topic Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist? in Community Chat

🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

Pruett — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 11:13:10 GMT

Are you a pessimist or optimist?

Do you do anything in particular to lift your mood when you get a down in the dumps feeling?

Any tips for positive thinking?

tia!

HAVE A NICE DAY!

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

meallen616 — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 11:14:50 GMT

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

meallen616 — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 11:15:40 GMT

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

cotton4me — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 11:39:44 GMT

I would say I’m a reformed pessimist. Every coin has two sides and I do my best to see the positive side. I lift my mood by taking a walk and/or making a mental list of all the things I’m grateful for. Having a grateful heart makes a big difference. For instance, if I’m trying to get somewhere and everything keeps going wrong, I can get crabby or think that maybe there’s a reason I’m being delayed, that the Universe is looking out for me. I really do try to see the positives in everything, including what seems like a negative event.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

deedledeedeedle — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 11:44:34 GMT

@Pruett,

There is a lot of truth to the saying, "Misery loves company". Truly miserable people will gravitate toward each other and just stew in their own negativity. When I have days when the "storm clouds are gathering" I try to consciously tamp the negativity down and stay optimistic because there is nothing worse than a Debbie downer. I learned a long time ago that happiness is a choice.

dee

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

on the bay — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 14:54:20 GMT

I think with truly sad things, I definitely cry and am sad, but in general, I tend to have a lot of hope.

If I am starting to feel down about general and all things and my life, I do try to think of things I am grateful for.

So interesting the study they did with veterans who have ptsd and had them write things they were grateful for. In some 90 plus %, it really elevated their overall mood.They found that

our brains cannot think negatively at the same time we are thankful or grateful.

And I pretty much have running conversations with the one above!

I know people sometimes say, well we have it a lot better than so and so, but that doesn't always help I think when someone is truly in some worrisome straits because each persons sorrow and pain is personal to them.

I do think it helps to go out and talk or help someone-a neighbor, family, a friend or even a stranger-to connect to the world.

But sometimes, we may feel too sad or down to do that and that's when I talk to Him always and also my bff's-my kids

As one of my wise daughters said-"Mom, we share our joys and our sorrows."

Some people are born with an optimistic view and others not but I've known that someone can practice optimism and hope until it becomes more natural.

One thing Oprah said once (and not that I adhere to everything she says), is that "We've got to change the tape" (the one that runs over and over in our minds; from one of negativity to one of hope and seeing the good things in our lives and when there don't seem to be any-reach out.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

Trinity11 — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 15:00:25 GMT

Optimist...although I think I am a realist too. I know when to realize there isn't always a light at the end of the tunnel..

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

wagirl — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 15:28:54 GMT

I used to be more optimistic but having gone thru breast cancer and then the way of the world of late, I am not feeling very good about the future. I wake up each day wondering which shoe will drop and what that shoe is going to do.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

deepwaterdotter — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 15:43:48 GMT

I don't know if there's an -ism for dealing with whatever happens in the best way I know how, but that's what I try to do each day.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

software — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 16:17:03 GMT

I'm 'wired" to be an optimist.

If you only knew what all I've been through you would shake your head.

But I am happy, blessed and always looking forward to the future

@Pruett

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

jaxs mom — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 16:26:41 GMT

Create some affirmations that are specific to whatever you negative thinking issue is. Then repeat them regularly, especially when you start playing those old negative tapes in your head.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

hckynut — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 18:33:56 GMT

During all of the roughest times in my life, to get through them, Optimism was and is still, my best friend. Regardless of what one is facing, pessimism is of no use, and a waste of physical and mental energy.

No matter the darkness, I always see a glimmer of light at the end of the longest of tunnels. Tips? Write down the positives you have, or have had in your life. Next to it, write the negatives. If one is honest with themselves, most will have a much longer list on 1 side of that ledger than the other. Which side is yours?

hckynut(john)

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

chickenbutt — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 18:52:01 GMT

I'm a realist, which many would consider to be pessimistic. But I couldn't imagine constant optimism because I'd be disappointed so much more!

But, hey, if I expect the worst it's either going to be what I already expected OR BETTER. Nothing wrong with that.

If I always expected everything to come out gloriously wonderful in this life, I'd spend most of my time being disappointed. This is why I like being a realist. It makes much more sense to me. YMMV, and that's just fine.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

hckynut — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 19:10:01 GMT

@chickenbutt

I don't view results or expectations as disappointments or failures. Have all things met my expectations and optimism? Of course not, but that did not change my view of looking positively, versus negatively.

I too am a realist, but I don't see realism having anything to do with being an optimist. Really don't look at things where I missed my mark and say, oh I am so disappointed. My outlooks will always be for the good ahead, in spite of my realism. One can be a realist and an optimist, no person is limited to not being both.

I see no reasons to spend my time thinking about negative outcomes, and if ones life consists of doing so? Their choice, but not mine.

hckynut(john)

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

Moonchilde — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 19:58:08 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
I'm a realist, which many would consider to be pessimistic. But I couldn't imagine constant optimism because I'd be disappointed so much more!

But, hey, if I expect the worst it's either going to be what I already expected OR BETTER. Nothing wrong with that.

If I always expected everything to come out gloriously wonderful in this life, I'd spend most of my time being disappointed. This is why I like being a realist. It makes much more sense to me. YMMV, and that's just fine.

This is me. Being an optimist 24/7/365 about everything just isn't realistic or 'balanced.' I look at something from all sides and calculate the likelihood (from what I know) of something turning out okay vs not okay. To me there is no point (and I certainly wouldn't be fooling myself in any way) in trying to force myself to believe that Everything will always Be Okay. It isn't always okay. And that's a fact.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

chickenbutt — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 20:03:39 GMT

Moonchilde wrote:
chickenbutt wrote:
I'm a realist, which many would consider to be pessimistic. But I couldn't imagine constant optimism because I'd be disappointed so much more!

But, hey, if I expect the worst it's either going to be what I already expected OR BETTER. Nothing wrong with that.

If I always expected everything to come out gloriously wonderful in this life, I'd spend most of my time being disappointed. This is why I like being a realist. It makes much more sense to me. YMMV, and that's just fine.

This is me. Being an optimist 24/7/365 about everything just isn't realistic or 'balanced.' I look at something from all sides and calculate the likelihood (from what I know) of something turning out okay vs not okay. To me there is no point (and I certainly wouldn't be fooling myself in any way) in trying to force myself to believe that Everything will always Be Okay. It isn't always okay. And that's a fact.

Yes!

I get the impression (here, anyway) that some people consider a realist or pessimist to be somebody who just sits around being negative about everything.

It's just that we think things out and base our expectation on stuff like facts and, well, just pure realism.

Don't even get me started on the people who ALWAYS, no matter what, say 'it's going to be ok'. NO! It's not always going to be ok. Consider realism and you will know that everything is not always going to be ok, and that's fine. (bit of a sore spot with me)

I'll ask 'and why do you think that it's going to be ok' (on something that has about a 99% chance of NOT being ok'. The answer is usually a non-answer like 'oh, I just know it is'. No you don't! You just wish it was and you live in your own created version of reality. okey dokey then. rolleyes

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

Moonchilde — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 20:14:23 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
@Moonchilde wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
I'm a realist, which many would consider to be pessimistic. But I couldn't imagine constant optimism because I'd be disappointed so much more!

But, hey, if I expect the worst it's either going to be what I already expected OR BETTER. Nothing wrong with that.

If I always expected everything to come out gloriously wonderful in this life, I'd spend most of my time being disappointed. This is why I like being a realist. It makes much more sense to me. YMMV, and that's just fine.

This is me. Being an optimist 24/7/365 about everything just isn't realistic or 'balanced.' I look at something from all sides and calculate the likelihood (from what I know) of something turning out okay vs not okay. To me there is no point (and I certainly wouldn't be fooling myself in any way) in trying to force myself to believe that Everything will always Be Okay. It isn't always okay. And that's a fact.

Yes!

I get the impression (here, anyway) that some people consider a realist or pessimist to be somebody who just sits around being negative about everything.

It's just that we think things out and base our expectation on stuff like facts and, well, just pure realism.

Don't even get me started on the people who ALWAYS, no matter what, say 'it's going to be ok'. NO! It's not always going to be ok. Consider realism and you will know that everything is not always going to be ok, and that's fine. (bit of a sore spot with me)

I'll ask 'and why do you think that it's going to be ok' (on something that has about a 99% chance of NOT being ok'. The answer is usually a non-answer like 'oh, I just know it is'. No you don't! You just wish it was and you live in your own created version of reality. okey dokey then. rolleyes

Life isn't fair. Everything in life is not going to turn out well. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows and unicorn f*rts - it just isn't. That's common sense and logic. But it's like some people honestly believe that if they ever doubt the outcome of something and it doesn't turn out well, they are responsible, because they (gasp!) doubted.

*More eyerolls.*

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

chickenbutt — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 20:20:06 GMT

That's a really great point, Moonchilde! I think some folks were told at a young age that you MUST think positively about everything and everything will turn out ok.

I can see how that could turn into them thinking that they weren't positive enough and they caused something bad to happen.

Well, fact of the matter is - nobody can control everything and certainly not by their wishes.

Much of the stuff we learn during our formative years sticks with us, no matter how warped. Hey, I'm as damaged as they next person, and probably more damaged than most. I think one of the things that helped me through was reality-based thinking. Making everything emotional will not usually turn out well. In order to survive, one must not emotionalize everything.

Look at animals. Their survival is based on realism. Everything is what it is and you respond accordingly.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

truffle — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 20:31:11 GMT

I'm an optimist but within reason.

Re: 🌞Tips For Postive Thinking? Pessimist Or Optimist?

catwhisperer — Sun, 30 Apr 2017 20:31:32 GMT

@chickenbutt, @Moonchilde....I could not agree with you more about being realistic. People who walk around day after day thinking everything is all peachy keen are not living in my world. Thank you both for your realistic, down to earth comments.