topic Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE! in Community Chat

HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Tinkrbl44 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 21:58:01 GMT

The other day I was in line, and couldn't help but hear the two women in front of me discussing the sexual harassment stories that have been in the news lately. One woman was saying how young women who want fame and fortune will sell their souls "in Hollywood" ..... as if this doesn't happen to anyone but actresses, and doesn't happen anywhere but in the entertainment industry!

Honestly, I was pretty shocked that other women could be so blase about what other women are subjected to ...

This doesn't just happen "in Hollywood" .... it happens EVERYWHERE. It happens to 1 in 4 women and it happens to our mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, co-workers ..... in every industry ..... factories, fast food restaurants, in real estate companies, in the every day workplace. Just to be clear, I'm talking about non-consensual situations here.

It's bad enough to be subjected to that type of harassment, but even worse when a woman's livelihood is threatened if she doesn't "play along".

Going back several decades, I'm thinking about how many rape victims are accused of "asking for it" .... or "she had it coming" ..... or some other idiotic justification. Frankly, I'm disgusted by it.

MY QUESTION ............ Why do some women seem to refuse to believe this situation exists? Because if they don't actually witness it, then it can't be true? When the Cosby accusers started having the strength to finally tell what happened, even posters on here were pretty unsympathetic. Some even went so far as to say some version of "they should have expected it". (???)

Why do women refuse to believe other women .... or adamantly blame the victim?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this ...

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

pommom — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:11:12 GMT

Me, too.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

GSPgirl — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:16:50 GMT

Because it hasn’t happened to them or they don’t know the signs. I was harassed by a male employee, who was training me. He always wanted to close the door and I told him not to. I spoke to my boss about the inappropriate touches and he said Paul will be Paul. Now this was in 1987. I think women were afraid to report it. I wasn’t. I then found out that there were other women who were being harassed in the office and they were keeping logs. I left the company to reenter college and about 2 months later Paul was fired and so was my boss. Why? Because he ignored us and didn’t take the situation seriously. All the women kept their jobs.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

kaydee50 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:22:13 GMT

I have a problem with the current situation and with Cosby. I'm sure that harassment was involved but why wait so long to speak up??? Cosby was decades ago. Isn't there a statute of limitations to these accusations? Obviously to me, these women were willing to sell themselves for a job and now they are complaining about it. Sorry I'm not too sympathetic.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Laura14 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:22:16 GMT

Because a whole fraternity of young men were just villified for months by a Rolling Stone story for a sexual attack that never happened at a party that never happened all because a woman journalist didn't bother to check out a supposed victim's story with her basic journalism 101 skills.

The entire media and social media devotees ran with it until someone bothered to believe the men and look at their proof and interview this woman's friends.

When your son or nephew or husband or other young man gets caught up in a girl's lies for attention, drama, career advancement, etc, you'll have your answer.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

GSPgirl — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:28:08 GMT

@Laura14 wrote:
Because a whole fraternity of young men were just villified for months by a Rolling Stone story for a sexual attack that never happened at a party that never happened all because a woman journalist didn't bother to check out a supposed victim's story with her basic journalism 101 skills.

The entire media and social media devotees ran with it until someone bothered to believe the men and look at their proof and interview this woman's friends.

When your son or nephew or husband or other young man gets caught up in a girl's lies for attention, drama, career advancement, etc, you'll have your answer.

Same with what happened at Duke with the Lacrosse team. One woman can completely ruin your life with the media always taking the side of the supposed victim.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Pook — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:31:07 GMT

While I am well aware that it happens, I don't understand the ones that want stardom so bad that they just sell their souls and do what they are told for it!! To me that is agreeing to it. I wasn't raised that way. Even if I needed the job, I could not accept that is what I needed to to do! I am more sympathetic to say a single mom needing the income for her family. And yes I was the victim of many incidents of sexual harassment (groping to the extreme) on the job in the '70's and was told by my superiors to just ignore it and stay out of their way. I did not and announced to the whole floor what these men had done and were doing and once called out publicly they stopped. I would have left that job if it had continued but was not going to just remain silent!

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Puppy Lips — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:30:42 GMT

I was sexually harassed by two different men in two different companies. My job security was not in question and I never felt physically threatened. One of the men I considered a friend. He was really crossing the line at work, but I shunned his advances and laughed it off to difuse the situation. I found out later that another women in the company was suing him, although I have no idea how that turned out.

We do need to take these allegations seriously. But on the other hand I would hate for men to be fasely accused. If I were a man, I would make sure any interactions at work with a woman were never behind closed doors and maybe with another person present.

And yes, it does happen everywhere. But you know Hollywood -- they think they are the only people that can change society.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Ms tyrion2 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:29:18 GMT

Blame the victim mentality (especially if the victim is a woman) just never goes away.

Look at some of the responses here.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

goldensrbest — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:31:33 GMT

I think it always was that way, men do it because they get away with it.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

PhilaLady1 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:35:06 GMT

I knew of several women that did things with men for the purpose of getting ahead in their career. They intentionally permitted stuff to happen and allowed it to continue. This was in the 1980's.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

alicedee — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:35:10 GMT

As I said on another thread, it happened to me over 40 year ago...and the harasser was a woman boss. I was only 19 at the time, and had no clue how to deal with it....I ignored her, and after a few months I quit the job...it was just too stressful for me.

I think this garbage has been going on forever....people are just realizing now it's safer to talk about it.

And I can't think of a more heinous thing to do to another person than to lie about such a thing...any person who falsely accuses someone is evil.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

kaydee50 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:37:47 GMT

@Ms tyrion2 wrote:
Blame the victim mentality (especially if the victim is a woman) just never goes away.

Look at some of the responses here.

I'm not blaming the victim but I am questioning their motives for revealing events that happened years if not decades ago. I guess any publicity is better than none for some of these women.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

millieshops — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:38:51 GMT

@Puppy LipsWomen should not have to laugh off unwelcome advances which ARE harrassment, and we should not have to leave our jobs and start over while the abuser stays where he is and advances.

As for Hollywood thinking they have to be the ones to change society - I sort of believe they are the ones who can. We as a culture give them so much access to the media that no one else has - and many of the women earn more than enough money so thar they have access to good lawyers. Together they know better how to use the media than most other abusers.

I don't want any womsan falsely charging abuse, but the number who do that is tiny compared to the abused who never say anything and allow generation after generation to continue to suffer damaging, demeaning behavior on the part of many abusers.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

QVCkitty1 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:40:06 GMT

I think that women who don't support other women are just as bad as the men who do the harassing. Would you come forward if you felt you wouldn't be believed. ??

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

dex — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:41:34 GMT

@alicedee wrote:
As I said on another thread, it happened to me over 40 year ago...and the harasser was a woman boss. I was only 19 at the time, and had no clue how to deal with it....I ignored her, and after a few months I quit the job...it was just too stressful for me.

I think this garbage has been going on forever....people are just realizing now it's safer to talk about it.

And I can't think of a more heinous thing to do to another person than to lie about such a thing...any person who falsely accuses someone is evil.

I agree but evil never takes a holiday...more words to live by from my mom.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Sweet_Serenity — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:41:45 GMT

@Ms tyrion2 wrote:
Blame the victim mentality (especially if the victim is a woman) just never goes away.

Look at some of the responses here.

Donna K's comment when scandal came out.
Enjoyed Cashmere perfume never feel the same.

Thank you for your post.🙋

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

CelticCrafter — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:44:39 GMT

@castlenv wrote:
I have a problem with the current situation and with Cosby. I'm sure that harassment was involved but why wait so long to speak up??? Cosby was decades ago. Isn't there a statute of limitations to these accusations? Obviously to me, these women were willing to sell themselves for a job and now they are complaining about it. Sorry I'm not too sympathetic.

And by not speaking out they allowed it to continue to happen.

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Susan-QVC — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:45:14 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC political

Re: HARASSMENT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

Ms tyrion2 — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:47:19 GMT

@castlenv wrote:
@Ms tyrion2 wrote:
Blame the victim mentality (especially if the victim is a woman) just never goes away.

Look at some of the responses here.

I'm not blaming the victim but I am questioning their motives for revealing events that happened years if not decades ago. I guess any publicity is better than none for some of these women.

There is such a simple answer for your question.

Years ago, it was dangerous and demeaning for a woman to report sexual harassment. HER private life was put on trial. HER motives were questioned. SHE often was the one to lose her job.

With numbers and age sometimes comes strength. When abused women see others reporting the crime, they feel safer coming forward themselves.