topic Was it just me? in Community Chat

Was it just me?

151949 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:13:09 GMT

So often we read here a post that starts - my friend's family member is having this or that financial issue. Be it an insurance problem , or the mortgage co , or the bank etc etc etc. What always strikes me about this is - how much do people know about other people's financial issues? I can barely keep track of my own finances and I certainly don't sit around discussing other people's private business affairs. Also , if someone trusts you to help them out with a financial issue shouldn't you keep their finances to yourself and not be blabbing it to your friends or on a public chat board? Perhaps it's just me - but I tend to not believe threads that start out like that are not just made up. Often to try an underhanded political discussion.

Re: Was it just me?

K9buddy — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:26:16 GMT

Maybe they're really asking for themselves and don't want to admit it on a message board. So what? They're looking for advice....if you have any, give it. If you don't have any advice, move on to another thread.

Re: Was it just me?

QueenDanceALot — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:31:49 GMT

No, I don't know details about even close friends' financial issues. I may know they are struggling, but not all the dirty details.

And I agree, that things like that are not fodder for public chat rooms and bulletin boards.

Re: Was it just me?

Mz iMac — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:35:25 GMT

As one of many helpers on another forum, we all noticed the issue(s) presented more than not starts off w/"my friend."

Us helpers have come to the conclusion the "friend" is actually the " original poster" themselves.

Like you said, the OPs knows to much info about the "friend" as if they are standing right next to them while posting.

Sometimes, I advise the poster to have their "friend" post the problem/issues.

Now what is going on in these forums I don't know nor care for that matter. As long as you do not post personal , you are in the clear & I could give a rats a$$. I don't know anyone here from a can of spray paint!

Re: Was it just me?

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:54:36 GMT

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
No, I don't know details about even close friends' financial issues. I may know they are struggling, but not all the dirty details.

And I agree, that things like that are not fodder for public chat rooms and bulletin boards.

It just depends on the people. I know some people who don't keep ANYTHING to themselves and they're not usually close friends. Some people will tell anyone anything.

Re: Was it just me?

ladyroxanne — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:58:59 GMT

i agree with @151949

i wouldn't ask for advice re financial matters and never, ever discuss a friend's finances which i don't want to know anyhow.

Re: Was it just me?

Moonchilde — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:06:45 GMT

As another poster said, it doesn't matter to me if someone says "a friend" and really means themselves - the more sensitive are perhaps wise to do this here as we know certain posters just love to rip others to shreds over anything they can find to do it about.

If someone is seeking advice, they're seeking advice. If they're just gossiping and trash talking someone, that becomes evident pretty quickly.

I do believe some people end up knowing a lot about others' personal lives - whether they want to or not 😜

Re: Was it just me?

chrystaltree — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:24:03 GMT

I think discussing anything at all, regardles of how private is perfectly ok on a public chat board as long as you don't identify the person by name or give addresses. We don't know each other on this board, we certainly don't know "Susie's cousin. Sometimes people need to talk about things and a forum like this is the only way that can, they can't talk to the people in the lives about such things. As for believing posts, I don't believe half of what I read on any board but that's okay because even if a post is "questionable" someone else my get help or learn something from the discussion.

Re: Was it just me?

goldensrbest — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:48:28 GMT

I happen to think there is enough control issues on here.

Re: Was it just me?

GenXmuse — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 20:02:15 GMT

Is this referring to someone in particular? If so, perhaps ask them? I'm not in the mood to criticize others.

I don't see why it matters one way or another.

Re: Was it just me?

QueenDanceALot — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 20:43:13 GMT

I really could understand someone "asking for a friend" as I've seen the responses to those who admit financial failings.

They are treated to numerous posts from posters who have made fabulous financial decisions their entire lives.

Re: Was it just me?

software — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 20:44:33 GMT

In my world, every now & then a friend or family member will have a financial issue come to the surface, usually at the time of a divorce or death in the family. But otherwise, I know nothing of others' financial affairs. I'd rather NOT know.

@151949

Re: Was it just me?

GenXmuse — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 20:52:38 GMT

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
I really could understand someone "asking for a friend" as I've seen the responses to those who admit financial failings.

They are treated to numerous posts from posters who have made fabulous financial decisions their entire lives.

Lol, I know! And what a treat it is! 😜

Re: Was it just me?

SisterGoldenHair — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 21:07:48 GMT

@151949 wrote:
So often we read here a post that starts - my friend's family member is having this or that financial issue. Be it an insurance problem , or the mortgage co , or the bank etc etc etc. What always strikes me about this is - how much do people know about other people's financial issues? I can barely keep track of my own finances and I certainly don't sit around discussing other people's private business affairs. Also , if someone trusts you to help them out with a financial issue shouldn't you keep their finances to yourself and not be blabbing it to your friends or on a public chat board? Perhaps it's just me - but I tend to not believe threads that start out like that are not just made up. Often to try an underhanded political discussion.

@151949I believe that you are calling the kettle black since not long ago you were discussing a man's situation that your husband had found on your computer. So I guess your thread was also make up

Re: Was it just me?

151949 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 21:37:56 GMT

HUH?

Re: Was it just me?

151949 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 21:39:31 GMT

I often wonder about those who claim to have so much money too -A lot of people have online fantasy lives.

Re: Was it just me?

Irshgrl31201 — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 21:43:23 GMT

@Moonchilde wrote:
As another poster said, it doesn't matter to me if someone says "a friend" and really means themselves - the more sensitive are perhaps wise to do this here as we know certain posters just love to rip others to shreds over anything they can find to do it about.

If someone is seeking advice, they're seeking advice. If they're just gossiping and trash talking someone, that becomes evident pretty quickly.

I do believe some people end up knowing a lot about others' personal lives - whether they want to or not 😜

Yep! I have had friends for years and I don't know a thing about their finances and then I have known people for much less time and they always talk about their finances.I agree with you though about the post becoming evident quite quickly regarding their intentions. I also don't see how mentioning it on an anonymous board is breaking their trust. No one knows who they are talking about.

Sometimes I don't know if they are just the type of people who talk about that kind of stuff or if they're doing so because my husband works in finance and a wealth manager and are looking for advice but just don't want to come out and ask.

Re: Was it just me?

IMissSuperPoke — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 23:21:10 GMT

I have a sister in law that always tries to get of us how much my husband makes per year. Before we were married, my husband would tell her. He's had a career change since then and seems like she can't stand the fact she doesn't know his earnings! She is rea!ly an awful person--if she knew, she would just find ways to point out how much more they have than us and what other places my husband could find work instead!