topic Re: Thanksgiving Rant in Community Chat

Thanksgiving Rant

TenderMercies — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:35:18 GMT

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

pommom — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:40:30 GMT

I would simply let them know that the board member has not made any special concessions. Period. Take it or leave it.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

AngusandBuddhasMom — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:46:21 GMT

@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?

Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

CelticCrafter — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:47:47 GMT

I think I would have told them there will be lots of veggies and usually they are gluten free.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

LoveMyBaby — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:49:14 GMT

@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?

👍🏼Total agreement.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

Nightowlz — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:50:13 GMT

ITA. DH always goes thru the same thing with the guys at work every time they plan a dinner.

The boss just paid for dinner for Veteran's Day. Word got out & they all starting complaining about what & where DH was going to pick up food. DH told them that's why I was not going to say anything because I'm tired of all the arguing about what & where to get what when we try to plan a dinner. They all liked what he bought except the guy that does not eat meat.

You can't please everyone & you can't be expected to make different meals for the those that don't eat a Traditional Thanksgiving dinner.

I would never reply back to an invitation like that. I would say something like I would like to come but I'm vegan or vegetarian is it ok if I bring my meal to eat.

I would reply back to those that have already replied plus those that have not to let them know it's a traditional dinner if that's how the board member wants you to handle it. That's a lot of work on it's own much less trying to cater to others.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

summerwind — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:50:28 GMT

Agreed. My son is vegan, and never expects anyone to make concessions for him. We love him, and I have made adjustments where possible, but we still have meat etc. at family meals, and he brings something for himself, also.

Last year, I made a vegan pumpkin pie, and probably will again this year. It was actually pretty good. Looking for a vegan corn pudding/casserole recipe this year, might be a bit of a challenge.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

SahmIam — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:53:05 GMT

"No good deed goes unpunished".

Truer words have never been spoken. One, be thankful that people are even sending an RSVP; most don't. They just show up and there ya go. *side eye*

In this situation, here is what I would do; in fact, I HAVE and DO do this:

"So glad you are going to be able to attend! SInce you have specific dietary needs, I would like you to bring a dish that you can enjoy and also share with everyone else, that way, I KNOW you'll enjoy the meal along with everyone else. " : )

Two things happen: 1) They don't show up or 2) They show up with a dish or two and it's a great success.

IMHO, if they don't show up, it's no great loss because, well, you can figure it out. I think those that pull this stunt (informing their hosts of what they will and will not eat without offering to bring something) is rude. Yep, I do. I would NEVER expect someone to cater to MY dietary needs.

Please.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

TenderMercies — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:51:40 GMT

@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?
Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are.

@AngusandBuddhasMom If you are a pescatarian or vegetarian, then you can eat stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc. If you are gluten free, you can eat turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc. I am not asking a board member to make special meals for these people when there will already be plenty of options.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

Moonchilde — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:55:02 GMT

@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?
Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are.

I think the point is, on Turkey Day it’s turkey on the menu, and come or don’t come, no catering to every diet/lifestyle choice when you’re being invited to someone’s home you don’t even/barely know, as an unnecessary courtesy the host is extending.

There are allergies that have become trendy to have, and vegan or whatever is a choice. Everyone doesn’t need to honor every choice every individual thinks they need to make. Throw out ultimatums and sit in a hotel bar on Thursday.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

mousiegirl — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:58:36 GMT

@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?

@TenderMercies You are right I would tell them something to this effect, "this is Thanksgiving dinner at a private home, not a restaurant where there is a varied menu, should I mark you as not attending?"

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

Sweetbay magnolia — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:57:12 GMT

Seems rather impolite.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:57:14 GMT

@summerwind wrote:
Agreed. My son is vegan, and never expects anyone to make concessions for him. We love him, and I have made adjustments where possible, but we still have meat etc. at family meals, and he brings something for himself, also.

Last year, I made a vegan pumpkin pie, and probably will again this year. It was actually pretty good. Looking for a vegan corn pudding/casserole recipe this year, might be a bit of a challenge.

If you google "vegan corn pudding casserole" you will see many offerings that qualify. As a non-vegan, I have to say that some of them look rather tasty.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

Kitlynn — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:57:23 GMT

I would send a follow up email and let people know this is not a corporate hosted meal. It is an invitation for Thanksgiving dinner by a person who is opening up her home to offer them a holiday meal. If they want something special then they need to not come. When you are invited to dinner somewhere the host decides what they are cooking and you should just be grateful that you got invited. I think people can find something that works for them at a dinner and I also think for one meal you can eat what is offered unless you are highly allergic to some kind of food and if it is served just don't take any.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:00:59 GMT

My vegan niece always packs her own meal in case what is offered does not fit her diet. She says that it is more important to enjoy the fellowship of the dinner companions than to worry about the food.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

AngusandBuddhasMom — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:01:15 GMT

@TenderMercies wrote:
@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?
Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are.
@AngusandBuddhasMom If you are a pescatarian or vegetarian, then you can eat stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc. If you are gluten free, you can eat turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc. I am not asking a board member to make special meals for these people when there will already be plenty of options.

If people have certain dietary restrictions then maybe they were asking because they don't want to accept and then find out they can't eat certain things.

My DD has celiac I know she is used to doing with out and not asking. People seem confused as to what is and isn't allowed. Some people are more bold then others I see no reason to take offense.

For religious reasons we don't eat pork or any meat on Fridays. I never say anything if out or at a company function. I just look to see what I can have and make do. No big deal. That said when people notice they make a big deal about it and seem to take a personal offense to it. I don't know how my abstaining from certain foods reflects on them but apparently it does.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

DREAMON — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:01:58 GMT

I have a family member who has food allergies and she never turns down invitations....she responds saying that she would love to come but will provide her own food due to her allergies. It has never been a problem and the hosts appreciate her honesty and her company.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

AngusandBuddhasMom — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:02:57 GMT

@Moonchilde wrote:
@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@TenderMercies wrote:
I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home. I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December. A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count. At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal." Is it wrong that I'm angry about this? I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving? I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins. Accept it as it is, or make other plans." Can you believe the nerve of some people?
Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are.

I think the point is, on Turkey Day it’s turkey on the menu, and come or don’t come, no catering to every diet/lifestyle choice when you’re being invited to someone’s home you don’t even/barely know, as an unnecessary courtesy the host is extending.

There are allergies that have become trendy to have, and vegan or whatever is a choice. Everyone doesn’t need to honor every choice every individual thinks they need to make. Throw out ultimatums and sit in a hotel bar on Thursday.

Celiac is not a trendy thing.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

Imaoldhippie — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:08:53 GMT

I think it is the heighth of rudeness. It is a free dinner after all. I would email the folks back and state that it is a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. No special provisions provided.

Re: Thanksgiving Rant

nana59 — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:08:31 GMT

Just one more reason I'd like to fast forward to January......