topic Re: Feelings in Community Chat

Feelings

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 17:30:05 GMT

Why do some posters feel the need to tell others how to feel ? We are all different, thank goodness, and are all offended, appalled, or delighted by different things . We can disagree of course, but it is really presumptuous to instruct others on how to feel. Just my humble opinion.

Re: Feelings

Zhills — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 17:41:12 GMT

Same reason some think you need to EXPLAIN.

This is a board where you can express your opinion.

Why do you feel that I should explain my opinion?

It's my opinion!

Re: Feelings

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 17:54:40 GMT

@Zhills wrote:
Same reason some think you need to EXPLAIN.

This is a board where you can express your opinion.

Why do you feel that I should explain my opinion?

It's my opinion!

Certainly explanations are not necessary when posting an opinion; it is the poster's prerogative. But an explanation can clarify meanings and/or intentions behind an opinion.

Re: Feelings

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:11:30 GMT

I just wanted to say, what motivated my post, are replies that point out that with all of the misery in the world , why sweat the small stuff. I think we all are aware of the state of the world, but our life goes on and sometimes times the small stuff is what breaks the camels back. It is nice that you can get it off your chest here, and then move on.🌺

Re: Feelings

MickD — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:13:49 GMT

Feelings...nothing more than feelings....

Re: Feelings

software — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:16:35 GMT

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
Why do some posters feel the need to tell others how to feel ? We are all different, thank goodness, and are all offended, appalled, or delighted by different things . We can disagree of course, but it is really presumptuous to instruct others on how to feel. Just my humble opinion.

I know people like that IRL so why not here??

Re: Feelings

Zhills — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:29:18 GMT

Just my humble opinion.

No necessarily any "meanings and/or intentions behind an opinion." Just my humble opinion.

Everything posted does not have ulterior motives!

Re: Feelings

jaxs mom — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:29:52 GMT

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
Why do some posters feel the need to tell others how to feel ? We are all different, thank goodness, and are all offended, appalled, or delighted by different things . We can disagree of course, but it is really presumptuous to instruct others on how to feel. Just my humble opinion.

You mean like telling someone, "you're going to love it"? I don't know why people say that, because you can't possibly know if someone else is going to love something the way you do.

Re: Feelings

Daisy Sunflower — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:31:49 GMT

@jaxs mom wrote:
@QVCkitty1 wrote:
Why do some posters feel the need to tell others how to feel ? We are all different, thank goodness, and are all offended, appalled, or delighted by different things . We can disagree of course, but it is really presumptuous to instruct others on how to feel. Just my humble opinion.
You mean like telling someone, "you're going to love it"? I don't know why people say that, because you can't possibly know if someone else is going to love something the way you do.

It's just an expression. lol

Re: Feelings

jaxs mom — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:32:35 GMT

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
I just wanted to say, what motivated my post, are replies that point out that with all of the misery in the world , why sweat the small stuff. I think we all are aware of the state of the world, but our life goes on and sometimes times the small stuff is what breaks the camels back. It is nice that you can get it off your chest here, and then move on.🌺

That isn't telling someone else what to feel. It's offering another perspective. Just last night I was struggling with something and my BFF gave me his perspective which reminded me of how I usually deal with things I'm struggling with and I immediately felt better and was able to let the concern go.

Either you're open to that type of thing or you're not. I am.

Re: Feelings

jaxs mom — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:33:34 GMT

@Daisy wrote:
@jaxs mom wrote:
@QVCkitty1 wrote:
Why do some posters feel the need to tell others how to feel ? We are all different, thank goodness, and are all offended, appalled, or delighted by different things . We can disagree of course, but it is really presumptuous to instruct others on how to feel. Just my humble opinion.
You mean like telling someone, "you're going to love it"? I don't know why people say that, because you can't possibly know if someone else is going to love something the way you do.
It's just an expression. lol

I tell people I love something and then explain why Iove it. But I don't tell other people they're going to love something.

Re: Feelings

SXMGirl — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:36:03 GMT

I agree--it is my opinion. I also do not need to apologize for my opinion, which is what celebrities and politicians seem to be doing too often.

Re: Feelings

grandma petes — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 18:49:24 GMT

I love reading all of the posts here. I learn so much, laugh a lot and add to the conversation occasionally. I think for some people, this might be their only outlet to have their opinion heard. Do I agree with everyone....heavens no....do I think some posts are started just to create a little drama....absolutely. Because “anonymity” gives some people cart Blanche to say anything, there are things said that would be best left alone.

The best thing might be to just ignore a post if it angers/hurts/frustrates you. My grandma always said...”the least said is the easiest mended.”😊

Re: Feelings

Sueliz — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 19:00:37 GMT

@grandma petes wrote:
I love reading all of the posts here. I learn so much, laugh a lot and add to the conversation occasionally. I think for some people, this might be their only outlet to have their opinion heard. Do I agree with everyone....heavens no....do I think some posts are started just to create a little drama....absolutely. Because “anonymity” gives some people cart Blanche to say anything, there are things said that would be best left alone.

The best thing might be to just ignore a post if it angers/hurts/frustrates you. My grandma always said...”the least said is the easiest mended.”😊

@grandma petes, Your Grandma was a wise lady..

Re: Feelings

Noel7 — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 19:16:17 GMT

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
I just wanted to say, what motivated my post, are replies that point out that with all of the misery in the world , why sweat the small stuff. I think we all are aware of the state of the world, but our life goes on and sometimes times the small stuff is what breaks the camels back. It is nice that you can get it off your chest here, and then move on.🌺

@QVCkitty1

I totally agree with you. I also think there a lot of people around who don't feel much of anything in the way of compassion, and that's the problem.

Re: Feelings

VanSleepy — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 19:36:59 GMT

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
I just wanted to say, what motivated my post, are replies that point out that with all of the misery in the world , why sweat the small stuff. I think we all are aware of the state of the world, but our life goes on and sometimes times the small stuff is what breaks the camels back. It is nice that you can get it off your chest here, and then move on.🌺

I don't know what specifically motivated this, but I agree with the above. I just shake my head at responses similar to "If that was the biggest problem I had, I'd be a happy person." Who said the cashier today, the lost earring, the spoiled meat, etc., was their biggest problem?

(I just made up those examples, but there probably have been threads )

Re: Feelings

AngusandBuddhasMom — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 19:45:03 GMT

IMO, I ask a simple question because I am curious and just want the poster to expand on their one sentence reply that could be taken several ways. Instead of just replying or better yet ignoring they reply in a immature series of one word answers.

If I had not opened this thread several hours later I would not have seen that my ? apparently bothered them. I didn't ask to change their pov I was just interested in their POV.

Note to self stay clear of this one!

Re: Feelings

TheMemphisVette — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 20:16:13 GMT

kinda hard to say people cannot have an opinion about others opinions.

this assumes no person is bashed in the opinion or the opinion of the opinion. then all bets are off, they need to go down. so not cool.

Re: Feelings

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 20:17:49 GMT

@VanSleepy wrote:
@QVCkitty1 wrote:
I just wanted to say, what motivated my post, are replies that point out that with all of the misery in the world , why sweat the small stuff. I think we all are aware of the state of the world, but our life goes on and sometimes times the small stuff is what breaks the camels back. It is nice that you can get it off your chest here, and then move on.🌺

I don't know what specifically motivated this, but I agree with the above. I just shake my head at responses similar to "If that was the biggest problem I had, I'd be a happy person." Who said the cashier today, the lost earring, the spoiled meat, etc., was their biggest problem?

(I just made up those examples, but there probably have been threads )

@VanSleepy, That is exactly the kind of response that I was referring to. Someone one said it's just from another perspective, but I don't buy that. To me it is judgement, and unnecessary.

Re: Feelings

Moonchilde — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 22:24:43 GMT

@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
IMO, I ask a simple question because I am curious and just want the poster to expand on their one sentence reply that could be taken several ways. Instead of just replying or better yet ignoring they reply in a immature series of one word answers.

If I had not opened this thread several hours later I would not have seen that my ? apparently bothered them. I didn't ask to change their pov I was just interested in their POV.

Note to self stay clear of this one!

So many people think they’re being “attacked” when they put forth a situation or vent or ask a question, and feel they “have” to rebut, defend, explain, excuse what they’ve said, and “challenge” those with a different POV as if it’s expected; it’s not.

If I read a thread where I disagree with what someone said, all I really might want to do is express my own opinion or POV and move on, in the sense that they’ve expressed their POV, I’ve expressed mine, and that can be that, with no further back-and-forth necessary. BUT - people think they have to do a t*t-for-tat thing and “win”, keep it going, call for reinforcements, or whatever. You don’t “need” to do this.

And no, one shouldn’t “have to” defend their opinion. But many posters are the “debater” type over every single topic that comes up and insist on pushing others to “defend their position” or “prove” their opinion - and if they decline to do that, the debater “wins.” IMO - ewww.

Some topics absolutely benefit from explanation and clarification, if a continued discussion is agreeable to both parties. If it’s not agreeable to both parties (or not necessary for the topic), one person trying to force another to defend their opinion, making insinuations, “going FTW” and etc is what makes so many threads go ugly-a** on participants and wonder WT* happened when a thread is closed or poofed.

And because some people never, ever, seem to “get” that it’s all just our opinion, whether we state it after every paragraph or not...JMO.