topic Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU? in Community Chat

WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

itiswhatitis — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 02:49:48 GMT

The Mean Obituary!

North Carolina newspaper runs mean obituary for great-grandmother who ‘will not be missed’

What a sendoff.

A North Carolina newspaper published a scathing, possibly plagiarized obituary of an 82-year-old great-grandmother that accused her of being a drug addict — enraging her relatives.

“Drugs were a major love in her life as June had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life,” the June 27obituary, published in the Cherokee Scout, says of Florida resident Cornelia June Rogers Miller.

“We speak for the majority of her family when we say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed, and there will be no lamenting over her passing.”

Read the entire article at:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/nc-newspaper-runs-obituary-great-grandmother-article-1.3311...

*Call Tyrone*

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

catlvr — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 02:58:05 GMT

Your reap what you sow. I really don't like obits that are totally reaching or something good to say...tell it like it is.

catlvr

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

happycat — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 03:07:11 GMT

Lord I hope not.

@itiswhatitis, that pic below your name...is that you? Who ever that woman is, she is gorgeous.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Isobel Archer — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 03:07:35 GMT

Well if she wouldn't be missed, then I don't see the point of paying for an obituary.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

NycVixen — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 03:13:26 GMT

I don't think I can ever support this. Regardless if a relative is mean, one should let the deceased rest in peace.

If she really behaved the way she is being described then it's not news to anyone that would be interested in reading her obituary. She's gone and that bitterness will only affect those that take pleasure in her death.

We will all pass one day. I think this is asking for bad luck.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Plaid Pants2 — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 03:17:50 GMT

Boy, that is one messed up family.

The daughters are obviously very bitter towards their mother, and I find that to be very sad.

Was June really an addict?

Who knows?

Obits like that to me, says more about the writer, than it does about the one who died.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

RedTop — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 03:54:01 GMT

A much despised cousin who died 6 years ago truly deserved this type of obituary. My dad severed ties with him many years ago, and I hadn't spoken to him for 12 years before his death. None of my family attended his services.

His obituary was a ridiculous "heroic fairytale filled with incorrect information", written by his youngest daughter, who had no clue how the family felt about her dad. Since there were less than 30 people at his funeral, it was quite obvious he was not a popular person. My cousin has been quite embarrassed by the information she has learned in the years after her dad's passing, and realizes she should've gone with cremation and private burial in the family plot.

Even if people deserve this type of obituary, I don't think this is respectable, or the right thing to do. Just keep everything low key and simple as far as arrangements, let go, and move on.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Alter Ego — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 04:41:46 GMT

I've seen this on my Facebook feed and it's always "interesting" to read the comments there...and here.

My understanding is that this obit was written months after the death and not in a local newspaper. Many of the comments on Facebook assumed the obit was telling the truth, but, in reality, it is the opinion of one person. I suppose many people here has at least one person they didn't get along with - a family member or co-worker that they didn't see eye to eye with.

Maybe it is the truth. Maybe it isn't. The high majority of people responding will never know.

The obit starts off with something like "most of the family" - even they are saying that some of the family didn't feel this way. And, that alone, is enough to NOT write this. Sometimes, one needs to consider the living.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

shoekitty — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 04:59:31 GMT

Personally, it makes who ever wrote it look really bad. I dont know the person, but they dont sound like someone I would want around. Sounds like they harbor resentment, anger and poor impulse control. Anyway, jmho

there is a lot to be said for just zipping it, and getting on with life. I would make it a point to avoid being like this person they wrote about. What does it solve? For God's sake, the dead cant read the obituary.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

NicksmomESQ — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 05:08:56 GMT

I have mixed feelings about this type of obituary.On the one hand I'm thinking why dredge this up after the person dies.But then I'm thinking that sometimes people are so mistreated & hurt that they need to vent so they can move on.Some people are truely damaged & must confront their pain in order to heal.

Therefore,I cannot judge these sisters for expressing their pain.Everyone deals with disappointment differently. This family has a lot to work through!!

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

beach-mom — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 05:23:25 GMT

Would my family do this to me? I hope not!

When my brother died at 27 I wrote his obituary. He wanted me to. The paper was understanding and published it exactly as I wrote it. Ten years later when my mom died there was someone else in charge of that section. Again I wrote her obituary and gave it to the funeral home to give to the paper. I had already talked to the writer about it, and he seemed fine with it.

When it was published, I was waiting to get copies to send to other relatives. A friend called me and said I wasn't going to be happy. I was heartbroken when I read it. He didn't use anything I had written. My mom had an interesting life, and you would have never known because none of it was mentioned. He mentioned her sister and brothers, but left her grandchildren - my children - out! He mixed up the hospital where she worked. It was awful, and there was nothing I could do. I have it, but I didn't send it to anyone else. I did show my aunt (my mom's twin), and she was disappointed too.

I feel bad for this lady's family and friends. I think the writer could have found something good to print about her life. She was a person with a heart and feelings. I'm sure there was someone who is sad she is gone.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Shorty2U — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 05:25:07 GMT

As someone who is extremely close to my family I find that so sad and well pathetic. I get upset when families don't get a long. I'm not in that situation but If they didn't like her why even put that in the paper at all?

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Kachina624 — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 05:41:15 GMT

@Isobel Archer wrote:
Well if she wouldn't be missed, then I don't see the point of paying for an obituary.

@Isobel Archer I agree, why did they even bother with the obit? If you can't say something nice, just keep your mouth shut. You don't have to have an obituary.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Blingqueen023 — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 06:00:47 GMT

II wouldn't care at all because I won't be alive to even know my obit said negative things about me. Wouldn't hurt me at all.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Desertdi — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 08:41:21 GMT

Yeah.....probably. I don't meet their McMansion "standards".............

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Financialgrl — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 10:19:10 GMT

When someone dies those that know the deceased know the true deal so I have just as much a problem with an obit villifying someone as I do with those I've read of the most flowery loving tribute given to the most miserable ppl I've met in life. Few years ago I read an obit of a nasty horrible neighbor and it was like you could almost hear ppl laughing and wondering who this person was they were describing. It'd be so much easier if all obits were "just the facts" and move on.

ALso, I wonder how such obits make it into the paper. When dad died, the only way I could get an obit in our local paper was to submit it through the funeral home. OUr town newspapers didn't want to take the responsibility of having to fact check all deaths and they wouldn't run an obit without doing so for fear of running an obit that someone submitted as a prank. If I were the funeral home I'd just not forward or submit such an obit as the one in this thread.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Nataliesgramma — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 10:50:23 GMT

Disrespectful......They could have just had the body cremated with nothing in the paper.

I am sure that the people who knew the person knew what they were like and probably would rather not attend any kind of memorial...

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

chiclet — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 10:51:11 GMT

Maybe the grandmother was everything they said but they are mean and ugly to publish this. I understand that you would not want to say nice things about her that were not true so just don't say anything. Just don't do an obituary at all.

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

Moonchilde — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 11:57:33 GMT

This was in the NY Daily News - a fake news rag.

That being said, whether or not this particular obit was plagiarized (or real), it's not the first one. Someone posted on the forums a few months back the same type of obit for a male. So there will apparently continue to be copycat trash-the-deceased reviews reported from now on - it seems to have "caught on" as a Thing now - the reporting it in the media, that is.

Are they real? Who knows. But I myself wouldn't accept any of them as gospel. They do make a good story for the rags, though, and they certainly outrage and disgust people - which is exactly what printing this "news" is meant to do.

Has one of these ever been actually printed? Maybe. Probably somewhere, at one point in time. Are all the reports popping up real? I highly doubt it. As a friend used to say, they couldn't print it in the Enquirer if it wasn't true 😜

Re: WOULD YOUR FAMILY DO THIS TO YOU?

jubilant — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 11:58:05 GMT

While there are evil people out there and I feel for those who have to deal with them, I feel it's best to let it die with that person.

If the newspapers allow this, it could really get out of hand and some innocent people could be hurt. There are evil people out there who might want to make the innocent look bad when they die. I don't think newspapers should print nasty obituraries (even if they are true). While writing this may be theraputic for some people, this is not the time or place to do it, imo.