.

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

mzlg — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 02:50:14 GMT

@Andrewsgrandma

Re: I am dreading tomorrow

GCR18 — Thu, 23 Nov 2017 03:06:31 GMT

I don't want to minimize your feelings. They are what they are. I was thinking about the other family joining you tomorrow. Maybe they feel similar. Is there anything from past holiday traditions that you can incorporate into new holiday traditions?

My family is in discord with my sister being admitted to a nursing home earlier this year. My mother and I will go to the home for lunch. Her teenagers want no part of it and said they are staying home with their dad. So I'm still working through what our traditions will look like.

Hope your day turns out pleasant.