topic Re: Major life decissions in Community Chat

Major life decissions

goldensrbest — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:10:06 GMT

I have a very major decission to make, it will be life changing for me, won't go into what ,but do you listen to your heart,or what your head tells you.

Re: Major life decissions

Cakers3 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:13:50 GMT

@goldensrbest What are the consequences of either one?

I cannot answer this for you other than to advise you that the answer is already in you-you just need to realize which will be the best for you (consequences are either positive or negative).

All the best to you.

Re: Major life decissions

WenGirl42 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:16:50 GMT

I give greater weight to my head...it's the one who's going to have to figure out the logistics of making whatever I've decided work! I'd always rather decide based on intellect than emotion. I wish you peace in making your decision and in living it out afterwards.

Re: Major life decissions

kitcat51 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:28:21 GMT

Major decisions should be made with truth, reason & facts not emotions. All the best to you.

Re: Major life decissions

YorkieonmyPillow — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:29:54 GMT

@goldensrbest Your head.

Your heart can be swayed and be wrong, if you use your head, you won't be wrong.

Re: Major life decissions

Shopaholic Jan — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:33:17 GMT

I am in my 50's, and I would say from my experiences in life that my heart (my soul) has never steered me wrong. Trust that your soul is guiding you on a path toward your greater good. Then use your head to make it all work out for you. God bless and god luck!

Re: Major life decissions

Cakers3 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:33:36 GMT

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@goldensrbest Your head.
Your heart can be swayed and be wrong, if you use your head, you won't be wrong.

@YorkieonmyPillowOnly if she is completely honest. Facts can be skewered in our minds, too, because we can see what we want to see and rationalize it with our own facts. Thinking can be swayed by the "heart" but it can also be swayed by not owning all the facts and subsequent consequences.

Re: Major life decissions

millieshops — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:36:30 GMT

@goldensrbestWouldn't it be wonderful if our head and our heart gave us the same answer/ Way too easy, huh?

I'd like to think my head rules, but I'm probably wrong lots of times, so with a major decision like yours, I'd sit down with a pen and paper and write. And write. And write. I'd make myself see what's really in my mind.

I do the writing because what I've found is that my heart seems to know where it wants to go, but my mind isn't as co-operative and ideas, both pro and con, hide away. For me, the writing process helps me focus and figure out what I really know I'm gaining or losing however I decide.

Re: Major life decissions

Hoovermom — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:36:56 GMT

@goldensrbest: If it is a major life changing decision, I would seek the best friend I know and share all of your thoughts. This person should be close enough to you to point out the pros and cons AFTER you have told them how you are leaning toward your conclusion. I always feel if it a major decision, there is counsel in numbers. Good luck!!

Re: Major life decissions

Mominohio — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:39:50 GMT

You asked a specific question to which you will indeed receive answers on both sides.

What I would suggest is finding someone you really trust and value their opinions, values, life choices etc. and talk through what you are thinking.

I have a best friend, and we approach things quite differently many times (politics, child rearing etc.), but when I want someone to help sort out things I'm not sure about, that I'm considering all sides of, or struggling with, I know I need to have the input of someone who won't sugar coat things, will think of things related to my issue that I might not have, and someone that is removed enough to not let their 'heart' be the only thing deciding.

Big decisions often need to be bounced off of someone, so you can really hear what you are saying and planning, not just in your own head.

Re: Major life decissions

Libbylady — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:40:02 GMT

I have always felt that change we create for ourselves are fine.

It's changes that are imposed on us that s*ck!

Re: Major life decissions

Gardengal55 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:43:01 GMT

Only you can answer that. You know your life, your past history and your current situation. This decision, whichever you choose, will undoubtedly affect not only you but others around you in some way for the rest of your life and possible after. IMO, one should be realistic--if you are a young person starting out in the world of career or family planning sometimes risks (heart) are easier or less stressful to shoulder than at a later stage in life. Finances, health, family dynamics all can throw a wrench into plans no matter what age one is. Matters of the heart are tricky and I always feel these types of decisions should be tempered with the head.

I guess if you are going to benefit from this decision and it is not going to adversely affect your future in some way, you should go for it.. But it is difficult to suggest what to do without knowing exactly what type of major decision you need to make. I, personally, almost always follow my head--too logical perhaps. Most times those decisions were the best, other times not.

Whichever you decide, I wish you good luck and peace!

Re: Major life decissions

meallen616 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 13:46:28 GMT

Whatever decision you choose,

Re: Major life decissions

susan kay — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:08:14 GMT

Without anyone knowing the details, it sounds as if you have some good advice already given.....to speak with someone who knows you well and someone whose opinion you trust. Maybe a friend who can give you a different perspective might help.

I don't know if this phrase applies, but I'll throw it out anyway---"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten". (don't know who originally said this)

Re: Major life decissions

SaRina — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:12:08 GMT

When you're in a quandry, like it seems you are, the best thing to do is to sit down and write out the Pros and Cons lists. Hopefully, this will bring some clarity to your situation.

Re: Major life decissions

Drythe — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:14:50 GMT

@goldensrbest

Sending you all the very best wishes and hope for your decision.

I listen to my heart first and listen, and question until I can write down (I know that sounds strange), not just generalize about, exacty what it is telling me.

Then working from that, I ask my head will I be able to do this? What are the pros and cons, how close to it can I come to what I want.

I work in the geratric field. One of the things I ave heard over and over is "Regrets are generally most strong about the things you didn't do, v/s the things you did."

I carry two major regrets in my heart, both are for things I did not do and can not go back and repair, I have to live with them and it is hard.

This must be a very important mission you have facing you, again, wishing you clarity and stregnth.

Re: Major life decissions

Financialgrl — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:18:28 GMT

Head, always head for me.

Re: Major life decissions

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:22:26 GMT

Of course you should use your intellect, however, don't discount your gut instincts.

Re: Major life decissions

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:38:06 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
I have a very major decission to make, it will be life changing for me, won't go into what ,but do you listen to your heart,or what your head tells you.

@goldensrbest

I second the Pros and Cons list.

Whenever you're making a major life decision, such as divorce, by all means, use your head.

Yes, your heart should have an opinion that you consider, but it shouldn't be the deciding factor. Use your head.

Re: Major life decissions

chrystaltree — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 14:36:20 GMT

Hearts lie and tell us what we want to hear; our heads tend to tell us the truth even when we don't want to know the truth.