topic Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is? in Community Chat

Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Isobel Archer — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:46:39 GMT

Read a heartbreaking article in this morning's Washington Post written by a woman with a severe stutter (she has tried everything and it is no better).

She describes an incident where she needed to withdraw money from the bank and the ATM was down and she went through the drive through and because she was unable to say her name after many attempts, they asked her to come inside. Instead, she drove off, stopped and cried.

Now I totally get that all of us need to be more understanding - and patient. And I hate that this happened to her.

However, why not just go through the drive through - or inside - and hand them a note saying you have laryingitis and cannot speak and - this is who I am (ID) and this is what I want to do? I know that's "letting them off the hook" in the compassion department, but it's also getting you what you need with a minimum of heartache.

Sometimes it just seems to me that we can be so intent on insisting other people change, that we fail to see what can sometimes be simple work arounds.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Laura14 — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:51:19 GMT

Poor girl. She probably didn't think of it. Sometimes you are so frustrated and anxious, the best part of your brain goes.

Having said that, it astounds me the lack of common sense some people have with just normal activities. I know we all have our moments but keep it simple stupid needs to make a roaring comeback.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

SilleeMee — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 19:23:29 GMT

~~She wants to be a victim~~. Seems to be the thing to do these days.

Edited - How would I know this? I don't know this person from Eve. My apologies.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

bonnielu — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:53:55 GMT

I feel for her mainly because I did stutter badly ( I just posted about it). I do feel she was unfairly treated and my heart goes out to her. I also see the bank as protecting her assets and keeping her safe. They wanted to be sure. In this day and age we seem to be victims of others peoples greed and schemes.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

SahmIam — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:54:29 GMT

1) She had a bad day/was in pain, etc and this was simply the final straw.

2) She needs to grow a pair and deal with Life. It ain't fair and owes you nothing so acting like a 5 year old shows her maturity level isn't where it needs to be.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Ruby Laine — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:58:36 GMT

She wants to be a victim? We don’t know her. I have only compassion. We all know someone with a handicap or issue, and we know people handle their issues differently.

I know a stutterer and you can’t imagine what he goes through, even though he can laugh at himself and doesn’t feel sorry for himself. I have a young family member with a sight issue. No self-pity there, but there are moments.

We all need to have more compassion and empathy, and never take for granted what we have. Or don’t have.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Yardlie — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 13:59:27 GMT

Until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, don't judge them.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Isobel Archer — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:00:06 GMT

I really do feel for her and again, I am very sorry she feels she was put in a humiliating situation (due to the downed ATM) and then treated badly.

And I'm sure there are many situations where a note would not work well.

I just think that as many times as she must have experienced situations like this, she could make it so much easier for herself.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

software — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:04:28 GMT

How is asking her to come inside treating her badly?

I rarely go to the drive in myself but sitting at the ATM I've heard people ask complicated questions at the drive through and they've been asked to come inside.

I feel so sorry for her, she needs better coping skills.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Carmie — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:11:44 GMT

Many of us have some form of handicaps that force us to do things differently than most other people.

if a person stutters so badly, why would they go to a drive up window of any kind? Common sense should have told her that she must go inside. Sometimes it’s impossible to understand each other when there are no speech problems present at the drive through.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

dex — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:13:15 GMT

She has most likely experienced a lifetime of struggles due to her speech difficulties.She might have been crying out of frustration.her handicap is not visible so she won't get the immediate understanding or compassion that others could receive.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Yardlie — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:21:29 GMT

@Carmie wrote:
Many of us have some form of handicaps that force us to do things differently than most other people.

if a person stutters so badly, why would they go to a drive up window of any kind? Common sense should have told her that she must go inside. Sometimes it’s impossible to understand each other when there are no speech problems present at the drive through.

Sometimes stutterers can communicate fairly clearly, but things can set them off so that they cannot speak clearly. I had a childhood friend who was a stutterer. She spoke quite well when we played together, but if the teacher called on her in school or if kids bullied her, she would stutter very severely.

Obviously, this lady has gone through the drive-thru previously without problems. We don't know what this poor lady might have faced that upset her and caused her to stutter so badly.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

violann — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 19:04:50 GMT

Live for one day with stuttering, or hearing impairments, or cerebral palsy, or a crossed eye or ACTUALLY ANY CONDITION THAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT/LESS ADVANTAGED than anyone in the mainstream and THEN tell me how much you seek/enjoy being a victim.

Or perhaps MORE painful, AND EVEN LESS ATTENTION SEEKING, IS- be the loved one of someone with a situation that has to be dealt with every waking hour! See how much fun it is to watch you beautiful, dearly loved whatever live with the consequences of their less than perfect lives.

No, no, NO! Unless there is a concommitent situation in the affective domain of an individual, people with challenges do NOT seek attention, and DO NOT seek to capitalize on personal circumstances.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

violann — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:37:33 GMT

@Isobel Archer- is “laryngitis” less embarrassing than stuttering? Do you suppose that the stutterer wasn’t aware every time she was obliged to speak that she was a stutterer?

Please google “Annie Glenn” wife of the astronaut. In my opinion, a hero, not someone with laryngitis.

I truly dislike being so “in-your-face” about this, and I don’t want to seem as though I’ve targeted you or other posters, but this is a red flag to my personal bull.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

BirdieGal — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:33:59 GMT

@violann

My son is disabled. I deal with this everyday. He knows he is different and has never ever felt the victim.

People shy away from or shun what they do not personally understand or can relate with.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

qualitygal — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:34:41 GMT

I have a dear relative who stutters. He's a dear person and he knows us all and we just wait until he gets it out. Not being self-conscious about having to hurry, he does really well, almost don't know. (It's terribly painful for people who stutter, to not do this.) Maybe she thought that day she could do that and tried. It must be horribly frustrating. There's reasons behind why people do this.

Have you ever seen The King's Speech?

I hope more people can be more patient with others who have this problem. Maybe some day, you'll need other people to be patient with you.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Isobel Archer — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:37:29 GMT

@software wrote:
How is asking her to come inside treating her badly?

I rarely go to the drive in myself but sitting at the ATM I've heard people ask complicated questions at the drive through and they've been asked to come inside.

I feel so sorry for her, she needs better coping skills.

It was the whole sense of humiliation - she didn't think she could do any better saying what she needed inside as she was already so upset.

Another simple fix to this particular situation would have been to simply hand them a check for them to cash along with her ID. Then she probably wouldn't have had to say anything in the first place - and if she did - again she could write a note.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

ValuSkr — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:37:47 GMT

@Isobel Archer wrote:

I just think that as many times as she must have experienced situations like this, she could make it so much easier for herself.

How can she make it easier? The hardest thing for many stutterers is to say their own name. It leads to embarrassment after embarrassment - for their whole life. It leaves a wound that doesn't heal. Please try to be more sympathetic.

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Isobel Archer — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:38:17 GMT

Re: Why do people make life harder than it already is?

Trinity11 — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 14:39:18 GMT

I have tremendous empathy for anyone having issues with their speech. I recently had a mild stroke after 2 heart attacks within 11 months. I notice a change in my speech..something I always prided myself on. Now I have a hesitancy on getting out words. It, literally, makes me sick.

As as far as the drive-in. Just try for one day living a life with disabilities. I, seriously doubt anyone would be giving advice on alternatives for this woman. Live it before giving alternative scenarios.