topic Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸 in Community Chat

🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

AuberriJean — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:24:13 GMT

http://people.com/celebrity/why-happy-memorial-day-is-inappropriate/

"If you’re not off work today, you might be perusing online sales in your half-staffed office. Or you might be planning on attending a BBQ later.

Whatever you’re doing, don’t wish people a “Happy Memorial Day.”

Here’s why.

Memorial Day descends from the Southern tradition of “Decoration Day,” where families would travel to the cemeteries where their ancestors were interred to place flowers on their graves.

Often, large groups of extended families would make the trip, religious ceremonies would take place and food would be served.

Decoration Day used to reflect the cycles of farm life, taking place in late summer when farm work was lightest or in autumn after the seasonal harvest. (Some areas would also observe it on Sundays, to coincide with church services.)....

....

.....Memorial Day as a national holiday did not pass into common usage until after World War II, and wasn’t even designated as the holiday’s official name until 1967.

In 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which moved Memorial Day from its fixed date (along with three other holidays) to the last Monday in May. The law went into action on the federal level in 1971, and within a few years, all 50 states adopted the change.

Memorial Day is not – as Veterans Day is – a blanket remembrance of those who have served in the nation’s armed forces.

It is specifically designated to honor those who have died while serving the country, and because of its gradual erosion into a “start of summer” celebration, a number of organizations and individuals advocate for the return of the holiday to May 30, including both the Veterans of Foreign Wars and the Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War.

Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye, a World War II veteran, introduced a Congressional measure to return Memorial Day to May 30 in 1987, and continued to do so every year until his death in 2012. In 1999, he wrote,

“In our effort to accommodate many Americans by making the last Monday in May, Memorial Day, we have lost sight of the significance of this day to our nation.

Instead of using Memorial Day as a time to honor and reflect on the sacrifices made by Americans in combat, many Americans use the day as a celebration of the beginning of summer.”

Writing on the Listserve in 2013, U.S. Marine Tony Bundschuh elaborated on the idea. “There is a difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. Veterans Day is the one where we give thanks to all that have served, but Memorial Day is supposed to be a somber day set aside for remembrance of those that have died serving their country. It is not a happy day.”

Former SEAL Kevin Lacz, who served with American Sniper Chris Kyle in the platoon SEAL Team THREE Charlie, echoed those ideas this year on MyStatesman.com.

“Memorial Day needs to be a solemn remembrance of the brave Americans who have laid down their lives for the freedom we cherish.

Frankly, the mere act of putting on the uniform isn’t heroic. As Americans, we have begun to overuse the word ‘hero ‘ I stand by my claim that the real heroes are the men and women who don t come home. Memorial Day is for them.”

And lastly, in 2015, writing in the Washington Post, Marine Corps veteran Jennie Haskamp linked to the Congressional Research Services’ list of American War and Military Operations Casualties.

There are over 1.3 million names on the list.”I hope you enjoy your weekend,” she wrote, “but I hope you pause to remember, too.”

One small way you can do that: In December 2000, a resolution for a National Moment of Remembrance was passed, which calls for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect” at 3 p.m. local time.

Alternately, consider donating money to one of the many organization that supports families of combat-wounded or killed veterans or veterans themselves, like Hope for the Warriors, the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society or Homes for Our Troops."

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

AuberriJean — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:29:50 GMT

I’m a veteran, and I hate ‘Happy Memorial Day.’ Here’s why.

I have friends buried in a small corner of a rolling green field just down the road from the Pentagon.

They’re permanently assigned to Section 60. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s 14 acres in the southeast corner of Arlington National Cemetery that serves as a burial ground for many military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

There are fresh graves there.

I spent my formative years in combat boots and all of my friends are in the military, were in the military, or married into the military.

I have several friends buried at Arlington, and know of dozens more men and women interred in that hallowed ground....

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2015/05/22/im-a-veteran-and-i-hate-happy-memorial-day-heres-why/

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Noel7 — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:33:27 GMT

Whether we like it or not, traditionally Memorial Day also signals the beginning of Summer, which many people celebrate.

There are also people who celebrate the life of a deceased loved one.

I'm not about to chastise anyone who says Happy Day to me. I put up a few traditional patriotic decorations and feature the photo of my direct ancestor who died from war wounds fighting for the Union. I do think it's good to remember all who fought for our freedom but imo it doesn't have to be a day of mourning.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

sunshine45 — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:36:58 GMT

OP-ED......just another point of view......

full article at

http://observer.com/2015/05/its-perfectly-ok-to-say-happy-memorial-day/

Navy Pilot: It’s Perfectly OK to Say ‘Happy Memorial Day’

For those who see this day of remembrance being trivialized, it is easy to take offense at the suggestion that there is anything happy about it.

I do not recall my father or grandfather giving much thought to how they would greet neighbors at our own backyard picnics—it was always “Happy Memorial Day.” Perhaps that is because prior generations needed no reminders about what the holiday signified. My grandfather’s war, WWII, was a national effort, in which everybody sacrificed something. My father’s war, Vietnam, was deeply divisive, but at least everyone knew it was happening. The draft ensured a lot more families had skin in the game.

Today it is different. Less than 1 percent of Americans have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. The vast majority of civilians do not know anyone who died there. The farther into our national memory these wars recede, the more important it is to maintain reminders of the price paid. That, I suspect, is the underlying reason behind excising the “Happy” out of Memorial Day. But however well intentioned, this attitude does nothing to preserve the memory of those who died defending our way of life. In fact, it does the opposite.

I do not know a single veteran who expects the country to mark this holiday with 24 hours of uninterrupted sadness. A few years ago, I spent Memorial Day at a military cemetery visiting my grandfather’s grave. Though I was there to grieve, I could not help but recall stories that made me laugh—like when his plane’s emergency raft deployed in flight, and his machine gunner nearly shot off the tail trying to deflate it. Smiling at that memory, I realized I was not alone. All around me was the sound of quiet laughter, as families gathered before simple white headstones to remember loved ones lost. These days, when I reminisce with my buddies about friends who did not come home from war, the stories we most often tell are ones that bring us joy.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

millieshops — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:39:08 GMT

@AuberriJeanThanks for the history. I had forgotten all about Decoration Day, but now I remember that in the 1950's when I was in high school, my Pennsylvania town commemorated the day with a parade. I was a member of the band; we marched in a parade which ended at the local cemetary where there was always a program honoring the sacrifice of our local deceased vets.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Noel7 — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:42:16 GMT

@AuberriJean wrote:

I’m a veteran, and I hate ‘Happy Memorial Day.’ Here’s why.

I have friends buried in a small corner of a rolling green field just down the road from the Pentagon.

They’re permanently assigned to Section 60. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s 14 acres in the southeast corner of Arlington National Cemetery that serves as a burial ground for many military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

There are fresh graves there.

I spent my formative years in combat boots and all of my friends are in the military, were in the military, or married into the military.

I have several friends buried at Arlington, and know of dozens more men and women interred in that hallowed ground....

Continue reading

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2015/05/22/im-a-veteran-and-i-hate-happy-memorial-day-heres-why/

****************************

I was locked out of your article becasue I don't subscribe to WashPo.

My brother in law died suddenly last week of cancer. He was in the Navy and will be buried at a military cemetery... we were very close.

My husband was US Air Force, thankfully never hurt.

Both of our fathers had top security clearance and worked for the war department during WW2.

I have always been a proud supporter of our veterans and want them to get the best medical care possible and financial help if they need it.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Sweetbay magnolia — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:43:47 GMT

Is it OK to wear red white and blue? And decorate my porch in the same?

In my mind I am paying homage to the deserved.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

AuberriJean — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:47:39 GMT

@Noel7 wrote:
@AuberriJean wrote:

I’m a veteran, and I hate ‘Happy Memorial Day.’ Here’s why.

I have friends buried in a small corner of a rolling green field just down the road from the Pentagon.

They’re permanently assigned to Section 60. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s 14 acres in the southeast corner of Arlington National Cemetery that serves as a burial ground for many military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

There are fresh graves there.

I spent my formative years in combat boots and all of my friends are in the military, were in the military, or married into the military.

I have several friends buried at Arlington, and know of dozens more men and women interred in that hallowed ground....

Continue reading

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2015/05/22/im-a-veteran-and-i-hate-happy-memorial-day-heres-why/

****************************

I was locked out of your article becasue I don't subscribe to WashPo.

My brother in law died suddenly last week of cancer. He was in the Navy and will be buried at a military cemetery... we were very close.

My husband was US Air Force, thankfully never hurt.

Both of our fathers had top security clearance and worked for the war department during WW2.

I have always been a proud supporter of our veterans and want them to get the best medical care possible and financial help if they need it.

My family lost several heroes who perished in combat.

Not a sure why you can't read the article.

I don't subscribe to WashPo and I can read it.

My condolences to you and your family.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

AuberriJean — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:46:41 GMT

Why I No Longer Say “Happy Memorial Day”

I’ve been guilty.

I’m 34 years old- a good patriotic southern girl with a firm respect for our military- but it didn’t hit me until last year that the words “Happy” and “Memorial Day” should never coexist in the same sentence.

I was at a family member’s BBQ. A wonderfully kind and compassionate family member was gravely bothered. Someone had called her out for saying “Happy Memorial Day.” She was concerned that she had offended someone.

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry about it. They are just overly sensitive!” I assured her.

And I went back to watching my kids splish and splash in the blow-up pool.

But I couldn’t brush the issue aside. And neither could my other family members. We debated and quickly realized the error of our collective ways.

For 32 years, I gorged on hamburgers, devoured home-made ice cream, and wakeboarded and inter-tubed all day long on the river. As a show of respect for the day, my Dad always purchases a brand-new American flag to display proudly on our dock.

It is a day where we enjoy our freedoms. And let people know that we love America.

But, I’d never really even paused to consider what Memorial Day is all about.

The full gravity and solemnity of this day – the day that is set aside to honor the men and women who died in combat- had somehow escaped my consciousness......

.........
.......A young combat veteran, who did time overseas in Iraq, recently approached me and told me how hard Memorial Day is for him. How immensely uncomfortable it makes him when people to thank him for his service. He’s home now, with his family. But he lives with the vivid memories of his colleagues and superiors dying in combat. Dying to save him.

I can’t imagine the atrocities he witnessed and now can’t forget. “Don’t thank him,” he implores. Instead, remember the fallen soldiers and their families. He says, “Thanking a combat veteran on Memorial Day has always seemed awkward and somewhat hurtful.”

I see the images, floating around social media, of young widows- with clenched faces- lying on blankets atop the flower-covered graves of their husbands. Some of these women have babies in their laps- babies that will never see the face of the father who died protecting all of our freedoms.

And just this morning I read brutally raw and honest commentary, published by the Chicago Tribune, titled I’m a veteran, and I hate ‘ Happy Memorial Day.’ It’s powerful stuff. Read it.

I get it now. I’m sorry veterans and family members of the fallen.

I shouldn’t have ever said it.

I’ll say it all day long on the Fourth of July. I’ll thank you on Veterans Day. But today I’ll refrain from the word…because…

There is no “Happy” in “Memorial Day.”

It’s a day of remembrance.

Today is a day where we should pause, pray, and give gratitude to the 1.3 million brave men and women who have died to protect the very freedoms that we are privileged to enjoy on this beautiful day.

So in addition to all the fun and revelry in which we partake….let’s stop and remember."

http://www.bonbonbreak.com/no-longer-say-happy-memorial-day/#.WSifbYUpDYU

.....

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Noel7 — Fri, 26 May 2017 21:48:16 GMT

@AuberriJean wrote:

My family lost several heroes who perished in combat

Not a sure why you can't read it.

I don't subscribe to WashPo and I can read it.

My condolences to you and your family.

@AuberriJean

WashPo has a policy that if you don't subscribe to them, you only get to look at three free articles from them per month. I've obviously used up my share already They are a great source.

Thank you for your condolences, Augergine.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

noodleann — Fri, 26 May 2017 22:12:26 GMT

I am so sick of censorship.

I am HAPPY that my male relatives, going back generations, fought for this country--first, to free it from oppressors and create it, then to preserve it from disunion, and then to help rescue the rest of the world from chaos and dictatorships. They made my country possible.

Those relatives I have known personally have HONORED the day by marking the sacrifices of those who died in that service, usually in ceremonies held in the cemetery, and then RELISHING the rest of the afternoon and evening by spending it with loved ones in festive activities. It would not have crossed their minds to assert a sour solemnity over the day. They didn't do what they did so we could cower, our lower lips trembling, because some jerk with a platform bullies us.

Enjoy this day. Celebrate our country. Thank our armed forces, the fallen and those still standing. Be happy we have what we have. Yes, Happy Memorial Day.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Gram W — Fri, 26 May 2017 22:30:37 GMT

@AuberriJean. Thank you for your beautiful words. I wish more people of all ages understood as you now do.

A favorite memory of mine growing up was going to several cemeteries preparing for Memorial Day with my grandmother. We cleaned the area for each of the individuals she knew, trimmed shrubs so old stones could be seen and filled a large canning jar with flowers from her garden. She told me briefly about each person many who were gone before I was born. She taught me to be thankful for their sacrifice and to never forget. We did this until her late 80s when she and her walker could no longer walk the hills and uneven ground. I still travel each year to a couple of the cemeteries. The cemeteries have grown and changed and my memory can not find those from the oldest generations but I have not forgotten them or the lessons she taught me.

I worry about my 6 year old grandson because of all the important history he is not learning in school. They don't teach why we have these special days. I talk to him and explain in small does and hope he remembers but what I say conflicts with what his teachers say. Up thru 3rd grade he went to a small rural school where they regularly pledged our flag and sang God Bless America at all regular assemblies. Now they have to go to the large district elementary school. This year neither is done. I don't want him to lose respect for his teachers authority but I also want him to understand the sacrifices others have made to keep our country free and safe. Our family has been blessed as all of our service members have returned home. Our last was lost at the end of WWII.

My flag is out as always, under a mercury light so it is never in the dark, and I will be lowering it half way on the 29th.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

sidsmom — Fri, 26 May 2017 22:49:12 GMT

I see it as 'Have a Good Memorial Day', meaning...honor it as you wish.

The American Flag is half-staff only until Noon.

After 12:00, the day is like any other non-lowering day and

your summertime festivities can commence.

Of course, there's a 3pm remembrance, if you wish to observe.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

chrystaltree — Sat, 27 May 2017 01:02:43 GMT

Get with the program....lol Like or not, Memorial Day is also the start of summer. It's the first summer holiday and the beginning of pic nics, bbq's pool parties etc. It's both a day of remembering and honoring for some and a day for fun. So, Happy Memorial Day to everyone!

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

candys mine — Sat, 27 May 2017 10:34:18 GMT

@sidsmom Thank You. Out of ALL the comments posted here about what NOT to say to aknowledge the day and why, Yours is the only post I've seen that gives advice of What TO say. I am very aware that " happy" is not exactly appropriate for the reverent aspect of the day but without ignoring the day completely What do you say to people? thank you for offering something constructive.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Plaid Pants2 — Sat, 27 May 2017 13:00:17 GMT

Saying "Happy Memorial Day!" is the same thing as saying "Happy Funeral Day!", or "Happy that your friend/loved one is dead!"

Ask a soldier who lost a friend in battle if Memorial Day is "happy".

Ask a mother who lost a child in battle if Memorial Day is "happy".

Ask a child who lost a parent in battle if Memorial Day is "happy".

Ask a wife who lost her husband in battle if Memorial Day is "happy".

No, there is nothing "happy" about Memorial Day.

It is a day set aside to honor those who have DIED in battle, who have LAID DOWN THEIR LIVES for our country.

It is a blatent disrespect to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice to say, "Happy Memorial Day".

It is like ignoring the FACT that their death ment anything.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

SaRina — Sat, 27 May 2017 11:52:56 GMT

I think it would be a good idea to move Memorial Day to another day of the week. That way, it won't be part of a 3-day weekend, heralding the summer season and it won't be lumped together with BBQ's and sales. I'll bet people won't be saying "Happy Memorial Day" if it were to come on a Wednesday.

I'm not against people having the BBQ's or looking forward to sales, but the sad thing about a lot of people who go around saying "Happy Memorial Day" is that these people, IMO, truly do forget the meaning of the day.

Re: 🇺🇸WHY 'HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY' IS INAPPROPRIATE🇺🇸

Plaid Pants2 — Sat, 27 May 2017 12:59:32 GMT

@SaRina wrote:
I think it would be a good idea to move Memorial Day to another day of the week. That way, it won't be part of a 3-day weekend, heralding the summer season and it won't be lumped together with BBQ's and sales. I'll bet people won't be saying "Happy Memorial Day" if it were to come on a Wednesday.

I'm not against people having the BBQ's or looking forward to sales, but the sad thing about a lot of people who go around saying "Happy Memorial Day" is that these people, IMO, truly do forget the meaning of the day.

Either that, or they just plain don't care.