topic Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training in Community Chat

Professional Development: Empathy Training

lolakimono — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 14:48:48 GMT

Just curious-

The topic of our latest PD was empathy training. Several people among the group rotations were getting confused RE the difference between the terms sympathy and empathy.

We have seen various definitions in the literature, but I'm curious to know how YOU define, in your own words, the difference between the two concepts.

Or, if you think they are the same, please share why.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

lolakimono — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 14:50:18 GMT

This is one of the videos we watched to spark discussion:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

blackhole99 — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 14:53:20 GMT

To me,empathy is when you can put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to understand where they are coming from even if you have not experienced the same thing.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 14:59:05 GMT

Sympathy = Sorrow

Empathy = Understanding

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

dex — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 15:01:39 GMT

Sympathy is what we give when we don't know how to help.Empathy is trying to understand the feelings and or pain and allow it to be valid.thThis is only MY opinion for anyone who reads this and doesn't agree with me.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

Isobel Archer — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 15:05:04 GMT

I think it's complicated

I agree with the video presenter than empathy is the way to make a connection and to do that, you need to suspend judgment and just listen and offer whatever support you can.

However, it depends on your role in that person's life. Clearly, if you are a parent, teacher, counselor, etc., you may, at some point need to interject judgment - and direction because otherwise you are enabling.

It's fine to "understand" why someone is a bully or is taking drugs, but intervention is not only appropriate, but necessary in that young person's life.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

blackhole99 — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 15:25:24 GMT

I'll never forget, I shared something very personal with my son and he said, " I'm so sorry you had to go through that Mother"." I can't imagine what it would be like to have to live like that, evidently you were able to get past that experience, because you were such a good Mum and always put me first". To me that's empathy. I think my son should be working in mental health or human resources, but he's a Techy type.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

house_cat — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 15:48:39 GMT

Sympathy involves a degree of judgment. If you sympathize with someone, you pity their situation, but don't necessarily believe it can happen to you. Empathy is the understanding that their suffering could easily be yours, as well.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

Vivian — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 18:57:14 GMT

I think someone can be taught to express sympathy but empathy is another matter. If, for whatever reason, a person cannot put him/herself in another’s place, I don’t know how you can elicit genuine empathy. In fact, several personality disorders have lack of empathy as one of the most significant characteristics of these conditions. I don’t know how one could fake empathy.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

sidsmom — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:05:13 GMT

How can you “train” for this?

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

ROMARY — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:08:42 GMT

It would be nice if everyone would have both. Deep, heartfelt sorrow and understanding and also placing ourselves in other folks' shoes (and vice-versa). Well, we can only hope.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

GCR18 — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:10:25 GMT

I recently went to a training session at work that reviewed this topic. Sympathy is understanding the other person's feelings even though you haven't experienced them. Sorry you lost your job, it must be a difficult time for you. Empathy is knowing the other person's feelings because you experienced the same situation and felt them. I understand how you must feel, I lost a job once.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

Isobel Archer — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:13:30 GMT

Again, I think a lot depends on the situation.

Empathy is great, but if your friend is continually involving herself in abusive relationships, at what point do you recommend counseling - or even suggest that she might be endangering herself?

In that case, I do think you have to earn the right to say the above - and empathy does come first, but just "feeling her pain" isn't ultimately helping her.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

LilacTree — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:13:51 GMT

Whenever I say "I can empathize," it's because I have had my own experience with the issue, been through it, and understand it. I feel I am relating to the person.

Sympathy is different in that one does not have to have had the experience (e.g., the death of a loved one) but feels a great deal of compassion for someone who is going through a death or is having any kind of sad or difficult time.

Now I'll google it!

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

ROMARY — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:16:50 GMT

p.s. My first thought was: Well, I hope it works. I don't know if genuine empathy and heartfelt sympathy can be learned once a person is an adult and hasn't had those feelings. It's probably easier to 'train' babies/toddlers/children. You have to begin training them at a very early age. Feeling sorry for a younger sibling who is sad, etc. Also, taking good care of and being very careful with their pets. All kinds of 'training' that would be beneficial to youngsters. Training them to not be 'mean'. Having a conscience is important.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

lolakimono — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:18:54 GMT

@sidsmom wrote:
How can you “train” for this?

@sidsmom

I think the idea is that people are lacking personal connections, either because of their reliance on technology or the general "busyness" that kids are exposed to daily. There are certain skills that they have either never learned or have forgotten, like the ability to apologize to someone when there are hurt feelings. There are restorative justice programs being piloted in some schools. The emphasis on working together or cooperative learning creates problems when people hold grudges, cannot get along with others, or are unable to understand viewpoints that differ from their own.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

ROMARY — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:43:15 GMT

Lola: Love the cartoon! I actually had a cat who was friends with a white calico spotted gopher or mouse or whatever (in my back yard). My cat would just lay/lie next to it, dozing off, not at all interested in catching/eating it. Also, my cat made friends with a small duck. In fact, my cat decided that lettuce tasted good, after watching me feed that duck. The duck would peck at and eat the lettuce, and so would my cat! lol. It's amazing how some animals will 'copy' another critter. I call that a form of 'empathy'.

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

sidsmom — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:51:57 GMT

@lolakimono

Yes, the cartoon is cute!

IDK....I have to chew on this for a while.

My initial gut reaction is...it’s just part of our DNA.

It’s not a Nature vs Nurture situation.

Good topic to ponder over!

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

chrystaltree — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:52:25 GMT

How much of my grade depends on this? Is there an extra credit question?

Re: Professional Development: Empathy Training

software — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:55:29 GMT

to me Empathy indicates more of a connection with people.

One of the reasons group therapy can be successful.

You have a group of people with a similar experience who can empathize with each other rather than be surrounded by people who merely sympathize.

Such in the loss of a loved one. Many people with express sympathy, but sometimes you need more. You need to be around people who genuinely empathize. Many feelings and experiences are a "given". You don't have to explain everything, particularly to people who could never understand.

I understood this when I became a widow. You have married friends who sympathize and are genuine but they can't put themselves in your shoes and understand the deep loss of your "other half"

I've been through hurricanes and tornados, I can certainly empathize with others who have experienced it as well. I've experienced almost every kind of disaster- death, natural disaster, criminal victim, you name it. Like another poster mentioned, I really don't see how it can be learned. But on the other hand, there are many people, volunteers and professionals, who can be very effective in assisting people with loss. But I think every one of them have a back story that put them on that path.