topic Re: Grief in Community Chat

Grief

gidgetgh — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:12:49 GMT

Just comes out of nowhere and slams into you sometimes. Sneaky little son of a.....gun.

I was folding laundry a few minutes ago. Mundane, routine, mind numbingly boring stuff. And out of nowhere I started to cry, grieving for my dad, who passed away last year. I have no idea why. But out of the blue, I’m missing him big time tonight. Maybe it’s because he didn’t like folding his laundry either, LOL.

And in the middle of it all, I’m getting a migraine and have the visual auras which is my migraine pre-cursor. I’m a mess.

But it will all pass.

Just my random musing for tonight.

Re: Grief

suzyQ3 — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:15:38 GMT

@gidgetgh wrote:
Just comes out of nowhere and slams into you sometimes. Sneaky little son of a.....gun.

I was folding laundry a few minutes ago. Mundane, routine, mind numbingly boring stuff. And out of nowhere I started to cry, grieving for my dad, who passed away last year. I have no idea why. But out of the blue, I’m missing him big time tonight. Maybe it’s because he didn’t like folding his laundry either, LOL.

And in the middle of it all, I’m getting a migraine and have the visual auras which is my migraine pre-cursor. I’m a mess.

But it will all pass.

Just my random musing for tonight.

Aw. @gidgetgh, it certainly will pass. Stuff can just hit you out of the blue for sure, but I wonder whether there was any connection between the grief that took hold of you and that migraine that did as well.

Re: Grief

NorthernLights — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:16:52 GMT

I comes unexpectedly doesn't it? But sometimes when you need the release the most. Sending hugs your way.

Re: Grief

gidgetgh — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:19:52 GMT

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@gidgetgh wrote:
Just comes out of nowhere and slams into you sometimes. Sneaky little son of a.....gun.

I was folding laundry a few minutes ago. Mundane, routine, mind numbingly boring stuff. And out of nowhere I started to cry, grieving for my dad, who passed away last year. I have no idea why. But out of the blue, I’m missing him big time tonight. Maybe it’s because he didn’t like folding his laundry either, LOL.

And in the middle of it all, I’m getting a migraine and have the visual auras which is my migraine pre-cursor. I’m a mess.

But it will all pass.

Just my random musing for tonight.
Aw. @gidgetgh, it certainly will pass. Stuff can just hit you out of the blue for sure, but I wonder whether there was any connection between the grief that took hold of you and that migraine that did as well.

@suzyQ3- I have no idea. The auras started just as I was finishing up shaving my legs, to be honest. Dermatologist visit tomorrow morning and I was doing a little advance preparation, LOL. Just as I was finishing up I thought “hmmmm, my visual auras are starting.” I walked out of the bathroom and glared at the laundry on the bed and thought of my dad and that was that. Who knows. I took my migraine medication immediately so hopefully it will lessen the severity of the headache when it hits.

Re: Grief

JaneMarple — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:20:43 GMT

Cyber hugs to you @gidgetgh.

Re: Grief

Preds — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:22:58 GMT

I miss and think about my father everyday, too. I have moments like yours. I've decided that those are the times that he is touching my shoulder or giving me a hug to let me know that it's still OK. I just let the tears flow and remember. That's love.

Re: Grief

hckynut — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:24:10 GMT

Pretty common thing for me to have thoughts pop into my head just any ole time. Most are just things I remember, some good/some not so good, but mostly pretty neutral. No headaches or other physical reactions, just thoughts.

I like this when it happens, regardless of what it is about.

hckynut(john)

Re: Grief

GSPgirl — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:24:17 GMT

Yes, it will get better. Every once in awhile I will see something that reminds me of my dad, but I don’t burst into tears anymore. I cherish the good memories. Hugs.

Re: Grief

QVCkitty1 — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:24:55 GMT

My BFF's husband died unexpectedly this week, and I feel so bad for her. She is in the middle of her own health problems and this is such a blow.

Re: Grief

Noel7 — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:25:45 GMT

@gidgetgh wrote:
Just comes out of nowhere and slams into you sometimes. Sneaky little son of a.....gun.

I was folding laundry a few minutes ago. Mundane, routine, mind numbingly boring stuff. And out of nowhere I started to cry, grieving for my dad, who passed away last year. I have no idea why. But out of the blue, I’m missing him big time tonight. Maybe it’s because he didn’t like folding his laundry either, LOL.

And in the middle of it all, I’m getting a migraine and have the visual auras which is my migraine pre-cursor. I’m a mess.

But it will all pass.

Just my random musing for tonight.

@gidgetgh

It's possible your migraine triggered your emotional reaction, or vice versa.

I hope you can rest for awhile, take care.

Re: Grief

JaneMarple — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:28:44 GMT

@gidgetgh I don't think that grief ever goes away, my dad died at the age of 55 when I was 16 and never got to see his grandchildren. I still cry thinking of him all the time.

Re: Grief

Mom2Dogs — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:34:38 GMT

@gidgetgh...I recently came across a letter my dad wrote to me when we were going thru a rough patch, I thought I had thrown the letter away as I didn't want any one to find it after I was 'gone'....just seeing his handwriting, which was very distinct made me cry, then I read the letter again, sigh.....

I am sorry for your loss, 1 year is not a long time, my dad died in 2001, so just saying that grief does not end, just hits you upside the head when you least expect it.

Re: Grief

Bri36 — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:51:08 GMT

I understand

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death - 4 years. I've been weepy all day.

Hope your migraine eases up @gidgetgh❤️

Re: Grief

gidgetgh — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:53:09 GMT

@Bri36 wrote:
I understand

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death - 4 years. I've been weepy all day.

Hope your migraine eases up @gidgetgh❤️

@Bri36- sending hugs to you. It’s very hard.

Migraine will I’ll be fine. I took my migraine pill immediately and the headache hasn’t quite started yet so it will be fine.

Re: Grief

Mominohio — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:55:10 GMT

@gidgetgh

I can totally relate. My dad passed in the 1970's when I was 18 years old.

I really thought I did well with it all....I was young, headed to college, had a busy and full life. It was expected, I had time to deal with what was coming.

And I continued to deal well with it all my life...until the last few years. I guess it is age and hormones, but I find myself crying over the loss of him for all these years now, when I went decades and did not.

And you are right. It comes at the most unexpected times, but I have noticed that if I am getting sick (like a bug with a fever), I get totally overwhelmed about it and can cry for hours as I feel miserable from the bug as well.

Hope your medication works and you don't feel the full effects of the migraine. Hugs too, for the seemingly uncontrollable nature of this thing that just grips us and needs to move through us as we grieve.

Re: Grief

Bri36 — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:55:48 GMT

Grief is just something that can never be explained sometimes.

Re: Grief

blackhole99 — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:56:41 GMT

My parents have been dead for years, I still miss my Mother, but my Father was the worst. I love movies and when I see scenes in a movie about how much a Dad loves his kids and puts them first, I just burst into tears every time. My Dad was never their for us unless there was something in it for him, I so envy people who have had loving fathers.

Re: Grief

NAES1 — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 00:10:12 GMT

@JaneMarple wrote:
@gidgetgh I don't think that grief ever goes away, my dad died at the age of 55 when I was 16 and never got to see his grandchildren. I still cry thinking of him all the time.

@JaneMarple,

Your emotional response was so touching. I thought the sadness from your life was exactly `that`- dying so young and never had the excitement in knowing, experiencing your children.

There is nothing like your own children or knowing the love of being a grandparent. "Hugs and a smiling face for your father from me as he watches over your entire family"

My mother ( a true 'Saint on Earth') did die so young, absolutely unexpectedly- two weeks after I had celebrated my birthday-two full weeks {another state} we.. had together), but she and daddy did glow when their grandchild was born, spending many years while he was very young.

So, I do understand that void you must have had being a mom and no DAD / grandpa to know how wonderful- how rewarding his love was not known by them.

Sending you a huge hug with a of gold to a lovely woman.

~ NAES

Re: Grief

JaneMarple — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 00:17:13 GMT

@NAES1 wrote:
@JaneMarple wrote:
@gidgetgh I don't think that grief ever goes away, my dad died at the age of 55 when I was 16 and never got to see his grandchildren. I still cry thinking of him all the time.

@JaneMarple,

Your emotional response was so touching. I thought the sadness from your life was exactly `that`- dying so young and never had the excitement in knowing, experiencing your children.

There is nothing like your own children or knowing the love of being a grandparent. "Hugs and a smiling face for your father from me as he watches over your entire family"

My mother ( a true 'Saint on Earth') did die so young, absolutely unexpectedly- two weeks after I had celebrated my birthday-two full weeks {another state} we.. had together), but she and daddy did glow when their grandchild was born, spending many years while he was very young.
So, I do understand that void you must have had being a mom and no DAD / grandpa to know how wonderful- how rewarding his love was not known by them.

Sending you a huge hug with a of gold to a lovely woman.

~ NAES

I had to exhale before replying @NAES1, you wrote exactly what I'm feeling. Thank you so very much.

XOXO

Re: Grief

Q4u — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 00:17:34 GMT

And screaming in your car really, really helps.....

I lost both my parents in the same year about 21 years ago. I'm an only child with no relatives in this country other than my DH and two sons....

Yes, it will sneak up on you and then years down the road, the tears and yearning stop being so intense and the wonderful memories come. I didn't (and don't) have anyone that remembers them when I was a baby and little girl.... that's been hard. But my family on my husband's side (and there's many of them) have made me feel wonderful.

Here's hoping that each day forward lessens the grief, and that all your memories and dreams are good ones.... take care....