topic Re: Would you send a gift for this? in Community Chat

Would you send a gift for this?

151949 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:58:48 GMT

We got a wedding invitation in the mail today. It is a couple we barely know - as a matter of fact - we didn't even know their last names until we got the invitation. The wedding is in Pittsburgh and will occur several weeks before we even go back for the summer so we are returning the RSVP that we can not attend. However, the couple are people who we do business with regularly every summer while we are home, and we don't want to insult them. I was thinking we could just send a nice card.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

Glitter51 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:06:50 GMT

I hate to say it but I believe some wedding invitations are for receiving a gift. Only you know if the couple will be upset by not receiving a gift. Me personally, if I didn't know their last name, I would not feel obligated to send a gift!!!

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

riley1 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:14:35 GMT

If you didn't know their last name, you really don't know them that well at all. I would say NO to the invite and probably not even send a card.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

gidgetgh — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:16:26 GMT

@riley1 wrote:
If you didn't know their last name, you really don't know them that well at all. I would say NO to the invite and probably not even send a card.

I agree. I'd send my regrets and be done. No card or gift.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

chrystaltree — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:17:54 GMT

If you do business with them, obviously you do know them. They are business associates and if their business is important to you, send a gift. Don't spend a lot of money, send something that looks like it's more expensive than it is. If they are registered, select from that. If you don't care about their business, send a nice card and a bottle of wine.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

occasionalrain — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:22:39 GMT

It's obviously a gift grab. The question is whether you need to remain in their favor. If they are in a position to affect you negatively then send a gift and consider it the cost of remaining in good standing. Otherwise, not a chance.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

rrpell — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:28:20 GMT

I always err on the side of overdoing.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

chrystaltree — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:28:27 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
It's obviously a gift grab. The question is whether you need to remain in their favor. If they are in a position to affect you negatively then send a gift and consider it the cost of remaining in good standing. Otherwise, not a chance.

The problem with a gift card in circumstances like that is they can't send a $25 or $30 gift card; that would be too cheap. But they can "mask" a gift. A smart shopper can always select a gift that looks more expensive than it is. This isn't the kid from down the street, it's a business associate.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

seaBreeze — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:35:21 GMT

NO~!

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

occasionalrain — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:41:11 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
It's obviously a gift grab. The question is whether you need to remain in their favor. If they are in a position to affect you negatively then send a gift and consider it the cost of remaining in good standing. Otherwise, not a chance.

The problem with a gift card in circumstances like that is they can't send a $25 or $30 gift card; that would be too cheap. But they can "mask" a gift. A smart shopper can always select a gift that looks more expensive than it is. This isn't the kid from down the street, it's a business associate.

I never mentioned anything about a gift card. For that matter, I'm against gift cards, have never given one to anyone and never will.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

151949 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:46:40 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
If you do business with them, obviously you do know them. They are business associates and if their business is important to you, send a gift. Don't spend a lot of money, send something that looks like it's more expensive than it is. If they are registered, select from that. If you don't care about their business, send a nice card and a bottle of wine.

Actually we are customers of their business. They have a small tailoring /alterations shop with a post office in there and a mac machine from our bank right next to our campground. We have a PO box there and I frequently go there to get my mail and buy rolls of quarters from them for the laundromat. Often we will stop and chat with them as they are very pleasant.I once had her hem a dress for me to wear to an event. There are pop machines in there too & I'll go in there when I'm doing my laundry to get a cold drink. That is our total assoc with them.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

beckyb1012 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:47:26 GMT

I would vote no on any gift and save yourself the possibility of getting baby shower invites as well.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

HerRoyaLioness — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:35:45 GMT

If you "do business with regularly every summer" then, of course, yes, you should send a gift.

ETA: I just saw what you meant by "doing business with them" and it doesn't seem like a real business realtionship, so do whatever you think would be best.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

151949 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:49:56 GMT

Honestly, we did not even know they weren't married. Their daughter graduated from HS last year and I gave her a card & a gift card so I guess now they have us labeled as an easy mark.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

sunshine45 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:55:07 GMT

@151949 wrote:
Honestly, we did not even know they weren't married. Their daughter graduated from HS last year and I gave her a card & a gift card so I guess now they have us labeled as an easy mark.

if you think they wanted you to enjoy the celebration with them because you are friendly and they like you, then send a small gift or check. if you really think they consider you "an easy mark" then maybe you should pass on any gift or acknowledgement other than sending the response card back.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

NativeJax — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:09:28 GMT

I am going to play devils advocate for a moment....you patronize their business and have gone as far as gifting their daughter for graduation. Is it possible that really like y'all as a couple and thought if you were in town you might enjoy in the celebration?

I really like to think more of people than less....I am not one to instantly think everyone is out for something even though often they are. It costs alot of money for catering, venues, etc.....unless you were planning on an elaborate gift choice it is typically a wash in terms of the cost to have you attend and what gift you send or bring.

Also, while you don't know their last names, they do know yours because you have left a lasting impression on them. If you are unable to attend, regretfully decline and send a beautiful card....when you arrive in the summer, maybe bring them a lovely picture frame as a gift or if you know if they drink wine, maybe pop in on your next visit with a nice bottle of wine or champagne. Just a thought....

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

Melania — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:10:00 GMT

The obviously like you...can't you just send something?

They extended an invite and yet you are now judging their "relationship".

It will be awkward when you see them from now on and maybe you don't care but I think it's a nice thing to do.

People here are so suspicious and not very nice about an invite.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

scatcat — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:10:38 GMT

I think you answered your own question

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

Mj12 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:19:21 GMT

Sad to assume someone thinks you're an "easy mark" rather than they might want you to celebrate with them.

Re: Would you send a gift for this?

HisElk1 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:21:41 GMT

@Mj12 wrote:
Sad to assume someone thinks you're an "easy mark" rather than they might want you to celebrate with them.

@Mj12, I give you a standing ovation!