topic Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR in Community Chat

FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Spinach30 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:21:58 GMT

Hi all! A good friend of mine has been married a few years. She married later in life (in her late fifties and so is her husband). Her husband bought a house (very expensive) when they married and they live in it (about two years). Their arrangement is he pays the mortgage and property taxes (from income from his sole investments). She pays for all the household bills (electric, water, etc.) and buys the groceries and pays for vacations. Now, her question to me is do I think that's fair. He owns the house and when the time comes to sell or if either one dies, he gets all the proceeds except for the difference in any equity on the property which would be split 50/50 (assuming property values continue to rise). She has invested over $40,000 of her own money on updates to the home. They each have their separate accounts and no joint accounts. He has stopped working and she continues to earn a salary.

What are you're thoughts on their arrangement. Fair or not?

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

adamlambert — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:32:15 GMT

if her name is on the house I don't see a problem. Do they file joint income taxes? I had a similar arrangement until I quit working. Worked out well. I would assume he contributes to the IRAs' savings and other investments.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

excpa — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:31:03 GMT

If they agreed to this at one time, it's fair. If she wants to renegotiate the agreement, that's fair, too. Good luck.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

sunshine45 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:31:15 GMT

if it wasnt what she wanted or wasnt "FAIR" at the time they decided to do this, then she probably should not be complaining. is the house ONLY in his name?

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Spinach30 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:32:48 GMT

The house is in his name only.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

sunshine45 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:33:54 GMT

@Spinach30 wrote:
The house is in his name only.

i cannot believe she agreed to that......and if she did, then she made a big mistake.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Spinach30 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:34:33 GMT

@Adamlambert wrote:
if her name is on the house I don't see a problem. Do they file joint income taxes? I had a similar arrangement until I quit working. Worked out well. I would assume he contributes to the IRAs' savings and other investments.

Theyt have no joint accounts or investments.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Bri36 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:35:31 GMT

She should have her name on the house.

If she doesn't think it's fair, she needs to bring it up to her husband so they can work out a solution.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

sunshine45 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:37:20 GMT

i sure do hope they both have wills!

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

queendiva — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:37:51 GMT

Fair, but maybe not smart on her part. Why did she invest $40K in "his" house? If for her taste and/or comfort, then OK. Sounds like she's having second thoughts after the fact.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

WenGirl42 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:37:59 GMT

I'm assuming that since the OP said the husband bought the house, only his name is on it.

It sounds fair to me as laid out, although her understanding of what she's entitled to from the sale of the home isn't quite correct (at the very least since she has spent her own money on improvements, but it might also matter in her state if the husband purchased the home after they were legally married). She should consult an attorney to make sure she knows what she is actually entitled to if she doesn't trust her husband to have her best interest in mind.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

tansy — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:38:50 GMT

If I were in her position, I wouldn't have sunk 40k of my money into up-grades to the home.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Moonchilde — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:41:52 GMT

Based on the agreement, I feel it was foolish of her to fork over money for the maintenance and improvement of the house. That wasn't in the agreement, she did it voluntarily (perhaps some remodeling/redecorating she wanted done and he wouldn't pay for?). So now I wonder if that $40,000+ is gnawing at her.

Whether the agreement is "fair" or not, she entered into it with a mature and competent mind. She can't suddenly decide it's not fair. Well, she can, but legally she agreed to it, period. She could certainly push it, and her husband, to change things - but going only by what you've said in the OP, that could end in divorce. Is she ready for that? It doesn't sound to me as if it's any great can't-live-without-em love match.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

adamlambert — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:43:34 GMT

imho it's not financially smart. They must file separate tax returns and just that eliminates a huge deduction. Taxes aside, I would never,ever agree to that. I'm a suspicious person and there's a reason she isn't on the house. What is it?! I definitely would not have paid a penny for a house that's not in my name. Why did she do that? Her own free will?

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Spinach30 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:44:03 GMT

I think marrying later in life brings on these issues. They do seem to care for each other very much.

@Moonchilde wrote:
Based on the agreement, I feel it was foolish of her to fork over money for the maintenance and improvement of the house. That wasn't in the agreement, she did it voluntarily (perhaps some remodeling/redecorating she wanted done and he wouldn't pay for?). So now I wonder if that $40,000+ is gnawing at her.

Whether the agreement is "fair" or not, she entered into it with a mature and competent mind. She can't suddenly decide it's not fair. Well, she can, but legally she agreed to it, period. She could certainly push it, and her husband, to change things - but going only by what you've said in the OP, that could end in divorce. Is she ready for that? It doesn't sound to me as if it's any great can't-live-without-em love match.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

ALRATIBA — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:45:27 GMT

I can't say whether it's fair or not. She obviously agreed to the arrangement.

If she signed a pre-nup ... I would hope she consulted an attorney beforehand. And ... depends on community property laws in her state.

If he dies first ... his will governs what happens to the house.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

Spinach30 — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:47:05 GMT

@Adamlambert wrote:
imho it's not financially smart. They must file separate tax returns and just that eliminates a huge deduction. Taxes aside, I would never,ever agree to that. I'm a suspicious person and there's a reason she isn't on the house. What is it?! I definitely would not have paid a penny for a house that's not in my name. Why did she do that? Her own free will?

Interesting, why do they need to file separate returns? They are married.

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

adamlambert — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:52:59 GMT

no joint accounts??? Again, suspicious!!

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

I am still oxox — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:54:08 GMT

Wow as they say there's a s*ker born every minute, was his sole ownership of the home contingent on their marriage, was she so "in love" or desperate to agree to a set up like this. DH and I bought and apt before we were married and my folks "demanded" that we share the cost and we drew up paper work as what would happen if we split up

Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

millieshops — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 17:55:25 GMT

Fair and legal might be two different things - and without the exact wording of their agreement in front of us, anything we decide tells more about how we think than what can or should be done in this situation.

Almost the only thing I'm confident I know is that I wouldn't want to be in that relationship right now.