topic Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning in Community Chat

I am angry and sick with grief this morning

jubilant — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 10:45:14 GMT

My dear dad has been in a nursing home almost 4 yrs. now. Our family is there very often. This past week they put a 90 yr. old man in with him who is not "right in his mind". He crawled into bed with my dad and tried to get into his depends briefs. Dad was asleep and woke up to this. My father is extremely weak and bedridden. He cannot walk. He cannot even turn himself over in bed. He has lost all his bodily functions. We called Hospice in for him about 2 or 3 weeks ago and they come to the nursing home.......... so that tells you how weak he is.

I am angered beyond belief because they put this man in with my Dad (as his new roomate for several weeks) KNOWING THAT THIS MAN HAD DONE THIS BEFORE to someone else. How in God's name could they justify putting him in the same room with my dad (or anyone for that matter as their roommate?? ) This elderly man is weak in his mind but strong in his body. Needless to say we moved Dad to a different home yesterday and I am filing complaints with the Dept. of health and the omsbedum against this home in hopes that this will not happen to another person.

We realize that this is not the fault of the old man....he is demented. As far as the family sees it....it was gross negligence. The negligence of this nursing home in putting someone this capable of harming another person and who has attempted to molest and maybe even rape another person...especially someone weak and frail and probably in his last few months of life ...Well it's beyond our comprehension. I just want to put my head in my hands and bawl. Please pray for us if we come to mind today.

The administrator of the home had the gall to tell my mom that no harm was done and this would never happen again. Thankfully, he didn't rape my dad but he intended to get into his brief if he could. Thankfully, Dad had enough strength to scream out and be heard. The last couple of weeks he was so sick we thought we might loose him.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

sim2222 — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 10:26:35 GMT

That is terrible. I would sue for sure!

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

sligo — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 10:33:18 GMT

Having your dad so sick is heartbreaking for you and your family. My heart is with all of you. I would most def. contact all authorities( sorry about SP. So upset cannot think straight) about this situation. Nursing home staff is only concerned about themselves! I would not allow them to shrug this off saying it won't happen again. This is your only dad. Do the right thing. YOUR FAMILY comes first. Please keep in touch. Will remember you and your family every day. ( I have lost my dad. The hurt NEVER goes away.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

goldensrbest — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 10:39:26 GMT

You have every right to be angry, glad you moved him.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

Bri36 — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 10:58:08 GMT

I am very sorry that happened to your dad.

Thankfully, he has your family to see to it that his best interests are met. Hopefully, he's in a much better place now.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

AuntG — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:16:16 GMT

It is very unfortunate. I'm inclined to be a bit more forgiving of the home because the behavior of the other man might have been a first time thing. That man is declining too and it is hard to predict what might or might not happen.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

RinaRina — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:24:48 GMT

You need to get a lawyer ASAP. I'm not kidding.

"Reckless Endangerment" ...

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

RinaRina — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:27:12 GMT

@RinaRina wrote:
You need to get a lawyer ASAP. I'm not kidding.
"Reckless Endangerment" ...

Edit:
Oh! I see, you moved him.

"Needless to say we moved Dad to a different home yesterday and I am filing complaints with the Dept. of health and the omsbedum against this home in hopes that this will not happen to another person."

I filed a complaint with the DoH a year ago and never heard a word from them.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

Renata22 — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:34:53 GMT

I'm so sorry this happened to your loved one. This truly breaks my heart.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

drizzellla — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:36:59 GMT

Sadly I think it happens too often. When someone does unacceptable things the nursing home just keeps moving the person around. Sadly, they moved him into your Dad's room.

And what makes it even more stressful is that you had to move your Dad to a new home.

That additional stress on your Dad and your family - by the "incident "and moving and adjusting to a new nursing home.

My Dad was in a nursing home for 10 years. And 2 weeks before he died he went to a hospital in Philadelphia. His roomate was a 25 year old drug addict. The drug addict was standing up bouncing up and down on his bed screaming for nurses or on the phone trying to get someone to deliver drugs to the hospital. I was scared to leave my Dad alone with this guy. We talked to the nurses about the situation and they said there were no other available beds. I could go on and on.

I am glad you are being proactive with your Dad. I wish him well in the new nursing home.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

sligo — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:38:05 GMT

If you are not able to obtain help from health deptand other health agencies. I may consider asking police how you can handle. No excuses. YOU only have one dad. YOu have done the right THING!!!!!

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

jubilant — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 11:42:59 GMT

@AuntG wrote:
It is very unfortunate. I'm inclined to be a bit more forgiving of the home because the behavior of the other man might have been a first time thing. That man is declining too and it is hard to predict what might or might not happen.

You are mistaken. We were informed by several people who work at the home that this man had done this before. Dad was not the first person he did this to. They knew when they put him in Dad's room that he had done this to someone else in this same home. They were totally aware of this and did it anyway. I have no sympathy for them.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

NickNack — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 15:15:21 GMT

I'm so sorry that this happened to your dad and very thankful he was able to call for help. It's good you were able to get him out of there quickly. I hope he does well in the new nursing home. I am not big on suing but this situation merits it.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

itsmagic — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 12:44:04 GMT

That is terrible! I'm so sorry to hear this happened to your dad.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 12:52:08 GMT

Oh, I am so sorry. That is beyond terrible and disturbing. Yes, of course, they knew. And it was THEIR fault and responsibility, not the man's as he is not responsible for his actions. Your poor father. To be so ill and to be subjected to this. I agree with you !00% and they need to be punished for this. Thanks be to God that he was not harmed physically, but the emotional trauma is way more than he or anyone should have to go through. God bless you and your father. All the best.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

MalteseMomma — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 13:00:41 GMT

I am so very sorry this happened to your dad. you have every right to be angry.I will keep your family in my prayers.

@jubilant

I came back here to tell you to get a laywer and sue! This kind of nursing home ignorance must stop.Maybe you can prevent this happening to someone else!

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

meallen616 — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 13:03:23 GMT

How terrible, for your family,

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

GSPgirl — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 13:10:06 GMT

@jubilant wrote:
My dear dad has been in a nursing home almost 4 yrs. now. Our family is there very often. This past week they put a 90 yr. old man in with him who is not "right in his mind". He crawled into bed with my dad and tried to get into his depends briefs. Dad was asleep and woke up to this. My father is extremely weak and bedridden. He cannot walk. He cannot even turn himself over in bed. He has lost all his bodily functions. We called Hospice in for him about 2 or 3 weeks ago and they come to the nursing home.......... so that tells you how weak he is.

I am angered beyond belief because they put this man in with my Dad (as his new roomate for several weeks) KNOWING THAT THIS MAN HAD DONE THIS BEFORE to someone else. How in God's name could they justify putting him in the same room with my dad (or anyone for that matter as their roommate?? )   This elderly man is weak in his mind but strong in his body.   Needless to say we moved Dad to a different home yesterday and I am filing complaints with the Dept. of health and the omsbedum against this home in hopes that this will not happen to another person.

We realize that this is not the fault of the old man....he is demented. As far as the family sees it....it was gross negligence.  The negligence of this nursing home in putting someone this capable of harming another person and who has attempted to molest and maybe even rape another person...especially someone weak and frail and probably in his last few months of life ...Well it's beyond our comprehension. I just want to put my head in my hands and bawl. Please pray for us if we come to mind today.

The administrator of the home had the gall to tell my mom that no harm was done and this would never happen again. Thankfully, he didn't rape my dad but he intended to get into his brief if he could. Thankfully, Dad had enough strength to scream out and be heard. The last couple of weeks he was so sick we thought we might loose him.

Tell them from now on your dad will be in a single room or you will call your lawyers. By the way, I do not reprersent Legal Shield but it costs me 20.00 a month to have a law firm represent me and i can ask for advice over the phone for free, just something to think about and the one time I used them they were outstanding and helped me without having to go into the office. I also have access to them 24 hours a day and so does my husband and son.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

goldensrbest — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 13:14:18 GMT

@jubilant, What this shows is total disregard for your dad, they knew about that man they placed with your dad,and because i feel they knew your dad was so ill, it would be okay if they put him in with your dad.

Re: I am angry and sick with grief this morning

missy1 — Sat, 10 Jun 2017 13:25:13 GMT

This is horrible.

How did you know this happened? Did you see it or can your dad still communicate that this happened to him?