topic Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters in Community Chat

Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:07:36 GMT

Is there still a division of labor on Thanksgiving where women do the cooking and clean up and men watch football?

How do you and your friends handle it?

When I was a kid, my mother and aunts did all the cooking, set the table and did clean up. The uncles and my father watched football. After dinner, my aunts would call me in to the kitchen and show me how to clear plates. I remember thinking it was unfair because all my cousins were boys with the freedom of playing outside.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

makena — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:13:23 GMT

@Noel7 no different than any other day expect more food and plates. I've never, ever seen a man help with cleanup. No, it's not fair.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:19:43 GMT

@makena wrote:
@Noel7 no different than any other day expect more food and plates. I've never, ever seen a man help with cleanup. No, it's not fair.

@makena

I was looking at the title of a post here asking if things had changed. I'd been thinking about Thanksgiving and wondered.

I've mentioned before that DH and I split cooking and cleaning since we got married, still do. My daughter's Italian Godfather used to do all the cooking in his house.

Since we are older now, we've gotten together with my childhood friend for years. She tells everyone to get up and clear, men also bring food.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

kcladyz — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:19:53 GMT

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Snowpuppy — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:20:12 GMT

Not so in our family.

Come to my house, men will greet you, take your coats and offer you a drink. Yes, women in the kitchen....where we klatch. Happily.

After dinner the guys proudly help clear the table and stack the dishwasher.

In my BIL & SIL's home, much the same. Men still pitch in.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:24:12 GMT

@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

Whoa, @kcladyz That stepmother was a wicked one. I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:27:12 GMT

@Snowpuppy wrote:
Not so in our family.

Come to my house, men will greet you, take your coats and offer you a drink. Yes, women in the kitchen....where we klatch. Happily.

After dinner the guys proudly help clear the table and stack the dishwasher.

In my BIL & SIL's home, much the same. Men still pitch in.

@Snowpuppy Do the men do any of the cooking? I don't know if that's common nowadays. It's nice they clear and clean

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Annabellethecat66 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:28:37 GMT

I'm answering for my daughter (she's 44, does that count)?

My son-in-law (and his Dad) clean up and they also assist my daughter in whatever preparation she asks them to do. My son-in-law irons his own clothes, loves to grocery shop and on and on. He's amazing!

My daughter is a stay-at-home mom. They have 4 children in 4 different schools. He owns his own computer company and she manages the entire thing. It works perfectly for them.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

BirdieGal — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:32:20 GMT

My husband is 63 years old. I am 50.

He has always helped with prep if I need it. Kids help too.

When Dinner is over, I am ushered into the living room, glass of wine ( or whatever I want) to relax while the family clears and does the dishes and packs away all the food.

After tummies settle they all have dessert. Not me. I just make them. Then we watch CHRISTMAS VACATION!

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Kitlynn — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:33:04 GMT

I am not the younger generation but our daughter is. When we have a holiday meal it is myself, my husband and our grown daughter doing the fixing of everything and the cleaning up. We have a great system and it doesn't take us anytime to get it done. We do it as a family. For normal meals it is my husband and I. We share the work and when our daughter comes she pitches in and we do when we go to her house. Works for us as we always think of it as family time.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Pook — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:34:43 GMT

Not so in the older generation in our family. The women have all been lucky (including me) to have men who cook and do a lot of the cleanup!!

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:36:13 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
I'm answering for my daughter (she's 44, does that count)?

My son-in-law (and his Dad) clean up and they also assist my daughter in whatever preparation she asks them to do. My son-in-law irons his own clothes, loves to grocery shop and on and on. He's amazing!

My daughter is a stay-at-home mom. They have 4 children in 4 different schools. He owns his own computer company and she manages the entire thing. It works perfectly for them.

Oh yea, @Annabellethecat66 IMO 44 counts, it's not my generation, for sure, lol.

Your SIL is wonderful My husband had been in the military and routinely ironed and mad the bed with tight corners, happy me. He likes to grocery shop too. We go together, he also goes with our daughter.

Nice to hear about your daughter's arrangement

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

kcladyz — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:36:51 GMT

@Noel7 wrote:
@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it
@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

Whoa, @kcladyz That stepmother was a wicked one. I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.

Ya she was. She turned my father and my siblings against me. When I was in college she had my father cancel my tuition and my dorm room and board as soon as they got married and I did not even know her. I like maybe met her twice at that point. I have no idea why she hated me. So the past 25 years he only talks to me via email for thats the only way he can talk to me without her finding out, I am 48 and have not been invited home for the holidays since 1991

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

kcladyz — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:39:12 GMT

@Noel7 wrote:
@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it
@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

Whoa, @kcladyz That stepmother was a wicked one. I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:37:51 GMT

@BirdieGal wrote:
My husband is 63 years old. I am 50.

He has always helped with prep if I need it. Kids help too.

When Dinner is over, I am ushered into the living room, glass of wine ( or whatever I want) to relax while the family clears and does the dishes and packs away all the food.

After tummies settle they all have dessert. Not me. I just make them. Then we watch CHRISTMAS VACATION!

That's a nice tradition @BirdieGal

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:39:32 GMT

@Kitlynn wrote:
I am not the younger generation but our daughter is. When we have a holiday meal it is myself, my husband and our grown daughter doing the fixing of everything and the cleaning up. We have a great system and it doesn't take us anytime to get it done. We do it as a family. For normal meals it is my husband and I. We share the work and when our daughter comes she pitches in and we do when we go to her house. Works for us as we always think of it as family time.

That's how we do it, too @Kitlynn

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:44:53 GMT

@Pook wrote:
Not so in the older generation in our family. The women have all been lucky (including me) to have men who cook and do a lot of the cleanup!!

@Pook

I confused you with someone else at first, I apologize.

You all have been lucky! My father's generation, at least those I knew, never did much of anything.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Noel7 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:47:55 GMT

@kcladyz wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it
@kcladyz wrote:
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

Whoa, @kcladyz That stepmother was a wicked one. I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.
Ya she was. She turned my father and my siblings against me. When I was in college she had my father cancel my tuition and my dorm room and board as soon as they got married and I did not even know her. I like maybe met her twice at that point. I have no idea why she hated me. So the past 25 years he only talks to me via email for thats the only way he can talk to me without her finding out, I am 48 and have not been invited home for the holidays since 1991

I am so sorry @kcladyz She must be very insecure and jealous, not to mention a real nasty person.

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Annabellethecat66 — Mon, 23 Oct 2017 23:48:20 GMT

My daughter still grocery shops some but he REALLY likes to go.

They have very active children in a lot of things and they split up who's going where.

It's amazing the things they have to do that my late husband and I didn't. We were very hands on too, but it was a different time.

It helps that my son-in-law knows everything about computers, etc and they have rules about movies, etc.

We did that too. We started out from the beginning and if you make sure the rules are understood.....no trouble.

I was a stay-at-home mom and so is my other married daughter. My daughters are like me. I loved to mow the lawn, work outside, paint, you name it, I did it.

That said, I used to host these enormous Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas (July, Father's Day) because my late husband loved doing it. We'd have as many as 55-60 people at our house for Thanksgiving. I did all of it. I did not clean it up. My sister-in-law and a few other's cleaned it up.

I didn't mind it because my husband loved doing it so much. He did zip preparing for it. Ha! Funny story real quick....so once to get him out of my hair I said, "Honey! Please go outside and clean off the lawn chairs for the 4th of July party". So he was so proud of himself...comes in, so happy.

Everyone comes, friends, neighbors, everyone. Suddenly someone says to a neighbor (a good friend of mine), "Joy! What's that on your shorts? You have big white stripes across the butt".

It seems like my husband used bleach to clean the lawn hairs (which were white bands across the seats). She probably sweat or could have gotten the seat wet with the water balloons.....the bleach turned her green shorts white stripes. We still joke about those shorts. She always said, "Tell your husband he owes me a pair of shorts".

From then on he was only allowed to clean with a little soap and water!

Re: Thanksgiving Question For Our Younger Generation Posters

Nancy Drew — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 02:27:07 GMT